No Excuses For Lent! Make Room for God (2nd Sunday of Lent, Year C)

To listen to this homily, click here. 

These lenten days and weeks are busy for all of us, I know! As a priest, this is like the playoffs with the added confessions here at IW and at our neighboring parishes and schools. There are also prayer breakfasts and days of recollection and retreats and bible studies to help out with, all leading to the big kahuna, we call Holy Week! During lent, there are times when I can barely keep my eyes open for the second half of the day! In those moments, I am reminded of something I read, called “The 5 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.” I am sharing them with you in case they might prove helpful down the road, hopefully not during this homily!

#5, “They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.”  #4,“This is just a 15-minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.” #3, “Wow! I guess I left the top off the White-out. You got here just in time.” #2, “Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?” And #1, if all else fails, raise your head slowly and say, In Jesus’ Name, Amen!”

We all tend to be masters of excuses and rationalization, especially when it comes to lent and our resolutions. We usually start off with a bang, with an impressive list of wills and will-nots that would make the pope sweat. After a day or two, we are pretty proud of ourselves and maybe even start designing the holy card they can use at our canonization. Then we hit the two-week mark and often the wheels start to fall off. Of course we mean well and have great intentions but we rarely emerge from these 40 days having kept our word to the Lord. One of the reasons for our failure is that we focus on the negative. “I won’t watch tv”, “I won’t eat sweets”, “I won’t …(you fill in the blank). This is all well and good but more often than not, in focusing so much on the negative, we don’t spend enough time reflecting on what comes next, what we are replacing it with. When we fall into this pattern, we are digging holes without ever planting anything in them. 

The point of our penance is not so much what we get rid of, although that is important; it’s really about what we want to replace it with, namely God and virtue. Take that principle and apply it to your resolutions this year. If you gave up ice cream, does that sacrifice make you think of God more often? If so, great! Keep up the good work! But if it just makes you fixate on the next time you have a huge bucket of Haagen Daas in front of you, move on to another penance!

Truth be told, the most profitable penances focus on the positive, on a greater good for ourselves and others, a goal that brings out the best version of ourselves for the glory of God. For example, “I want to cut down on screen time, so I can spend more time with God and be present to my family and friends around me.” “I am going to give away more of my time and money to help others and put them first.” “I am going to honesty evaluate my spending and consumption according to needs vs wants so my desires do not rule me and I can set my sights on the one thing, the one person who truly satisfies!” These are the sort of resolutions that really make a difference over the course of a lenten season.

So, with the positive in mind, let me suggest three creative and off-beat penances for Lent that you might consider, especially if your resolve has already begun to waver on the resolutions you chose 10 days ago.

First, release a secret from your past which weighs you down and causes you shame. All of us have a history, much of it good but some of it bad. Very often, the darkest moments of our life are known only to God and ourselves. We form habits of self-hatred for our mistakes and we even wonder if God can love that part of our past which hurt him and others. That secret festers and creates a wound that never quite heals. Use this lent to let go of whatever secret you carry. Bring it to God in the sacrament of confession. Let him take it from you and shine his light upon it. If you are nervous about sharing something like that with a priest you know, then find out where they are having a parish mission or extra confessions with a visiting priest who you will never see again. That’s what I would do!  Perhaps, after you receive absolution, you may feel called to share that secret with a close friend or counselor who will help you continue the healing process. Whatever the case, stop lugging it around. It’s dead weight. And remember, it’s not only a matter of unloading a dreaded secret. It’s a matter of making room for God’s presence and peace. That’s the goal!

Second, try your hand at restorative justice. You might have heard of this term before; we try to use it in our school when one student offends another. Restorative justice is actually a legal term that means setting up a meeting between perpetrators and victims so perpetrators can learn and see firsthand how their sins and crimes have damaged people’s lives, in the hope they would feel some remorse. It might seem extreme but it’s a good thought for us. Often we distance ourselves from the ones we hurt by our lies, greed, and selfishness and as a result, have little empathy for those affected by our sins. But to look into the eyes of our victims, to stand face to face, to perceive the hurt, see the wounds, to feel what they felt from our unkindness, helps us to stand in their shoes, empathize, and repent. This is not about fostering crushing guilt for our sins and mistakes; this makes room for compassion. If we cannot do this physically, and often we cannot, we can do this in prayer. Imagine the other person sitting across from you and read their face and heart. Get into their skin and weep. Restorative justice is a good lenten exercise that keeps our heart from becoming hardened and indifferent to sin.

Third, consider the wisdom of the 14 generations. The 14 generations is a practice of the Iroquois nation. It is the notion that we give thanks for the contributions and sacrifices of the seven generations that came before us and paved the way for our existence and flourishing. And we make decisions and live our lives in a way that will benefit the next seven generations that follow us. If we baptize this beautiful practice, we relate it to our spiritual lives and the gift of faith. Lent is an opportunity to give thanks for the many, untold sacrifices and spiritual gifts that have been handed on to us by previous generations. We are not here on earth or here in church because of our own efforts alone. So many others have sacrificed and given of themselves to form us, provide for us, patiently correct us, and teach us prayer, faith, and virtue. They deserve our prayers of gratitude, even if we do not fully know who did what for us. We also have responsibility to provide for the souls who will come after us, here at Incarnate Word and in our families. Lent is a wonderful time to be still and reflect on whether or not we are providing for the spiritual legacy of generations to come. Are we continuing that venerable practice of leaving the Church and the world better than we found them; making it possible for our descendants to flourish and thrive and become saints of God? This is a good and holy stance to take in life and certainly one worth deepening in lent.

 

So, consider these three, offbeat suggestions as food for thought, especially if you find yourself stalling already in your lenten resolutions: Release your secret, seek restorative justice, and become a part of the 14 generations, always with the grace of God and for the Glory of his name. Amen.  

Lessons from the Lord (8th Sunday, Year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

More often than not, the season of Lent hits long before we get to this Sunday. As a result, we often miss out on these wonderful readings, which read like a mashup of a farmer’s almanac, some advice from a wise old neighbor, and timeless truth that is passed down from a parent to a child. The result is a series of practical and relevant teachings any one of us could use in our life right now.

First up is the Book of Sirach. “When a sieve is shaken, the husks appear; so do one’s faults when one speaks.” Translated: take care of the words you speak, and, in our case, the ones we text or post; they reveal who we really are, for good or for ill. Words are powerful things and we should be careful about how we use them. Our words express our thoughts and our thoughts show the type of person we are and the priorities we value most. In light of this heavenly truth-bomb, what do our words say about us?!

Next, we zoom in on the rapid-fire lessons Jesus is doling out in the gospel. The first one deals with teaching and being taught. “Can a blind man act as a guide to a blind man. Will they not both fall into a ditch?"  In other words, we cannot teach until we have learned. We accept this truth in many areas of life. We read the reviews of persons, products, and services online. We want the teachers in schools and universities to be qualified. When something important is on the line, we want it to be handled by a professional, a real expert. I don’t think anyone would take their car to a mechanic who boasted about having no “formal” training! No one wants a doctor or lawyer who learned everything they know by watching a few videos on Youtube! 

If this is true about matters of this world, how much more important for the things dealing with eternity?! We have a responsibility to carefully choose who teaches us about our faith and spiritual life. We need to take an active role in helping that aspect of our lives grow. It won’t happen by osmosis. Jesus promises his Holy Spirit to guide the Catholic Church with a teaching authority when it comes to matters of faith and morals. We don’t have to blindly figure out these things by ourselves. In fact, it is a really bad idea to try and be our own church and teacher. This divinely-guided authority is called the magisterium and it involves the Pope, Bishops, theologians and consultants. The duty of the magisterium is to make sure we can follow Jesus, our true teacher, in a time and culture that is very different than 2000 years ago. This teaching authority is a great gift but sometimes, out of pride, laziness or even scandal at the human weakness of our leaders, we rebel and try to make it on our own wisdom. Some questions to reflect on from this first lesson are: who is my teacher in spiritual matters? Am I teachable at all or do I always know best? Do I put in the effort to keep learning about my faith from reputable teachers or did my spiritual development stop in grade school, high school or college?

The second mini lesson deals with judgements. In one of his most well-known quips, Jesus says, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?” We are really good at seeing the imperfections of others while being completely blind to our own. Oftentimes our defects are far more serious but we obsess over someone’s much smaller fault. And, how little patience we have for the people who have the exact same imperfections as we do. Interestingly enough, Jesus doesn’t say we should stop caring about the splinter in our brother’s eye. But he demands we clean up our own vision first before we help them remove it. That way we can help others grow and improve in ways that are charitable, humble, and genuine.

The third lesson relates back to Sirach and teaches us not judge ourselves or others by appearance. "A good tree does not bear rotten fruit, nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit.” Our thoughts, words, and actions show who we really are. When a person does good things, time after time, we know this is a good person. When a person is continually stirring up trouble, creating division, pain, and chaos, we know that person is troubled. The fruit reveals what is in the heart. In the same way, it is not enough for us to say we are Catholics and then live as pagans. In fact, it is not enough to say we are saved. What we need to say is that we are in the daily process of being saved. Our actions must reflect God's saving love to us. Of course, we always depend upon the mercy and grace of God, but we have to respond to this mercy and grace by doing our best to live the Christian life. If we don’t, then our fruits will demonstrate the insincerity of our conversion. This hypocrisy of Christians, whether it be the laity in the world or the clergy in the churches, is the biggest turn-off to those who don’t yet follow Jesus. Our thoughts, words, and actions must be consistent with what we believe because our example affects others, either by inspiring or scandalizing. 

This Wednesday Lent finally begins. I need this Lent to work on these powerful lessons of Jesus. Perhaps you do too. Lent is a time for us to grow in our faith and let the Holy Spirit guide us through the prayer and teaching of our Church. Lent is a time to look into ourselves and ask the tough questions. Lent is a time to consider our living of the Christian life. Do our actions demonstrate Christ's continuing conversion in our lives? Do our thoughts, words, and actions direct others towards God? How hard am I working to remove that beam from my eyeballs first? If we are honest, we all have some work to do. So let us ask the Lord for his patience, mercy, and grace!

Never Stop Blessing and Forgiving, (7th Sunday, year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

To listen to the original talks on unilateral forgiveness, click here.

One of the great blessings of my priesthood was the opportunity to live and work with Bishop Hermann for two years at the Cathedral Basilica. Bishop Hermann, as many of you know, was also the pastor at Incarnate Word for something like 15 or 16 years. Part of my assignment was to help him, especially when he was running the Archdiocese after Cardinal Burke moved to Rome and before Archbishop Carlson arrived. We spent lots of time together going to confirmations, award ceremonies, prayer breakfasts, school masses, and so many other things I didn’t know Bishops did. (It made me certain I never want to be a bishop!) Bishop Hermann is a blessing to be around. He is a pretty energetic guy, completely genuine and down to earth. Best of all, he is endlessly joyful and optimistic. Sometimes I would just shake my head as he told stories, interrupted by constant laughter, about how he blessed a person who cursed, insulted, or rejected him. He seemed to be completely unfazed by the anger, hatred, and mean-ness he had to absorb as a bishop and representative of the Catholic Church. 

I really wanted to know his secret, how he not only kept a healthy blood pressure in the face of insults, unfair judgments, and slander but then even found joy in the midst of it all. These ugly, hurtful things had no effect on him even as they made my blood boil.

Bishop Hermann told me, and he would tell you, he wasn’t always this way. He had a nasty temper; he could fly off the handle and cause people to run for the hills. A defining moment came during the term of our 42nd president. Bishop Hermann noticed whenever he saw that person on TV or heard his voice on the radio, his heart would fill with dark thoughts, insults, and not-so-Christian words. His disdain for the president (whose policies and personal life were not the model of Christian values) was starting to eat away at Bishop Hermann. His peace and joy were being stolen away. 

By the grace of God, Bishop Hermann came across a talk by a minister on something called unilateral forgiveness. The concept is simple and it comes right out of the readings for this weekend. “Love your enemies”, “Pray for those who persecute you”, “turn the other cheek”, and “go the extra mile” when someone demands something from you. Most difficult of all, ask God to bless the people who speak badly of you and try to destroy you. My gut reaction whenever I hear this gospel is more like, “Are you kidding me!!”

First of all, we have to acknowledge that unilateral forgiveness is not a natural response to hatred and persecution. It is supernatural, which means we can only do it with the help of God’s grace. But God loves to spread that grace freely, Jesus says it will be poured into our lap with overwhelming generosity. All we have to do is ask. And we see lots of real people practicing this amazing grace of forgiveness and blessing: David, who shows mercy and respect to Saul, even as the King keeps trying to kill him out of envy. Jesus, who blesses his enemies and prays for them, even while they are crucifying him on the cross. The apostles and so many martyrs, pray for the very ones who kill them and die gruesome deaths with peaceful joy instead of bitter agony. 

There is great power and freedom in unilateral forgiveness. Imagine what it would feel like to lose your joy and peace when people are nasty or thoughtless or cut you off on the road, or gossip about you and spread rumors, or even deliberately try to hurt you and make your life difficult? What if you and I could float above the fray? What if our happiness was not affected by even the most terrible actions of other humans? That way of living and loving is not only possible but actually demanded by Jesus.

In the gospel, Our Lord forcefully tells his listeners and us, to stop judging the hearts of others and to respond to every instance of hatred with love, to curses with blessings. Most powerfully for me, is the line where Jesus says, “the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.” What a simple but challenging formula to live by! God gives us the equation he uses in dealing with humanity; it is directly controlled by us! Jesus couldn’t be any more open and transparent about it! So, when I curse the person who insults me or says untrue things about me, I am telling God, “give me the very same for all those times that I do wrong; let me be cursed.” Alternatively, when I am mistreated and judged and I pray that the offender be blessed and filled with every good thing, I am telling God, “give me that same blessing, even when I have done wrong and been a sinner.” Which one sounds better to you? I think the choice is pretty easy, even if doing it is much harder.

This command to love and forgive is not only timely but also essential for you and me. In the last few years, we have entered a period of tremendous anger, hatred, hurt, and division. Every single one of us here today has been hurt by others and we have also said and done things that have wounded someone, even if we didn’t mean to do so. We could all come up with a laundry list of legitimate grievances and reasons why other people are jerks and need to pay for what they have done wrong. But we too will be on someone’s list and as a famous quote goes, “an eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind.” Now is the time for mercy and it needs to begin with us. I cannot control when someone else decides to forgive or ask for mercy; but I do control what I do in these areas. The only way for our world, our families, and our community to begin healing is for you and me to love those who have hurt us and pray for those who have offended, with no exceptions! Someone has to initiate this process and there is no reason it cannot be us. Jesus expects nothing less from his followers! Every Christian should be defined by an attitude of mercy, charity, and forgiveness. With the help of his grace, it should become and instinctual way of treating others. 

If this is hard for you, start by forgiving your enemies just for the sake of your own happiness. God will still be happy to send the grace. Treat yourself! Stop holding grudges; they only punish you. Just like any skill, unilateral forgiveness takes practice to make perfect. Let’s start right now, at the offertory. When I am preparing the bread and wine at the altar, let’s place every person who has hurt us in any way on this altar. And then as I lift up the bread and the wine to heaven, let’s ask God to bless, in whatever way he wants, those same people.

To wrap up, let’s go back to my experience of living with Bishop Hermann. That man’s joy is real; it’s not some sort of superficial, naive, kumbaya-mentality. When he prays for those who have hurt him, he means it and he wants God to overwhelm them with blessings. I am nowhere near that level of unilateral forgiveness but I am working on it. Sometimes I catch myself asking God to give people a taste of what they’ve dumped on me. Then I lose my peace and joy. That vindictive attitude doesn’t fulfill me. Even my body pays a price by becoming tense and unsettled. But I thank God for those two years at the Cathedral. Because now I notice when I go down the road of bitterness and retribution. And with God’s help, I pray for my enemies, for those who don’t like me, who don’t respect me and I am overwhelmed with a deep, abiding peace that cannot be taken away, even by the worst of what people can do. It will work for you too but you must do it with the help of God’s grace. So, the next time you are wronged, offended, or disrespected, choose to forgive and bless the person responsible. As strange as it seems, you will call down blessings upon yourself and I guarantee you will not have to wait until heaven to experience the peace and joy God will send your way!

Different Members, Same Body (3rd Sunday, Year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

In the second reading today, the church of Corinth is in trouble. It is divided and fighting over things that ultimately didn’t matter, comparing who was greatest, and even taking each other to court. The Corinthians had become self-absorbed while striving to be top-dog in their community and they forgot what God actually cared about. In their quest for personal glory, in their striving to be admired, and wanting to be right, they put aside their responsibility to take care of other, less fortunate Christians. They were falling into a sort of spiritual jealousy by comparing their spiritual gifts and so-called credentials. They wanted to be prophets, healers, and wonder-workers. This competition was destructive and dividing the local church rather than bringing them together. Their focus on themselves was blinding them to the sufferings and needs all around them. So St. Paul uses the image of the human body to bring them back to reality. Just like you and me are composed of the proper parts that make us human, so too the church needs to have its parts in the right proportion and order so it can be effective. St. Paul wisely reminds them that not everyone can be a hand or foot or eye or ear. He also points out that each part of our body relies on the others to be fully alive and effective. The human body is not composed of any one thing but is the integration of all its parts. 

This basic biology lesson is just as obvious to us today as it was to the Corinthians. Equally simple and even more important is the spiritual lesson Paul was working to communicate. The people of Corinth and we, the people of Incarnate Word, need a reminder, that we are all part of one body, the body of Christ. Each part is equally important and necessary while also being different and beautiful. Not all of us fulfill the same function in the Church. Not every one is called to be a priest, teacher, catechist, minister, or leader. Others are needed to be intercessors, planners, cleaners, organizers, coaches, consolers, healers, and so many other ministries that make up our beautiful body, which is the Catholic Church. In fact, some of our most delicate and fragile members are the ones who cry out for our immediate attention. The sick, the elderly, the unborn, the abused, the poor, the persecuted, those who have nothing and are seen as nothing by the world, these are all parts of the Christ’s body which must be loved and respected without exception.  

The biggest threat for our parish right now, the number one tactic Satan is using very successfully, is to distract and divide people of good will. What is even more tragic is that we are not only falling into his trap, at times, we are even choosing to embrace it. St. Paul reminds the Corinthians, as different as they may be, they are still members of the same body. Last week we heard him teach a similar lesson that while we may have different gifts, they all come from the same Spirit. Our unity doesn’t come from all of us living exactly the same life, possessing the same gifts, or even thinking the same things when it comes to worldly concerns. Our community comes together not from anything we do or because of who we are, as good as those things can be, but it is formed because of Christ, in whose Name we were baptized and to whose Body we belong. This Unity is incredibly durable and resilient. If I remember that I am a member of Christ’s body and so are you, then we can even disagree on some pretty substantial things and still love and respect each other. Those disagreements cannot cancel the bond we share in Jesus. 

However, if I define myself or someone else in terms other than Christ, then my love, kindness, and respect is limited and our unity becomes extremely fragile. 

It’s no secret our parish and many other communities are deeply divided right now. St. Paul could have written the letter to the Corinthians directly to us. The details are a little different but the problem is the same. We are not fighting over who is the greatest healer or wonder-worker, we are fighting over politics and covid. We are evaluating one another and passing judgements about motivations and intentions, judgements only God can make. That would be bad enough, but the root cause of division and fighting is the fact that we have stopped defining ourselves, first and foremost, as members of Christ’s body. We have stopped looking at each other as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and members of his body. We instead have chosen to identify first as Republican or Democrat, pro-vaccine or no-vaccine, pro-Masks or no-Masks, etc…Our Christian identity is embraced but only so far as it fits in or stays out of the way of our personal ideology. And because of this approach, we see someone who disagrees on these topics as an enemy, a threat, someone who must be cast out or brought into line. It’s impossible to have unity and community because there are a million things that divide us but only one thing, one person who can unite us: Jesus Christ. He must always be front and center, even more so, when there is disagreement and difference!

This struggle hits home because we had to deal with it head-on within my family. Like many of you, there is a wide range of political views and opinions about the pandemic among the Schroeder’s. This summer, those differences were boiling over into nasty exchanges between us. It was sad, it was stupid, and it was unnecessary. After far too much time, energy, and good will had been thrown away, we had to make a choice: were we going to continue focussing on what divides us, or would we remember, that despite our differences, we are still one family who loves each other more than and despite, deeply diverging views on these topics? We knew the answer to that question and are working to live it in our interactions with each other. 

Incarnate Word needs to get back to focusing on what brings us together. We need to define ourselves as members of Christ’s body and see others as fellow members, equally loved and equally vital. We need to love the different members of this one body rather than succumbing to comparison, competition, and judgement. Sometimes feet smell, hands get dirty, ears get clogged, and eyes grow weak. That’s no excuse to cut them off or hate them. In fact we love them more and help them return to their full function and glory. 

Take some time this week to think about this incredible truth; we are part of the Body of Christ. We help make it holy, healthy, and capable of great things. What is our role? What is our place? Is it grounded in the knowledge that we are all members of Christ’s Body? How might we be holding back or even handicapping another member right now? Are we willing to see ourselves and others, first and foremost, as members of Christ’s Body and let that truth overpower the differences between us? 

Unity is not something we accomplish or make. It happens when we become part of something larger and better than ourselves and submit our egos to a greater good than being right or being in control. May God give us the grace to regain our focus on what is truly most important, the truth that saves and unites us all, “in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, we are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it.”

Deeply Different, Profoundly One (2nd Sunday, Year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

Our second reading, where St. Paul calls to mind the various spiritual gifts united in the one spirit, made me think of my experience, growing up with siblings. I don’t know if it is the same for you, but as a little child, I recall viewing my siblings most often in terms of what they could do for me. As an adult that would be incredibly selfish but I think we tend to be more self-centered as children and hopefully grow out of it. So, I viewed one of my brothers as the one to go to when I need someone to try out my horrible ideas, a certain sister to approach when a persuasive voice was needed in dealing with mom or dad, and kept a running tally of which siblings you could count on to keep a secret and not snitch on you to the parents, even when the heat was turned up. Since that time, one of the great joys in my life has been the deepening of friendship with my siblings as each of us has matured, developed distinct spiritual and professional gifts, and grown into our own unique personality. I’ve seen the same dynamic St. Paul describes to the Corinthians as it has become a reality in our family in terms of richness and diversity but covered in unity. 

In our family, the next child after me, Megan, has a gift for telling a great story and a tremendous work ethic, Greg has the quickest wit of anyone I know and a desire to learn always, Danny can talk to anyone and sell anything, Michelle follows her convictions without fear, Monica cares for everyone all the time without seeking any thanks, Maria is thoughtful and deliberate and never rushes into anything, Rebecca has this funny way of looking at the world and making people laugh and feel accepted, Margaret is fiercely loyal and is the one person you would want at your side going into battle, Lizzy is endlessly curious and intelligent, Stephen is truly patient and has suffered many things throughout his life without self pity or complaint, Sarah is innocently optimistic and never gives up no matter what the odds, and Faith is content with simple pleasures and comfortable in her own skin. 

One of things I marvel at is the fact that we’ve all come from the same parents. Such variety, such a range of personalities and gifts, united by the same source. And while there is such a difference between us, each of our unique qualities can be a source of joy, strength, and growth to the whole family when we put them at the service of one another. When my family is at its best, that’s exactly what we do; when there is conflict, its often because we are withholding our gifts from each other and only using them for ourselves.

St. Paul was reminding the Corinthians that God created the human race and his holy church to be alive and bubbling with many different spiritual gifts. There is only one Holy Spirit but that spirit is so rich that his life will manifest itself in an unbelievable range of spiritual personalities and blessings. Whenever we try to mold every person into a single style or force everyone to adopt a set of preferred qualities, we risk stifling the work and creativity of the Holy Spirit. The same is true when we fail to develop our spiritual gifts or hesitate to share them with others, both here in the parish and out in the world. None of us have everything we need to thrive and flourish. In a maddening but wise way, God made us interdependent and connected; not independent and isolated. We enrich each other’s lives as we discover, then share, the gifts we have received from his Holy Spirit.

Sometimes it is easier to see the gifts of others rather than our own. In those moments, it is so important to turn to prayer and to our good friends for help in seeing what role we serve in God’s family. Each and every one of us has something to contribute; each and every one of us plays a unique part that no one else can fill. God is extravagantly generous and has given some manifestation of his Holy Spirit to every person. As long as we remain on the sidelines, our church, our families, our friends, and we ourselves are missing out.

One other thing we should acknowledge about the Holy Spirit and his gifts; they are extremely messy! What I mean is that the work of the Holy Spirit and the ways he leads and inspires are often in conflict with our desire for things and people to be predictable, controllable, and easily defined. This doesn’t mean that the gifts of the Holy Spirit are things like chaos, anarchy, or upheaval, but they do move beyond human wisdom and simple calculation. What brings unity to a family, to a parish, and to our entire Church is not that everyone thinks, acts, speaks, or looks exactly the same. What unites us is the fact that we are all children of the same heavenly father, our mother is the Church, and we have all received some share of the same Holy Spirit. That gift will enrich our lives but must also be shared freely for ourselves and others to reach our fullest potential.

If someone asked us today to list our spiritual gifts, how would we respond? Would we be able to answer at all? If yes, can we honestly say those gifts are being developed and shared? Or do they stay hidden and locked away out of fear or selfishness? If we do not yet know our spiritual gifts, are we spending time in prayer asking for understanding and illumination? Do we have a friend who knows us well and can help identify the role and life of the Holy Spirit they see at work within us? 

Incarnate Word has been blessed by the generous sharing of so many spiritual gifts over the years. In my time here, I have been amazed at what I’ve seen and the many ways the Holy Spirit already works in so many of you. But there is potential for so much more. Come Holy Spirit, bring your gifts to life in each and every one us! Amen.

Baptism of the Lord (2022)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

A fundamental plot for many movies involves the painful journey of a child seeking to prove themselves to their parents and win their affection. Most sad and striking is the case of an adult child who still feels unworthy or unapproved by mom or dad. One movie that follows this theme is “Finding Nemo”, an animated Disney film about a Clownfish named Marlin and his young son, Nemo. Marlin is emotionally scarred from a barracuda attack that claimed his wife and most of their fish roe. Only he and little Nemo survived this incident and now, he is completely overprotective of Nemo. His hovering causes Nemo great embarrassment and compels him to try and prove himself to his dad. He wants his dad to believe he is strong and capable and does not need coddling, Nemo accepts a dare from friends to swim out to a ship just past the reef drop off. He bravely swims into the open sea, which his father has taught him is dangerous, touches the boat and turns back in triumph. However, a scuba diver nets Nemo before he can reach safety. The rest of the movie tells the story of father and son trying to reunite with each other amidst danger and uncertainty and ends with both Nemo and his father triumphing over their fears and living in the joy of knowing the other’s love and admiration. 

    This intimate moment, a father’s acceptance of and delight in his son takes place in the gospel today. Jesus goes to be baptized by John in the river Jordan. In this moment, the first public appearance we know about Christ as an adult, he is affirmed by his heavenly Father. Before he does any ministry, before he works miracles or preaches beautiful sermons, God approves him, loves him, and lets the world know that he is the beloved son. He does not have to prove himself or do something to earn the Father’s affection. He has had it from the moment he existed.

This complete and unconditional acceptance of our heavenly Father is not limited to Jesus only. It is offered to each and every human that has ever existed, without exception! Can you believe that we become beloved sons and daughters of God with our baptism? God looks at each of us in a unique, personal, never-to-be-repeated way and says, “you are mine and I love you in a way I have never loved anyone else!” That’s why the Church wants people to have the opportunity to be baptized, even babies, as soon as possible.

But how do we often relate to God? Not as beloved children but frightened ones. Many times we behave as if we must earn his love, make him like us or at least tolerate us. We are afraid he might at any moment, decide he doesn’t really love us any more or grow weary of us. Or, we know in our heads that God loves us completely but that knowledge hasn’t made it down to our hearts yet. It doesn’t transform the way we live, the way we think, the way we love. BUT IT SHOULD!!!!

Perhaps this disconnect happens because we sometimes experience conditional love from people who approve of us mainly because we fill a need or make them happy. Sadly some of you have had this experience in your families or with friends. Perhaps some of us even treat people this way. We make others earn our approval or affection. Conditional love is something we humans inflict on each other, but it is something foreign to God. He is always all in! He has loved and cherished you from the second you began to exist and you will never escape his mind and heart!

You and I don’t deserve the Father’s Love; He gives it freely and unconditionally. There is nothing in the world we could ever do to deserve that divine approval; it has already been given. And yet, how sad we usually interact with God as if it were up to us and our actions to make him like us. As if it were in our hands to do enough to persuade God to send a little love our way. No wonder we beat ourselves up so much when we sin and fail and realize our weaknesses!

Think about this:

What would look different in your life if you accepted the fact that God loved you unconditionally? How would it change your perspective? Would it make you more daring in living out your faith, knowing you always had a loving God at your side? Imagine the freedom that would come with knowing in your bones that no matter what you did, successful or not, you can not lose the love and approval of God! How might it change the way you treated other people? Realizing that the One who is madly in love with you is also loving them in the same way? Would it add passion to our faith, our prayer, our daily lives?

I want you to know you are beloved sons and daughters, even if you don’t feel it or realize it yet. You are alive because God loves you, thinks of you and wants you here. Every moment of every day he is thinking of you specifically, he is smiling and crying and feeling everything you do, all with the perfection of the one is being and beauty and every other transcendent good thing.

In some areas of life, you might feel you are just another anonymous member of your company or one of many ordinary people in your town. But where the Lord is concerned, you stand out as the particular person you are. God does not deal with people as faceless members of a collective. He calls and loves one particular person at a time, as each individual comes to him. But then that means you yourself—not your Church or even just your family, but you—need to come to the Lord, to face him, to know him, to love him, and to let him love you. Come as yourself, as you are, here and now; no one can do that for you! Receive the Father’s Love!

How it must have felt for Christ as he came out of that water and heard the voice of his Father! If you have never heard that voice, I pray for you now, I want let you know that God is crying out those same words every day, all the time. He wants us to know of his mad love for us, that is why he sent his beloved son in the 1st place, to shatter our deafness, indifference, and unbelief.

Let’s listen, let’s believe, let’s receive this good news and then run out of here to share it with others. Amen.

Holy Family (2021)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

One of the vivid childhood memories I have was riding in the family van with my siblings. Inevitably, if the ride was longer than a few minutes, we would try to unbuckle our seat belts under the pretense that we had to get something off the floor or get more comfortable. My parents did their best to make us buckle up but there was always at least one child unrestrained during any given time. The excitement happened when my parents would have to slam on the brakes. The kid without a seatbelt would fly forward as a living reminder why seatbelts save lives and physics never takes a vacation. Instinctively, whenever a quick stop was needed, mom or dad’s arm swung out to try and restrain the dead meat headed their way at terminal velocity. This reaction is not unique to my mom and dad. Parents are wired to protect their children in all things. That instinct is part of the beauty and security of family life. Intuitively, parents know they must safeguard the bodies, minds, and souls of their children from anything or anyone who would seek to do them harm. 

We see this protective role carried out in the Holy Family as Jesus slowly developed from tiny baby to mighty messiah and king of kings. Joseph is warned in a dream to get out of Dodge before Herod can murder Jesus. So they go into exile in Egypt until the danger passes. In today’s gospel, we can hear the anxiety and alarm in Mary’s voice after the spent three days searching for Jesus. How many worst case scenarios were running through her head as she tried to find him? His safety and well-being were always on the mind of Mary and Joseph and Jesus respects this, as we hear that he returns to Nazareth after the incident and was obedient to them and their decisions as parents. 

But families don’t just provide protection from evil and harm, as important as that is. They are also the primary place where we find the nourishment needed to grow and develop as human beings. A healthy family doesn’t just lock themselves in a castle and ride out the storm that happens in society. Good parents are constantly looking for what will feed the minds, bodies, and souls of their children. Often they do so at great personal sacrifice. But that is what love is all about. Being willing to give up something good for oneself so that your beloved can flourish and be happy. 

I am always amazed and edified at the dedication of parents to work long hours and multiple jobs for years on end so their kids can go to the finest schools, wear nice clothes, and generally want for nothing. So many moms and dads go without enough sleep so their children can participate in sports, clubs, and many other extracurricular activities which produce a well-rounded person. If you were ever been sick as a child, you know that moms and dads will do anything and everything to make sure their beloved son or daughter has whatever is needed to get better. Parents are motivated by love to give their children a better life than they had, even if that means forgoing things and experiences they might want for themselves.

So much time and effort is focussed on protecting the earthly lives of our families and providing for the immediate needs of mind and body. Sometimes, after addressing these most apparent concerns, there is little energy left to consider what is needed for the growth and protection of the souls of those in our homes. And yet, of the three parts that make up the human person, the soul is the one thing that will never die. Far too often it is also the part that gets whatever is leftover, if it gets anything at all in the life of an active family.

It breaks my heart as I carry out my priestly ministry and see that fewer and fewer families view the regular practice of their faith as a core value. Sunday Mass and family prayer time is something they do if they get around to it or have some extra time on a given weekend. Otherwise, children are told their family is just too busy to go to mass. Often, weekly worship together at Mass is sacrificed for games, tournaments, practices, and other activities that will come to an end after high school or college if not sooner. But each and every child’s soul will live forever. Within our families, are we making the appropriate investment in that part of our loved one’s life as we are for other areas which are ultimately temporary? I find it sad that I have to encourage children to ask their parents to help them practice their faith and get to Mass. Can we imagine if scores of children in this parish had to ask their moms and dads to please feed them or take them to school because otherwise it wouldn’t happen? And yet this is what is going on spiritually in the lives of so many families.

Another heartbreaker is observing children and young people who have the finest electronics, cars, clothes, and education but who have very little of their parents’ undivided attention and affection. Mom and Dad are working so hard to give them things that they have forgotten to give themselves to their children. One dad told me that his children have taught him that love is spelled T-I-M-E and there is no substitute. 

Good, healthy, holy families don’t just happen automatically or by chance. They grow and become such because of deliberate thought, effort, and cooperation. Everyone plays a part; it is not just on parents. Moms and Dads are not the slaves of their children just as children are not the slaves of their parents. Families are meant to be communities of love. They should be defined by respect, care, holiness, safety, and nourishment. From the moment every child is born, parents begin making plans to keep them safe, give them a great education, provide them with opportunities, and help them have the best life possible here on earth. That is good and natural and commendable. But we must also make sure we are doing the same for the souls of those entrusted to our care because that part of our loved ones will live forever, either in heaven or in hell, depending on the choices made. 

This will require the same dedication, sacrifices, and difficult choices as providing for mind and body. Sometimes people will think us odd for our commitment to care for the soul. Sometimes our children or our spouse might be unenthusiastic about addressing the spiritual needs of family life. Even as a priest, there are times where the last thing I want to do is pray or offer Mass. We’ve all felt that way before but we work through it. Sometimes we might be the only ones leading the charge to care for the souls in our home. That’s not ideal but it shouldn’t stop us from doing the right thing. We can’t underestimate the witness of our good example and the ways God may be planting seeds for the future faith of our loved ones.

We are here today because of the love, nourishment, and protection of our families. They are not perfect but we owe them a debt of gratitude for all we have received in that holy community. Whatever our role in our family right now, as child or parent, let’s ask Jesus, Mary and Joseph for the grace to care for our loved ones’ minds, bodies, and souls in the best way possible!