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These lenten days and weeks are busy for all of us, I know! As a priest, this is like the playoffs with the added confessions here at IW and at our neighboring parishes and schools. There are also prayer breakfasts and days of recollection and retreats and bible studies to help out with, all leading to the big kahuna, we call Holy Week! During lent, there are times when I can barely keep my eyes open for the second half of the day! In those moments, I am reminded of something I read, called “The 5 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.” I am sharing them with you in case they might prove helpful down the road, hopefully not during this homily!
#5, “They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.” #4,“This is just a 15-minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.” #3, “Wow! I guess I left the top off the White-out. You got here just in time.” #2, “Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?” And #1, if all else fails, raise your head slowly and say, In Jesus’ Name, Amen!”
We all tend to be masters of excuses and rationalization, especially when it comes to lent and our resolutions. We usually start off with a bang, with an impressive list of wills and will-nots that would make the pope sweat. After a day or two, we are pretty proud of ourselves and maybe even start designing the holy card they can use at our canonization. Then we hit the two-week mark and often the wheels start to fall off. Of course we mean well and have great intentions but we rarely emerge from these 40 days having kept our word to the Lord. One of the reasons for our failure is that we focus on the negative. “I won’t watch tv”, “I won’t eat sweets”, “I won’t …(you fill in the blank). This is all well and good but more often than not, in focusing so much on the negative, we don’t spend enough time reflecting on what comes next, what we are replacing it with. When we fall into this pattern, we are digging holes without ever planting anything in them.
The point of our penance is not so much what we get rid of, although that is important; it’s really about what we want to replace it with, namely God and virtue. Take that principle and apply it to your resolutions this year. If you gave up ice cream, does that sacrifice make you think of God more often? If so, great! Keep up the good work! But if it just makes you fixate on the next time you have a huge bucket of Haagen Daas in front of you, move on to another penance!
Truth be told, the most profitable penances focus on the positive, on a greater good for ourselves and others, a goal that brings out the best version of ourselves for the glory of God. For example, “I want to cut down on screen time, so I can spend more time with God and be present to my family and friends around me.” “I am going to give away more of my time and money to help others and put them first.” “I am going to honesty evaluate my spending and consumption according to needs vs wants so my desires do not rule me and I can set my sights on the one thing, the one person who truly satisfies!” These are the sort of resolutions that really make a difference over the course of a lenten season.
So, with the positive in mind, let me suggest three creative and off-beat penances for Lent that you might consider, especially if your resolve has already begun to waver on the resolutions you chose 10 days ago.
First, release a secret from your past which weighs you down and causes you shame. All of us have a history, much of it good but some of it bad. Very often, the darkest moments of our life are known only to God and ourselves. We form habits of self-hatred for our mistakes and we even wonder if God can love that part of our past which hurt him and others. That secret festers and creates a wound that never quite heals. Use this lent to let go of whatever secret you carry. Bring it to God in the sacrament of confession. Let him take it from you and shine his light upon it. If you are nervous about sharing something like that with a priest you know, then find out where they are having a parish mission or extra confessions with a visiting priest who you will never see again. That’s what I would do! Perhaps, after you receive absolution, you may feel called to share that secret with a close friend or counselor who will help you continue the healing process. Whatever the case, stop lugging it around. It’s dead weight. And remember, it’s not only a matter of unloading a dreaded secret. It’s a matter of making room for God’s presence and peace. That’s the goal!
Second, try your hand at restorative justice. You might have heard of this term before; we try to use it in our school when one student offends another. Restorative justice is actually a legal term that means setting up a meeting between perpetrators and victims so perpetrators can learn and see firsthand how their sins and crimes have damaged people’s lives, in the hope they would feel some remorse. It might seem extreme but it’s a good thought for us. Often we distance ourselves from the ones we hurt by our lies, greed, and selfishness and as a result, have little empathy for those affected by our sins. But to look into the eyes of our victims, to stand face to face, to perceive the hurt, see the wounds, to feel what they felt from our unkindness, helps us to stand in their shoes, empathize, and repent. This is not about fostering crushing guilt for our sins and mistakes; this makes room for compassion. If we cannot do this physically, and often we cannot, we can do this in prayer. Imagine the other person sitting across from you and read their face and heart. Get into their skin and weep. Restorative justice is a good lenten exercise that keeps our heart from becoming hardened and indifferent to sin.
Third, consider the wisdom of the 14 generations. The 14 generations is a practice of the Iroquois nation. It is the notion that we give thanks for the contributions and sacrifices of the seven generations that came before us and paved the way for our existence and flourishing. And we make decisions and live our lives in a way that will benefit the next seven generations that follow us. If we baptize this beautiful practice, we relate it to our spiritual lives and the gift of faith. Lent is an opportunity to give thanks for the many, untold sacrifices and spiritual gifts that have been handed on to us by previous generations. We are not here on earth or here in church because of our own efforts alone. So many others have sacrificed and given of themselves to form us, provide for us, patiently correct us, and teach us prayer, faith, and virtue. They deserve our prayers of gratitude, even if we do not fully know who did what for us. We also have responsibility to provide for the souls who will come after us, here at Incarnate Word and in our families. Lent is a wonderful time to be still and reflect on whether or not we are providing for the spiritual legacy of generations to come. Are we continuing that venerable practice of leaving the Church and the world better than we found them; making it possible for our descendants to flourish and thrive and become saints of God? This is a good and holy stance to take in life and certainly one worth deepening in lent.
So, consider these three, offbeat suggestions as food for thought, especially if you find yourself stalling already in your lenten resolutions: Release your secret, seek restorative justice, and become a part of the 14 generations, always with the grace of God and for the Glory of his name. Amen.
