First of all, I want to wish all of you a very merry Christmas! This is my favorite time of the year for the simple reason that, even though we live in a crazy world, most people are able to see the beauty and peace of Christmas and share that spirit with each other. A little taste of peace on earth is what makes this season so special. I hope you and your family experience this for yourselves in these holy days!
You may have heard the story about the husband who was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him, “this Christmas there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in in the blink of an eye.” The husband took note of her words and on Christmas morning his wife found a small, beautifully wrapped package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Needless to say, funeral arrangements for this man are pending!
While this story is is funny for the reason that we can hardly imagine someone so foolish to actually give such a gift, the whole process of giving presents can be surprisingly stressful! Why? If you are the one buying and presenting a gift, there can be intense self-doubt and worry. What if they don’t like what I got them? What if it’s the wrong size and they are offended? What if this hatchimal or gigapet or Xbox game is so last year? What if someone else already got them the same thing? What if they hate my gift and throw it away once I leave? Did I just see a little eye-roll as they said “aw, thanks”?
Receiving a gift isn’t necessarily much easier. In fact, I personally find it the more stressful part, especially when you have to unwrap your gift in front of a whole crowd, which in my case, is the norm rather than the exception. As you are tearing that wrapping paper and sliding off the ribbons, subconsciously you are thinking, “what am I going to do if this box contains a fruitcake?” How excited should I be for this pair of socks so I can find the middle road between bumbling idiot and spoiled brat? Even when someone gets you an incredible gift, one that couldn’t be any more perfect, there is that nagging voice in the back of your head, worrying that the giver might not think you appreciate all the care and thought that went into your present. As a recipient you never want to disappoint the other person by appearing ungrateful or insincere.
This is certainly something all of us have experienced at one time or another as both givers and receivers. Another priest shared how he found peace with the whole process of giving gifts through the wisdom of a friend from Africa. This friend told him, “You are trying to do someone else’s job. Do your own. Your task is to give the gift. Let them take care of receiving it.”
He gave two examples from his own experience. In Africa the women at the parish work for many days preparing a Christmas feast. All the food is beautiful, tasty, and set out perfectly. At last the day arrives, the doors open, and minutes later the whole presentation looks like a tornado blew through; the food has been devoured, the guests happy but oblivious to the hours and days that went into its preparation. This does not bother the women, he said. It is up to the people to receive it in whatever way seems right. The women’s part of the exchange is to make the gift ready, and they love doing it.
The second example came from a local custom to bring a present to the person you are visiting. He walked the long journey to visit his father, who happened to love roast beef. This son brought along a big chunk of roast and put it on the table when they got there. His father said, “no thank you, I do not eat that any more.” His son was not bothered. “I did my part,” he said, “and my father did his.” All was well.
If giving gifts stresses us out, we might keep this wisdom in mind. As we walk through the store or wander online to find a gift for that special someone, let’s offer them up to God in prayer and blessing. And then see what jumps out or makes us smile, or seems to be perfect for them. And then be at peace. Our job is to open our heart and give. We let the other person take care of receiving it.
God has already done this with us so many times. He keeps us in his eternal mind and infinitely loving heart every moment of every day from the beginning of the ages. And the gift that came to his mind for each and every one of us, the perfect gift that all of us needed was his Son, born helpless and innocent, wrapped in human flesh so we wouldn’t be afraid. So many people fail to receive God’s gift graciously and they say “No thanks” to the Christ child. But that doesn’t stop God from giving that gift over and over again to every human person. He wants everyone to have a chance to receive the perfect gift. The Christ Child is not born in order to be accepted. He is the gift of God’s immense love for us. God’s graciousness cannot be stopped by our ingratitude. This Christmas and every Christmas reminds us that God never stops giving that perfect gift of his Son. May we pause for moment tonight/today to receive that gift with humble gratitude and ask pardon for the times we have not.
