Have you ever experienced a strong sense of anxiety because you are afraid you might be missing out on a great party or similar event? Have you ever had a nagging fear that maybe your friends are doing something without you? This feeling can put you in a terrible mood, it can lead you to check your phone compulsively for messages, and many people will get on social media to see what their friends are doing to make sure they didn’t miss something incredible. This experience, this feeling, has a name. Even though I think it sounds more like a cartoon character, it is no joke. The word is FoMo (F-O-M-O) and it is an acronym for the phrase “Fear of Missing Out.” FoMo is something that most, if not all of us, have felt at some time or another. It is something that teens and young people are especially familiar with because of the ways social media pervades modern life. And while the word “FoMo” might be something relatively recent, the feeling is as old as the human race. All of us hate to miss out on something good or interesting. That’s why people rubberneck on the highway after an accident. They don’t need to see it but wouldn’t it be terrible to drive past something that everyone might be talking about? That’s why people run out to scoop up great deals on things they don’t really need or can’t quite afford. It would be wrong to pass up such a bargain! Or, some of my friends are going to do something I don’t enjoy but I want to go anyway because I can’t stand the idea of them having fun without me. I could give more examples but you get the idea.
The reality is that people lose sleep over this stuff. FoMo keeps many people from enjoying the good things they actually have while they worry about something that may not even happen. Truthfully, most of things we fear missing out on, while they seem important at the time, really aren’t that significant.
A good question for us to think about in this brief Advent season is this: Are we as worried about missing out on spiritual opportunities as we are about social ones? Are we paying as much attention to the invitation God is sending us to spend time with him as we are to the invites and evites from our friends and family? Are we equally anxious about missing out on the incredible deal to receive forgiveness of our sins as we are about something on Black Friday or Cyber Monday?
Honestly, probably not. Most of us, myself included, often have FoMo over the wrong things and as a result, we miss out on what is truly important and worthwhile. Fear of missing out on trivial things leads us to become neurotic and needy. It makes us paranoid and suspicious and makes it hard to enjoy the blessings we have.
By comparison, when we have a holy fear of missing out on the good things God wants to give us, we become more grateful and in tune with the gifts we have received. When we are on the lookout for God and his blessings in our daily lives, amazing things can happen. We can find goodness in situations where others only see hardship. We begin to see a silver lining in places of defeat, disappointment, or hurt. There is nothing negative that can’t be turned around or redeemed or blessed by God.
Fear of missing out on the right things is the beginning of holiness. It’s what propelled the saints to make the most of their gifts, their lives and do their part to make the Church and the world a little bit better.
Consider the spiritual opportunities you have right now. Did you know that we have multiple options to experience God’s complete forgiveness in the sacrament of confession? Or that we can receive the Eucharist any day of the week at daily Mass here or at any one of the many parishes nearby? Each of us has the chance to show God’s love to the people around us with a kind word of praise or affirmation, a mindful act of kindness, or a thoughtful prayer for someone who is hurting. These, and many more, are the occasions we have to love, forgive, and grow for our benefit and the good of others.
Advent is an opportunity stop and think about what it is that gives us FoMo. What are we afraid of missing out on? Even if they aren’t the correct things, there is still time in this beautiful season to make things right, to prepare the way for the Lord when he arrives anew in our hearts this Christmas. May we fear missing out on the proper things, the most important things this advent season so we can grow in holiness and receive the abundant blessings God wants to share with us.
