Every child has heard some version of the following lines from their parents and no matter how it was said, we all disagreed with every fiber of our being. “This is for your own good”, “One day you will thank me”, “This hurts me more than it hurts you”! Perhaps we received this reply when we asked if we could have dessert instead of dinner, go over to a friend’s house instead of doing homework, get out of being grounded, or simply wanted to go to bed without brushing our teeth. Despite what we thought at the time, these experiences of tough love came from people who cared about us, who wanted the very best for us, and who refused to let us settle for less. These people were our parents, teachers, mentors, clergy and true friends.
In my own experience, there were many instances of this. One in particular involved my spelling homework in grade school. Every week, I was expected to learn 28 new words with an exam on Friday. In preparation for this weekly test, Mom also required me to use the word in a sentence and not simply memorize the spelling. So I was supposed to write 28 sentences every week. Did my mother think I was Charles Dickens? I was lazy and hated to write so this was pure torture. At first I listed all 28 words and added the phrase, “are my spelling words” to complete a single sentence using all of them. That apparently was not acceptable. What followed was a weekly battle between me and my mom to write as few sentences as possible while using as many words at a time to form a tortured phrase of limited literary value. Here are a few: The creature ran in the evening to conceal the cheese (4). The storage of a harvest of pig hearts was in the port of a harbor (5). In the colonial days, pioneers hustled to get several level, equal, settlements (7).
My poor mother had to put up with this nonsense for years, fighting with me to accept my spelling homework and actually use the words in a way that was coherent. She could have said spelling the words correctly was good enough but she wanted more than just rote memorization for me. At the time I thought she was cruel and crazy; why did I need to understand how to spell and use so many words!! In the end I am so grateful she challenged me to do more than I was willing to settle for. In my work and ministry, I use my words all the time and I am forever grateful!
In our gospel today, we have a rich young man who is truly good. He has kept the commandments from his youth and he is wondering if there is something more he can do. He is not just trying to get by with the bare minimum like I was. It would have been easy for Jesus to look at him and say, “you are doing better than just about everyone else these days.” But God never compares us to other people; He looks at us with a love that acknowledges our goodness but also calls us to be better as we seek to follow him. Jesus desires the absolute best for each of us, whatever that is in our individual circumstance. The gospel today is about Love’s challenge, about God wanting the very best of what is possible and not allowing us to settle for less, which we are so often content to do.
The secret to seeking this holy excellence is found in the first reading from wisdom. King Solomon reigned over the most prosperous and peaceful eras the Chosen People ever experienced. The Lord appeared to the young king and promised him anything he desired. Imagine the thoughts that must have gone through Solomon’s mind. Should he ask for unlimited power? Endless riches? Ceaseless pleasure? Perfect health? Certainly we would rank these requests high on our list. But instead of these, he begs the Lord for something much more subtle and profound. He asks for Wisdom, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and all the other gifts followed.
So what is this wisdom that Solomon received? It is really the combination of three traits working together in perfect unity. True wisdom is the blending of knowledge, experience, and good judgment to inform every decision a person makes. This harmony of knowledge, experience, and good judgment makes a person wise and able to see things for what they are, both good and bad. A wise person has perspective when it comes to setbacks and disappointments, he knows what to fight for and when to concede. The people who possess wisdom know the right order for living, how to make good choices, avoid evil, and most importantly, how to have the right priorities. With wisdom, we are willing to ask God, what more can I do, what needs to be let go of, to be closer to you?
A truly wise person can live with incredible wealth or complete poverty and still be happy. And whether they find themselves surrounded by friends or under siege by enemies, they still find peace. And in any other circumstance you can think of, good or bad, the wise person has all they really need because their strength and joy and comfort come first from the Lord, who never breaks his promises and who never stops protecting those who call upon him in faith.
Our readings today require us to look inward and ask if we are truly wise. Have we asked God for his gift of knowledge, experience, and good judgement to live within us? Are we humble enough to accept the lessons that wisdom teaches us, lessons that often require letting go of something good to receive something even better? Can we believe that if we seek his wisdom then everything else that matters will be given in abundance? Or will we falter like the rich young man, whom Jesus saw and loved and invited to draw one step closer to perfection and eternal life? Will we go away sad because we cannot escape the power which worldly things have over us? Are we willing to settle for less instead of letting go and striving for the best?
To possess wisdom and live wisely is not easy, in fact on our own we won’t get there. But with the help of God’s grace, learning from him in daily prayer, he will share this wisdom freely. May we be wise enough to put the things of this world in their proper place and when Christ invites us to trust and follow him, may we joyfully answer yes, without sadness or hesitation.
