If we didn’t know the background of today’s first reading, we might be tempted to think of Elijah was a melodramatic crybaby, throwing a spiritual temper tantrum. The whole story is a bit more crazy. Immediately before the passage we heard, Elijah triumphed over 450 prophets of Baal in an epic showdown of whose God was real. In front of all the people, who were waiting to decide which god they would follow, Elijah was vindicated in a dramatic display which left no room for doubt. After God showed his favor with heavenly pyrotechnics, Elijah ordered the crowd to destroy the 450 prophets for serving a false god. This victory infuriated the evil queen Jezebel and she sent a message to the prophet that she would never rest until he was hunted down and wiped off the earth. So Elijah did what any reasonable person would do when a powerful, bloodthirsty queen wants to destroy them; he ran off into the desert to hide. But Elijah was no Bear Grylls! After just one day in the barren, unfriendly wilderness, he was afraid, hungry, tired, and began to despair. “Just take my life,” he exclaimed, and lays down to die. God had a better plan and sent an angel with food and a message: “Eat, drink, and get ready for your journey”. Elijah enjoys the tasty food and refreshing drink but then gets overwhelmed and lays down again, defeated. The pestering angel comes back and makes Elijah eat and drink some more and with this encouragement, he was able to journey the 40 days and 40 nights it took to cross the desert and reach the safety of God’s holy mountain. Something he thought was impossible became doable after God nourished him and encouraged him!
I had a similar, although much less dramatic experience last week. Don’t worry, it didn’t involve mortal combat with prophets serving false gods! It was something seemingly much more benign. The Archbishop sent us a memo about a recent priest appointment he made for one of our older monsignors to serve the clergy who are retired and in their 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. Currently there about 210 diocesan priests in St. Louis and these are the ones, like Fr. Braun, Fr. Bauer, and myself who serve our parishes, say mass, hear confessions, celebrate weddings, lead funerals, and so on. Of these 210 priests, the memo casually mentions that 143 of them are 70 yrs old or older! I started thinking about what that meant in the next handful of years, when many of my esteemed older priest brothers will start meeting God face to face! How will so few priests serve so many people??!! I am ashamed to admit it but the more I thought about these numbers in the Archbishop’s memo, the more I felt like Elijah who just wanted to lay down and call it quits.
Thankfully, my prayer and the scriptures have been helping me get past that first reaction of panic and despair. God is not asking me to figure how to solve the problem of fewer and fewer priests. He is not asking me to plan for what my life and my calendar will look like 5 or 10 years from now. What he does promise is that he will give me and each of us, the encouragement and nourishment we need to get through today. And then we will wake up and do it again tomorrow. And the day after that. And repeat until we reach the place God wants us to be. This is how Elijah was able to cross that terrible, dangerous desert and arrive alive and well, at God’s holy mountain, long after he had reached what he thought was the limit of his strength and ability.
While the details of your story and your struggles might be different than mine or Elijah’s, haven’t you felt the same way at some point? Like you cannot go another step or do one more thing? Like you have tried to do your best for God and others and yet it is still not enough? In my seven years here, I have been amazed and inspired by so many of your stories of dedication and love. Some of you quietly serve as caregivers for an elderly parent or a child with profound needs. Others are exhausted from working multiple jobs to provide for your family, still others are at their wits end as a single parent, or a first-time parent and you can’t help but wonder if you can do all that is asked of you. Even our young people struggle with overwhelming feelings of anxiety and unworthiness, from never-ending comparisons and crushing expectations while still putting on a brave face for those around them.
Our readings during these weeks of reflection on the Eucharist encourage us with the reminder that God wants to feed us, lead us, and be with us as he guides us to a place of spiritual contentment and safety. The Scriptures say to you and me that God is faithful and capable. What seems like too much and too far will be conquered step by step, day by day in little acts of faithful prayer, service, and humble obedience. Perhaps the biggest danger for us right now is to try and look too far ahead, to attempt to control and plan according to our own wisdom and resources. Certainly when we do this, what God asks is beyond our ability and comprehension. Despair soon follows.
The remedy is found in the Eucharist, which is the fulfillment of the food and drink given to Elijah for his journey. It is a long road from this life to heaven and much of it feels like the desert: unknown, frightening, difficult, and sometimes endless. True devotion to the Eucharist involves letting God lead us, letting God teach us, letting God feed us for what we need today. And then doing that over and over again until we reach where he wants us to be. Perhaps today we can keep our prayer very simple, knowing that God will do a better job filling in the particulars of what exactly we need. And so we simply ask, “Lord increase our faith in you! Help us to trust, more than anything else, that you will provide the strength and encouragement necessary to be faithful and fulfilled today. And with your grace, I will do the same tomorrow. Amen!”
