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Last week’s Scriptures encouraged us to consider our relationship with the Truth. Are we willing to speak it, defend it, and even suffer for it, when God’s truth makes us unpopular or unwelcome? Last week’s readings also confronted us with another question; are we willing to hear the truth about ourselves, even when it is difficult or requires change on our part? In my own self-reflection, I have to admit that sometimes I have been willing to compromise the truth or remain silent because there is part of me that would rather be popular, accepted, and free from conflict. There are other times where I get defensive about hearing the truth about myself, especially my faults or failures. I have been tempted to lash out, to be critical of those offering correction rather than humbly receiving feedback as an opportunity to grow in virtue and excellence. Perhaps you can think of similar moments in your own experience?! Last week’s Scriptures made it clear that to be in friendship with God, we must be committed to truth, no matter where it leads us. Today’s Scriptures continue that theme but now apply it to our friendships with others!
In the first reading, God says to Ezekiel, “You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me. If I tell the wicked, "O wicked one, you shall surely die, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death.” God goes on to tell Ezekiel if he warns the wayward sinner and is ignored, it is no longer the prophet’s problem; he has done his job. That is an important reminder for us too! We are responsible for speaking the truth in our vocations but we are not responsible for the results. We cannot control whether a person accepts God’s truth but we must make sure they have a chance to hear it. The gospel builds on this theme of truthful but loving correction as Jesus lays out a process of charitable confrontation to be used when someone has fallen into sin.
Both of these readings, with their mandate to correct the sinner, to share difficult truths in love, fly in the face of what our feelings-first, anything goes, morally-subjective society tells us to do. Our culture often preaches that we should never rock the boat, that offending someone is the worst sin we could ever commit. Ahhh, but the Word of God offers another perspective, which is certainly more challenging but also more loving.
Just as He told the prophet Ezekiel, God tells us, ‘you are a watchman, a watchwoman for my kingdom. If we see someone doing wrong and say nothing; we are in some way responsible too!’ We are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers, with two important caveats: 1) we are dealing primarily with major moral issues and 2), we always examine our own lives 1st before confronting another! If we truly love every person, we should want them to share in the truth of God’s saving and loving commandments. We are never confronting someone to win them over to our view or our opinions (that would be proud and arrogant) but to share God’s truth. We have to want what is best for them, which is not just earthly comfort or contentment but everlasting happiness in heaven. Many times that will mean supporting others with encouragement and love. Sometimes that will mean respectfully pointing out ways a person is wandering away from God. We see this in good parenting; loving parents not only encourage their children but also correct them. They always strive to do so with love but true concern for the child means confronting wrongdoing directly and not ignoring it.
There is nothing easy about confronting another person about something as personal as sin. Thankfully, in the gospel, Jesus gives us method for doing so with the best possible chance of a good outcome. We would be wise to follow his approach, which starts small with just two people and only involves others if absolutely necessary. We also can’t hope to give correction if we aren’t first open to receive it. Every one of us is imperfect and sinful in some way. We must be humble enough to accept charitable criticism from the prophets God sends into our lives. The experience of receiving correction prepares us to offer it compassionately. We know how the first reaction we feel is often shame, pride, anger, or defensiveness. It doesn’t mean the person is wrong but often our first response to correction is pushing back or lashing out. Understanding this helps us to be kind to the person who loves us enough to point out our sins. It also allows us to absorb the feelings of those whom we correct without taking it personally.
Ultimately, we aren’t having these difficult conversations with others using our standards, trying to get our way, or seeking to make life easier for ourselves. We are not trying to win or be right! Instead we are trying to win the person back to Christ and his saving truth. We are doing for them what we would want someone to do for us if we were in the same situation. And so our motivation should always be love and compassion for the other person. To help us have the proper intentions, we must pray about the situation and for the person before we ever open our mouths. We should be respectful and make sure not to talk to everyone else about their faults and weaknesses. Just as we appreciate someone coming directly to us about a problem, so we should do for others. Everything we do should be motivated by Godly love. May you and I be humble servants of God’s truth, willing to speak up respectfully and humbly when someone has wandered from God. If we do so with love, God might use that as the first moment of a conversion that brings a person closer to him for all eternity!
