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Wanted to start the homily by stating something extremely obvious: priests are people just like anyone else. Seems like a no-brainer but its funny how people can be thrown off when they see you grocery shopping, at the movie theater, or running around in jeans or other “normal people clothes”. A number of years ago, I was at the gym and this lady kept staring at me before finally coming up and saying, “Father, I didn’t recognize you without your clothes on!” I knew what she meant but suggested there might be a better way to say it that didn’t sound so bad.
This doesn’t just apply to wardrobes and shopping. We priests are subject to the same insecurities, comparisons, and competitions that every human struggles with throughout our lives. I thought of this when praying with today’s gospel parable where the pharisee replaces prayer with comparing himself to others.
What a dangerous thing it is to compare ourselves with one another?! I have struggled with this for most of my priesthood. When someone comes up and says, Father So-and-so is the best confessor, there is something in me wonders, “but what about me? Aren’t I a good confessor?” Or the inevitable, “Father What’s-his-name or deacon youngblood gives the best homilies”, part of me thinks, “Don’t you like my homilies? I try really hard too?” Many times, this comparison is unwanted and involuntary; I want to be happy for others, for the ways they excel and reach people differently than I do. But there is also a part of me that feels diminished or less because of their success.
That tendency to compare myself to another, something I might do with my ministry and preaching, something that you might do with your income, career, physical appearance, family, or material things, well, it is a spiritual and emotional black hole that will end up consuming us and stealing our joy.
One of the blessings of my life has been being assigned with many gifted priests and deacons who have shown me that God showers his talents abundantly in many different ways. No one person has them all and never will. It is better for the church and for you that there is such variety. Apart from Christ, there is no perfect priest out there that we all have to imitate. I’ve had to learn that lesson the hard way by feeling that insecurity and insufficiency; by feeling that pang of jealousy and sadness when others are praised.
But slowly, over the years, I have realized that those comparisons do not come from God. He does not put us in competition with each other when it comes to his love or gifts. His love is not based on how we rank against others or how well we perform in our vocation. His love is unconditional, complete, and existed long before we ever did.
This is hard concept for us to grasp because we are constantly judging ourselves against one another on so many levels: our appearance, our status, our wealth, our relationships, and yes, even our spiritual lives.
But God never compares us to anyone. He has a completely unique and personal relationship with each of us and doesn’t care how we stack up to those we want to compare ourselves to. He simply wants to know how we choose to live and love with the gifts and graces he gives us. The judgement each of us receives will be between us and God, not in contrast with others.
If I and if you can accept this reality, then we begin to delight in the giftedness of other people. It does not hurt us when someone has a talent or ability that we do not. They are not a threat or competition but rather a compliment to whatever light God has shared with us. Our happiness is not captive to our ability to rank above others and we are set free from the pettiness that is miserable whenever someone else succeeds or is praised! It is so freeing to let go of that insecurity and rejoice whenever someone else is praised!
The only person we can compare ourselves to is God, since we are made in his image and likeness. And every time we see ourselves in comparison to Him, the only honest and possible prayer will be that of the tax collector, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner!”
Both the Pharisee and the tax collector have something to teach us because we have elements of each in our lives. The pride and self-righteousness of the pharisee are dangers for all of us. The sinfulness of the tax-collector, his greed, selfishness, and evil lifestyle are things that most of us struggle with in some way. In light of this, we can take away three important lessons from the parable:
First, it was not the lifestyle of the pharisee that got him in trouble nor the life of the tax collector that made him admirable. So, let us work to imitate the Pharisee in his commendable practice of regular prayer, fasting, and generous almsgiving. Let us seek to eliminate sin, in all its forms from our lives and strive to be righteous in every way.
Secondly, we should never forget the simple prayer of the tax collector. God is not won over by smooth-talking or elaborate words but rather by heartfelt and humble prayers. If we acknowledge our need for God and his mercy, we can be sure that he will grant us all that is necessary to be justified in his sight. Our prayers should always acknowledge that we are sinners in need of God’s mercy.
Lastly, we should remember that God simply wants us to place our trust in him. He is not impressed by how we stack up to others. It is not good enough to be better than others if we don’t place our complete trust in him. The parable shows us that God abandons those who believe they can exult themselves, and exults those who abandon themselves, if they abandon themselves to him.
So do not be proud and do not compare compare yourself to others! Let us humble ourselves in the sight of God and make the prayer of the tax-collector our own: “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.”
