Holy Family (2021)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

One of the vivid childhood memories I have was riding in the family van with my siblings. Inevitably, if the ride was longer than a few minutes, we would try to unbuckle our seat belts under the pretense that we had to get something off the floor or get more comfortable. My parents did their best to make us buckle up but there was always at least one child unrestrained during any given time. The excitement happened when my parents would have to slam on the brakes. The kid without a seatbelt would fly forward as a living reminder why seatbelts save lives and physics never takes a vacation. Instinctively, whenever a quick stop was needed, mom or dad’s arm swung out to try and restrain the dead meat headed their way at terminal velocity. This reaction is not unique to my mom and dad. Parents are wired to protect their children in all things. That instinct is part of the beauty and security of family life. Intuitively, parents know they must safeguard the bodies, minds, and souls of their children from anything or anyone who would seek to do them harm. 

We see this protective role carried out in the Holy Family as Jesus slowly developed from tiny baby to mighty messiah and king of kings. Joseph is warned in a dream to get out of Dodge before Herod can murder Jesus. So they go into exile in Egypt until the danger passes. In today’s gospel, we can hear the anxiety and alarm in Mary’s voice after the spent three days searching for Jesus. How many worst case scenarios were running through her head as she tried to find him? His safety and well-being were always on the mind of Mary and Joseph and Jesus respects this, as we hear that he returns to Nazareth after the incident and was obedient to them and their decisions as parents. 

But families don’t just provide protection from evil and harm, as important as that is. They are also the primary place where we find the nourishment needed to grow and develop as human beings. A healthy family doesn’t just lock themselves in a castle and ride out the storm that happens in society. Good parents are constantly looking for what will feed the minds, bodies, and souls of their children. Often they do so at great personal sacrifice. But that is what love is all about. Being willing to give up something good for oneself so that your beloved can flourish and be happy. 

I am always amazed and edified at the dedication of parents to work long hours and multiple jobs for years on end so their kids can go to the finest schools, wear nice clothes, and generally want for nothing. So many moms and dads go without enough sleep so their children can participate in sports, clubs, and many other extracurricular activities which produce a well-rounded person. If you were ever been sick as a child, you know that moms and dads will do anything and everything to make sure their beloved son or daughter has whatever is needed to get better. Parents are motivated by love to give their children a better life than they had, even if that means forgoing things and experiences they might want for themselves.

So much time and effort is focussed on protecting the earthly lives of our families and providing for the immediate needs of mind and body. Sometimes, after addressing these most apparent concerns, there is little energy left to consider what is needed for the growth and protection of the souls of those in our homes. And yet, of the three parts that make up the human person, the soul is the one thing that will never die. Far too often it is also the part that gets whatever is leftover, if it gets anything at all in the life of an active family.

It breaks my heart as I carry out my priestly ministry and see that fewer and fewer families view the regular practice of their faith as a core value. Sunday Mass and family prayer time is something they do if they get around to it or have some extra time on a given weekend. Otherwise, children are told their family is just too busy to go to mass. Often, weekly worship together at Mass is sacrificed for games, tournaments, practices, and other activities that will come to an end after high school or college if not sooner. But each and every child’s soul will live forever. Within our families, are we making the appropriate investment in that part of our loved one’s life as we are for other areas which are ultimately temporary? I find it sad that I have to encourage children to ask their parents to help them practice their faith and get to Mass. Can we imagine if scores of children in this parish had to ask their moms and dads to please feed them or take them to school because otherwise it wouldn’t happen? And yet this is what is going on spiritually in the lives of so many families.

Another heartbreaker is observing children and young people who have the finest electronics, cars, clothes, and education but who have very little of their parents’ undivided attention and affection. Mom and Dad are working so hard to give them things that they have forgotten to give themselves to their children. One dad told me that his children have taught him that love is spelled T-I-M-E and there is no substitute. 

Good, healthy, holy families don’t just happen automatically or by chance. They grow and become such because of deliberate thought, effort, and cooperation. Everyone plays a part; it is not just on parents. Moms and Dads are not the slaves of their children just as children are not the slaves of their parents. Families are meant to be communities of love. They should be defined by respect, care, holiness, safety, and nourishment. From the moment every child is born, parents begin making plans to keep them safe, give them a great education, provide them with opportunities, and help them have the best life possible here on earth. That is good and natural and commendable. But we must also make sure we are doing the same for the souls of those entrusted to our care because that part of our loved ones will live forever, either in heaven or in hell, depending on the choices made. 

This will require the same dedication, sacrifices, and difficult choices as providing for mind and body. Sometimes people will think us odd for our commitment to care for the soul. Sometimes our children or our spouse might be unenthusiastic about addressing the spiritual needs of family life. Even as a priest, there are times where the last thing I want to do is pray or offer Mass. We’ve all felt that way before but we work through it. Sometimes we might be the only ones leading the charge to care for the souls in our home. That’s not ideal but it shouldn’t stop us from doing the right thing. We can’t underestimate the witness of our good example and the ways God may be planting seeds for the future faith of our loved ones.

We are here today because of the love, nourishment, and protection of our families. They are not perfect but we owe them a debt of gratitude for all we have received in that holy community. Whatever our role in our family right now, as child or parent, let’s ask Jesus, Mary and Joseph for the grace to care for our loved ones’ minds, bodies, and souls in the best way possible!

Man's Best Friend - Christmas 2021

To listen to this homily, click here.

During my 13 years as a priest, I’ve been to a considerable number of dinner auctions. Inevitably, there is a puppy at the live auction and at least one person, usually more than one, offers to buy it for parish clergy. Maybe they think we are lonely over at the rectory or something like that. Without hesitation, no matter how cute the puppy is, I always turn down the kind offer. People are often surprised at my emphatic “no”. The immediately question is something like, “Don’t you like dogs?”. In fact, I do like dogs, especially other people’s dogs! We had some great canine companions growing up and lots of fond memories of our dogs who had wonderful lives of constant attention and affection as members of our large family.

But this symbiotic relationship between humans and dogs did not always exist. The dog's ancestors used to fear humans and hide from them, even attacking at times. At some point, a brave and brilliant person approached the wolves. Maybe he saw an abandoned wolf pup and took him in or sensed an openness within the canine creature. Whatever happened, that person somehow bridged the enormous distance between the two species and we began to see each other as companions rather than a threat. So much so that now dogs are considered man’s best friend!

Every Christmas, we celebrate the fact that Jesus did something similar but infinitely more remarkable for the human race. We used to fear God and hide from him; in some ways we still do, because of the guilt of our sins. But Jesus reached out to us in an extraordinary way. He became one of us in the little town of Bethlehem. He bridged the infinite gap between humanity and God, between creator and creature, because he loves us and couldn’t bear to see us wander and suffer any longer. That is what we celebrate on Christmas eve (day).

When we look at the Child in the manger, we are seeing something extraordinary. Astronomers tell us if we look into a powerful telescope, we are seeing events that already happened millions, maybe even billions, of years ago. When we look into the manger and reflect on the mystery of the Incarnation, we are seeing even further than that. Jesus existed before the dawn of time. When we see him, we are looking at God Himself.

The joy and awe of the Christmas mystery should lead us towards humility. You and I will never understand the mind of God anymore than a dog can understand the mind of a human. Even a seemingly simple thing, like drawing a picture or working on simple addition and subtraction, is beyond the dog’s understanding. Neither do we comprehend the enormity of what God is doing when he creates the universe and works out the mystery of our salvation. There is an awesome distance between us and God. That distance will always remain, but because of Jesus, we can enter God's presence. We can feel the peace of his acceptance and friendship.

I read a little-known story that illustrates God's acceptance of us, even with all our sins and limitations. The singer Johnny Cash shared how he spent the Christmas of 1974 with the famous evangelist Billy Graham. At one point, Graham said, "Let's call Richard Nixon and wish him a Merry Christmas." Johnny Cash wasn’t sure this was a good idea. I suppose that would be like us deciding to give the Cuomo brothers a call. The Christmas of ’74 was just a few months after Nixon left the White House in disgrace because of Watergate. The American people had placed the greatest trust in him, but he let them down by abusing his power and failing to rise above the fray of politics as the Commander in Chief. No one wanted to have anything to do with him. But in the end, that’s what they did! Cash admitted it was difficult to make holiday small talk with Nixon. Then he added, "Billy felt good he had talked to him. It didn't matter to Billy Graham what a man has done, it doesn't matter how rotten and low he has been."

God knows everything you and I have done. He's seen our best moments but also the many times we’ve given in to sin and selfishness, not just with our actions, but also in our most private thoughts and desires. He knows who we are, but just like that first man who reached out to wolves, he reached out to us dramatically on Christmas day. He is not afraid of our sins and weakness because his love is far stronger than any evil we can think, do, or say. 

Sometimes people say they are afraid to go to church on Christmas. It’s been a long time since they came to Mass or practiced their faith. They think the walls will fall down or lightening will strike. But these walls are sturdy and we have a fully grounded electrical system! The God of all peoples and the Creator of the universe is not interested in crushing or zapping any of us. He wants to save every person and invites you and me into his wonderful friendship. He could impress us with his power or overwhelm us with his majesty but instead he seeks to soften our hearts as a vulnerable, meek Child. He wants to bridge the gap between us and the Almighty in the most non-threatening way. In Jesus God wants to embrace us, no matter how low we’ve gone or how far we’ve run away.

So let us rejoice in the incredible love God has for us. A love that cannot be destroyed by any sin, illness or death. A love that will never leave us or fade away. Let us embrace this love in the baby Jesus, opening our sinful, hardened hearts to him. Lastly, having received this love ourselves, may we never forget to turn around and share it generously with others: our friends, our family, and yes, even those who are difficult for us to be around, even the marginalized and inconvenient, all those the world has given up on or rejected. Like that brave man who first reached out to the wolves, God has reached out to us. We no longer need to fear God, to hide from him. That is the message for today: No more fear and hiding. Come to Bethlehem. Come to the Manger. Come to the Child. 

I pray that you and your family have a Holy Christmas. And may we all keep Christmas alive through our love of God and love for one another.

 

Don't Judge a Gift by its Wrapping! 4th Sunday of Advent (Year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

One of the Christmas traditions my parents started relatively recently for our family has quickly become one of our favorites. It is a white-elephant gift exchange where each adult in the family spends considerable time and energy but never more than $15-20 finding a terrible gift to give. Some of these treasures have been so wretched and aesthetically-offensive that they have stolen the hearts and minds of the entire family. We’ve even instituted a rule that these hall of fame gifts may never be thrown away or given to anyone outside the family. For example, one year, my dad received an incredible full-length denim robe that is simply indescribable. If Old Testament Joseph had been born in the American West, this would have been his enviable dreamcoat that drove his brothers insane. After all of us got over our jealousy and the desire to steal my Dad’s new robe, we all agreed to his one wish, that he be buried in it, whenever that day comes. 

The custom of a white elephant gift exchange is nothing new or novel. We just had one at our teacher party this week and our teens will enjoy theirs later tonight. But one thing I’ve learned from our family’s tradition is that you should never judge a gift by its appearance. More often than not, the most beautifully wrapped, perfectly presented boxes were the holiday version of fools gold; they looked great but there was nothing but disappointment inside. On the other hand, some of the gifts wrapped in a trash bag or simple brown paper that looks like it had been cut by someone’s teeth, those often were the most amazing.

I couldn’t help but think of this experience as the season of Advent begins to wind down and we look forward to celebrating Christmas in a few short days. My hunch is that most of the gifts that will be exchanged and found under trees will be wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper, full of shiny gold and silver patterns and holiday images. Some will have bows and ribbons and all will be beautiful to look at and impossible to resist opening. Very few will resemble the landmines which will soon find their way under the tree at my parents’ house. And if we had a choice of which gift we would choose, based on appearances alone, most of us would prefer the one wrapped with beautiful paper and flowing ribbons. But is that a good thing?

In today’s readings, there is a certain preference for the people and things the world passes over. Take the first reading for example. In it, the prophet Micah encourages the little town of Bethlehem. Bethlehem was nothing in the eyes of the world. More than that, it was even insignificant in the eyes of the twelve tribes of Judah. It was a one-horse, or perhaps more accurately, a one-camel town. It was the hoosier-ville of biblical times, insignificant, unimportant, irrelevant. Not a place that you would brag about being from. But not for long! Micah shares some shocking news! God will make this little unimportant town, a place passed over by the world, the home of the messiah; here he will begin the salvation of the whole world. It will no longer be insignificant; now it will be known forever and always as a place honored and blessed by God. 

This underdog theme continues in the Gospel. Here we have two women who are experiencing unusual pregnancies. The first is that of Elizabeth. She has been barren her whole life and her marriage to Zechariah has produced no offspring. In biblical times, this was seen as a curse and even a punishment by God for some evil committed. She is no supermodel or leading lady! In the eyes of the world, her best days are behind her and her purpose is fading. She is not shiny, new, or flashy. But what does God do? He chooses Elizabeth to be mother of the last and greatest prophet to walk this earth. He entrusts to her the life of John the Baptist, who will prepare the way of the messiah. Yet another case of God choosing what the world has passed by and written off.

But this is not all, nor is Elizabeth’s pregnancy the most unique. She is visited by her cousin, Mary. Most bible scholars believe the mother of God was a young teenage girl around 15 or 16 when she had Jesus. This was common in a time when people’s life expectancy was a mere 30-40 years. To the people her time, Mary was a nobody. She was not a glamorous celebrity whose every moment of pregnancy was covered by reporters and followed by the masses. She was not a member of the royal family or the daughter of rich and powerful parents. This no-name maiden received the shocking news that she would become the Mother of God. And she would do this while still maintaining her virginity. She could have been put to death for being pregnant during her time of engagement. Not exactly the way the world expected the savior to enter the world. And certainly not the person most would have chosen for this honor.

As we enter this fourth and final Sunday of Advent, we recognize that many of the gifts God presents to our world are easy to dismiss and ignore. They are not covered in bright flashy wrapping; they are not the first thing that catches our eye. So many times, the things endorsed by our culture as great or strong or important are little more than fancy coverings, a thin veil that is ripped away when God appears in his Glory! When it comes to sharing his goodness with us, God is not interested in trying to compete with the flashy things of this world. He does not try to win our love with gimmicks or empty promises. 

What we learn from the readings today is that God often uses those things and people that the world dismisses as unimportant, irrelevant, and no longer useful. In Bethlehem, Elizabeth, and the Blessed Virgin Mary, we see three of God’s gifts in easy-to-miss, easy-to-dismiss, wrappings. Even today, those divine gifts are all around us but we often look past them, getting distracted by worldly presents that catch our eye and divert our attention. The lesson for us this Sunday is straightforward: do not discount what the world disregards. Do not write someone off because of their appearance or their seeming irrelevance. Do not discount the weak, the old, the unpopular, the unborn, the unknown, or the simple. God may be working through them to bring his love and salvation into your life. Follow this advice and prepare to experience the wonders of God at work in the world this Christmas season. 

What Are the Road Conditions of Your Soul? (2nd Sunday of Advent, Year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

One of the charms of my last parish, St. Michael the Archangel, was that it was nestled in the middle of a neighborhood. Something interesting about that place was its small parking lot. Historically it wasn’t needed. There was a bus stop one block away. The metrolink station was only a .25 mile stroll. A good number of parishioners walked to Mass. That is increasingly rare these days. We drive everywhere all the time! I only put 12-15k miles a year on my vehicle but my dad notched 35k a year when he was doing outside sales. Those of you running your kids around from thing to thing are probably logging 20k miles a year. All of this is simply to make the point that driving is an important and constant part of our lives. A huge factor in whether our time behind the wheel is something that leads to holiness or adds to time in purgatory is the road we happen to be on. A good road makes the journey pleasant, efficient, and relatively stress free. The miles can fly by and we arrive at our destination happy and on time. A bad road can leave us tense, frustrated, and late, if we arrive at all. But good roads don’t come easy; they require tremendous effort, planning, cost, and frequent updating. Any shortcuts you take will haunt you later.

Think back to the old section of 64/40, from 270 into the city of St. Louis. It was a nightmare! Built in the mid-1930's, it had those dangerously short entrance and exit ramps, where drivers were fighting each other to get over before the road ran out. My least favorite section was entering or exiting the highway at Lindberg Blvd. The old 64/40 was a narrow highway by modern standards with only three lanes in each direction and was designed for speeds between 40 and 50 miles per hour. As Saint Louis spread from the city to the county and cars became more numerous, this historic little highway became extremely congested. Daily commuters could count on substantial delays each day at certain bottlenecks or accident-prone parts of the highway. However, because of the volume of traffic that used the roadway, and the dated design of the ramps and overpasses, there was little that could be done to improve safety and traffic flow.

After decades of frustration and head-scratching, accidents and bumper-to-bumper traffic, it was decided to shut down the stretch of highway running through the city and completely rebuild it. This seemed like an impossible task, because most of that traffic would have to be re-directed to secondary roads and other highways which were already crowded. But after two years of waiting and relatively little hassle, drivers were given a new highway which was safer, faster, wider, smoother, and straighter. 12 years later, many people have forgotten how bad the old highway was, we’ve certainly forgotten the two years of waiting and sacrificing as the road was being improved. Perhaps the only question asked when it was all over was, "why didn't we do this sooner?" 

Interestingly enough, the Missouri Department of Transportation opened the new and improved 64/40 on the 2nd Sunday of Advent back in 2009. They couldn’t have timed it better. The very real need that Saint Louis had for a new highway to connect her people is very similar to the need we each have for a spiritual highway connecting us to God and his saving love. Luke's gospel tells us that John the Baptist was wandering through the desert proclaiming a baptism of repentance in preparation for the coming of Christ. He was echoing those beautiful words from the prophet Isaiah: "Prepare the way of the Lord,  make straight his paths.
 Every valley shall be filled and every mountain and hill shall be made low.  The winding roads shall be made straight, and the rough ways made smooth,  and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.”

John the Baptist, the last of the prophets and one of the first to follow Christ, calls on the people of every age to fill in the valleys, to lower the hills and mountains, to straighten the winding roads and smooth the rough patches not on our roads (although I hope we still do that too!) but in our hearts. In the spiritual life, it is our faith which is our spiritual highway. It is through our faith that God sends us the many graces and blessings which make it possible to follow him and gain eternal life. 

Much like old roadways, our faith can become outdated. Many of us have not learned much about our faith since grade school or high school. It is not a stretch to say that most of us have experienced a narrowing of our faith due to doubt or disagreement with some Church teachings. Is it possible that our faith has become weakened or even treacherous due to some habit of pride or sin that threatens to tear us apart? Perhaps there are some rough patches where our prayer life has been neglected. For the Christian, faith must be alive, always growing and learning; it can never be allowed to stand still or it is already beginning to crumble. Much like the roadways of our country, our faith must be constantly maintained, improved, and broadened so that we can handle the spiritual traffic that comes our way. God can only send as many graces as we are capable of receiving, the wider our highways of faith, the more blessings we are capable of handling.   

This season of Advent is a time given to us by the Church to improve and restructure our spiritual lives. We can look for ways in the next few weeks to turn the winding, bumpy roads of our faith into smooth highways capable of absorbing the many ups and downs of this busy season. 

How do we do this? The foundation for each of us must be a regular practice of prayer. Not just asking God to change a light or find a parking place but also prayers of praise and gratitude for the many wonderful ways he has blessed us. An essential component to our prayer must be some time in silence. We know from Scripture that silence is the preferred place where God speaks to those he loves. What else? Make this Advent season more about Christ and the gifts that can’t be bought. Finally, don’t waste the many opportunities that the Church gives us in this beautiful season to contemplate the great mystery that Christ was born as one of us, like us in all things, except sin. Make the most of the times you will be in church for Mass, giving thanks for the gift of the Eucharist and experiencing God’s cleansing mercy in confession.

You know, when they first announced the Highway 40 overhaul, a lot of people groaned and said it was going to be disaster. I was one of them. The amount of work was daunting and seemed to be nearly impossible but I was wrong. The same thing can happen to us with this busy season as we are pulled in so many different directions. Don’t be afraid of the spiritual overhaul God wants to work in you. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the many ways you might fall short. Jesus will give you the grace to prepare the way of the Lord, to make straight his paths.  He will help you fill in those valleys and level those mountains.  Trust in him this Advent season and life’s winding roads shall be made straight, the rough ways made smooth, and you shall see the salvation of God.