Imperfect Families Can be Holy Families! (Holy Family, 2020)

To listen to this homily, click here.

It’s difficult not to be sentimental this time of year, even for a crusty German like me! This season of celebration and being together as family contains so many happy memories for me growing up. The frenzy of excitement as we cleaned and decorated our little house in Hazelwood so we could host my mom’s family on Christmas Eve. The impatient praying at Midnight Mass, which actually started at midnight, at St. Agatha’s parish in South St. Louis, anticipating the many gifts that would appear under the tree a few hours later. The waking up at the crack of dawn to stare at the mountain of gifts Santa had brought. The lazy days between Christmas and New Year’s Day where we could play games for hours, enjoy having dad home from work, eat the leftovers from special Christmas feasts, and put our new gifts through their paces. What wonderful times those were! What simple pleasures! But what made these memories most special was not the gifts, the food, or the time of relaxing. What made the memories an everlasting joy were the people, my family. Despite our expected arguing, bickering, and occasional grudges, my family has and continues to be, a place of joy, strength, refuge, accountability, and faith. I hope you can say something similar as you think of your own families who loved and formed you!

The human family is not simply an evolutionary construct or a gathering of convenience; it's part of God’s plan. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that the family is the “domestic Church.” Long before we went to Catholic school or PSR, or knew what was happening at Mass, we were being taught in our families how to love, how to share, how to forgive and pray. God, in his wisdom, knows that the safety, acceptance, and calm of the family is the most natural place for humans to learn how to love Him and others. That is why the family will always be sacred to God’s Church and why Church will never stop fighting to protect families from sin, evil, abuse, and redefinition.

It might surprise you to know this feast is relatively new in the history of our faith. It was not formally declared and celebrated until 1921. Of course, there was always a Holy family but the need to call people to return to family life was not so urgent until recently. For all its limitations and hardships, rural, agricultural life had a way of keeping families together, if for no other reason than the shared struggle for survival. With the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, with its many promises of improvements and innovations also came the beginning of the breakup of the family. Families moved to cities, or at least some members did. Often there were different shifts in different factories for children and parents. Long hours away from each other, day after day, year after year. Within several generations, the Church saw where this was headed and instituted a yearly reflection on what God calls each family to be. 

We need this reminder now more than ever. Family life today is difficult. Has any one here not seen loved ones affected by divorce, the scourge of alcohol and narcotics, the breakdown of discipline, or profound hurts that produce grudges lasting decades?

We should pay attention to St Paul's letter to the Colossians which contains timeless advice. Apparently word had reached Paul that Christian families in that city were falling apart. And so he notes the qualities that must be present in any Christian home. "Bear with one another. Forgive one another... Over all these put on love...Christ's peace must reign in your hearts...Be thankful...Wives, cherish your husbands...Husbands, love your wives...Children, obey your parents in everything.”

What a home it would be to find all the qualities Paul mentions! It really would be a holy family! Oftentimes when we hear these things we let our cynicism win and think, “my family could never do all that.” But our Church is an everlasting optimist! She hopes for the best! With God all things are possible! That was the message last week and it is still true a week later, even with our families! How can our families grow holier if we don’t even try? We may never be the holiest family but with God’s grace we can certainly be a holy family! 

Some of you may be saying, “Get your head out of the clouds, Padre! How can we relate to the Holy Family? Joseph was a celibate. Mary a virgin. Jesus the Son of God. They had it easy!” But we do Mary, Joseph, and Jesus a disservice if we fantasize their lives. Take the Christmas stable for example. We picture it as something rustic and charming. However, stables are constructed for livestock, not families. That Christmas stable was crawling with dangerous vermin and foul odors. There were no pampers, heat, or fresh water. Imagine the cold drafts. Mary and Joseph had to be sick with worry for the Infant's health. Where would the next meal for the Baby come from? Soon there would be a murderous king hunting them and the need to flee to another country. Consider, too, the teen years of Jesus. Most teens believe they know everything. Can you imagine raising one who did?! Each family has their own unique challenges to face. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph faced theirs together with faith; how do we approach ours?

We celebrate not the feast of the Perfect Family but the feast of the Holy Family. God knows, each of us comes from very imperfect families and we all contribute our fair share to the dysfunction and neurotic tendencies that are found in every home. The good news is that God loves working with imperfect people! He can make you and your loved ones holy in the course of daily family life. But we have to give him opportunities to make it happen. In our time the main dangers to family life are a lack of silence, stillness, and being present to each other. Modern life and technology constantly try to isolate us from each other and keep us running around so there is no time to truly listen even to those we live with. And let’s not forget, we are not simply waging battle against human weakness or a hostile culture. The devil hates the things God loves; families are at the top of his list to divide, distract, and destroy. But we should never be afraid or lose hope because God will always protect us if we entrust our family to him. And God most often gives us grace in ordinary moments of life. Ask yourself these questions to get the conversation started with God on how to be a holy family:

1. when was the last time I gave my family my undivided attention and was completely present to them without the tv, phone, internet, or any other distraction pulling at me? Is there regular moments they know I am focused on them regardless of the other demands on my time?
2. Do I make time each day to try to communicate meaningfully with the people in my home? Do I know what is on their heart or do I mostly engage in small talk? Do I listen as much as I speak? Am I willing to share my heart, including my thoughts, feelings, and desires or do I simply convey information?
3. How often do I pray with my family, before meals, at the end of the day, even over the phone before ending a conversation with a family member who might be living out of town?
4. Am I doing my part to make my family a domestic church? Do I act in a way that fosters a community of respect, love, warmth, compassion, forgiveness, strength, holiness, peace, service, and gratitude? Or is it all about me?

These are some of the basic things we can do in our families to create a holy environment in our homes. Holiness then fosters happiness and healthiness which we all want. May God bless our families today and heal any hurts that keep us from loving as we should. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, please help us!

 

God Gets 💯 (Christmas, 2020)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

This year I feel like the college student who was unprepared for his final exam. Seeing the test in front of him, his mind went blank. Since it was right before Christmas break, he wrote on his paper: “Only God knows the answers to these questions. Merry Christmas!” When the college professor graded the test, he added this note: “God gets a hundred. You get a zero. Happy New Year!” I hope my homily does better than that, but whatever happens, give God a hundred. Despite everything we’ve endured in this strange and difficult year, God has been good to us. Christmas is proof that He never stops giving!

A number of years ago, a group of pastors came up with a creative Christmas gift. They collected $10,000 and used it to pay outstanding tickets. They set up a table outside the City Hall of their town and told people to bring their unpaid tickets. Believe it or not, it was a college student who had the biggest number – 84 - which the pastors covered. A woman brought in fourteen tickets and timidly asked one of the pastors if they could pay half. He responded, “No, we are going to pay them all, in full – because God’s grace is amazing.”

Now, why am I telling you this story? It’s not so you will bring me your unpaid tickets. I am not one of those nice pastors! Still, it is a modern-day parable about God’s grace; undeserved, free, extravagantly generous and liberating. I think a lot about God’s generous mercy this time of year when I am hearing confessions. How people come in nervous, ashamed, burdened and sad. Yet they leave refreshed, free, and hopeful! How beautiful is God’s love and forgiveness! The same is true when I stop and think about my life and ministry as a priest with you. How generous God has been in my life! How many undeserved blessings I have been given in the form of treats, beautiful cards with heartfelt encouragement, monetary gifts and so many meaningful friendships. All while doing work that fulfills me and brings meaning to my life. It’s so much more than I deserve! I hope as you reflect on your life and on this year, despite the obvious hardships and setbacks, you feel something similar.

This humble gratitude for the most profound gifts is at the heart of what we celebrate on Christmas. God became man to reveal to us the depths of his love. It is his perfect and saving gift to the human race: undeserved, perfect, and free!

Let me tell you about a man who received a beautiful gift from God, a man who then wound up sharing it with the entire world. His beginnings were unpromising, to say the least. His father abandoned him before he was born, and his mother barely made ends meet by knitting sweaters, caps and socks. As a young man, he discerned a call to the priesthood, entered the seminary and became a priest in Salzburg, Austria in 1815. The bishop assigned Fr. Mohr to a mountain parish. One quiet evening the young priest sat down and composed a brief poem. He kept the verses to himself for two years. Then, shortly before Christmas, he showed it to a friend named Franz Guber. Franz provided a melody. We all know it well. Its opening words are: Silent Night! Holy Night!

At the Midnight Mass in 1818, Fr. Mohr’s small parish heard the hymn for the first time. The congregation loved it and each Christmas they looked forward to singing the carol which their pastor had composed. About fifteen years later, some traveling troubadours heard the hymn at a Christmas Mass. They picked it up and performed it at a concert in Leipzig. It spread quickly and was sung for the first time in America in 1839. 

Soon it was translated into English, Spanish and many other languages. Fr. Mohr’s poem became the most popular Christmas hymn of all time.

Fr. Mohr lived another thirty years after writing his poem. In spite of the hymn’s popularity, the composer died penniless. He had spent his earnings as a parish priest to care for the elderly. Fr. Mohr was buried in the cemetery of the parish where he had served as pastor for ten years.

If you consider the number of times Silent Night has been printed and recorded, the royalties would amount to millions, perhaps billions, of dollars. Yet, for his poem, Joseph Mohr gained neither money nor fame. It was not until after his death that the world even recognized its author. Fr. Mohr had received his poem as gift – it had come to him in an evening of quiet inspiration. What he received, he gave as a gift, first to his parishioners, then to children and adults throughout the world.

The story of the hymn “Silent Night” is appropriate for Christmas. The true greatness of Jesus was not understood from the beginning. He came among us with a modesty that did not reveal the immensity of his gift. Even 2000 years later, many people still do not know or accept the treasure he wishes to share so generously. 

Before we can appreciate the gift of the Christ Child, we might ask ourselves what any gift means. It is a great joy to receive a present and an ever greater joy to be able to give one. It takes a certain childlike wonder and simple gratitude to really get the point. Behind every meaningful gift, is the expression of love and sacrifice. 

Think of everything we have received from the hand of God, starting with the gift of life. Life is the greatest gift of all. None of us created our own self or thought up our own existence. Everything we enjoy depends on the initial gift of life. Yet there is something even greater God wants to give. That is what we celebrate tonight. That God was not content to simply brings us into existence, he also desired to save us from sin and darkness and help us return to him. He wanted to lead as one of us and so accepted our human flesh with all its limitations and humiliations. This is truest form of love and sacrifice! The God of everything becomes nothing to love and save us! 

In his wisdom, God has put his image within us. We experience life as Jesus did, a combination of longings and limitations, desiring to give, be known, and love. We each have an inner self we wish to reveal completely to someone who can understand and embrace us. That perfect someone does exist and we celebrate his birth today. Jesus is his name and He is the supreme gift of the Father, the fulfillment of desire in every human heart.

 

Think back to Fr. Mohr. A young man, who never knew his own father, experienced the love and warmth of Almighty God. Through Divine Grace, he expressed that gift in a poem now sung around the world. What are the gifts we have received from God this year? Have we acknowledged them and given thanks? Have we done our best to imitate the Christ-Child and become a gift to others? God is good! God never stops giving! Come let us adore Him!!

Inconceivable! (4th Sunday of Advent, Year B)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

There is a movie called the “Princess Bride” that is a sort of cult classic. Some people think it’s a cheesy film but I rate it as one of my favorites for its dry wit and the fact that a family can actually watch it together without the risk of scandal. If you’ve never seen it, I think you should; if you have watched the film, then you know the scene I’m about to refer to. In the first part of the story, there is a princess who is kidnapped by a band of scoundrels. One of them, named Vizzini, is the mastermind and happens to be a little man with a big vocabulary. As the kidnappers are pursued by a potential hero, Vizzini keeps declaring the hero’s feats and his odds of liberating the princess as “inconceivable”. And yet the mysterious hero keeps pursuing the captors and eventually forces a showdown; the inconceivable becomes possible after all!

There are a lot of things in life that appear, at first glance, to be inconceivable, impossible, and out of the question. The gospel today refers to two of them. Elizabeth, the wife of Zechariah, advanced in years and barren her entire marriage, is now pregnant with a son who will become the great John the Baptist. And then we have the Annunciation of Gabriel, where Mary hears she will become the mother of God. I can't think of anything more impossible than a humble, teenage girl becoming the Mother of God. Certainly, nothing is more inconceivable, in every sense of the word, than the possibility that this would happen without any relations with a man. Advent is the season of the impossible; the time when God shows us that anything and everything is conceivable if we place our trust in him. Advent is season when the Church's prayer highlights how the marvelous promises of God are fulfilled in ways both mysterious and unimaginable.

How timely this message of hope and faith for you and me, who are living in inconceivable times and circumstances!! How badly we need to hear this idea that nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible with God. Doesn't it seem like every day we hear more troubling news, whether it pertains to the pandemic, the economy, morality, social injustice, racial inequality, or political division? It can be so easy to become dismayed, discouraged and downcast by the events that are taking place. Oftentimes we find ourselves asking: "how can I provide a Christian witness in such difficult circumstances?" how can my actions possibly do any good? What chance does good have in a world so influenced by suffering, sickness, evil, and death? If we listen too long to the many voices that cry out, “inconceivable” as God tries to rescue us, if we side with those who label the problems we face as impossible, even for God, we will find ourselves turning off areas of our lives to Christ. Areas that seem too difficult to change or reform- circumstances that seem too big, too serious to be affected by our feeble efforts and God’s subtle grace.  Although we would never say it out loud, we subconsciously think our worst problems and biggest worries are beyond God’s abilities.  And this weakness of faith hinders our Lord from working great and wonderful miracles through us. The actress Audrey Hepburn said something that is a good reminder to store away for those moments when we are tempted accept a situation as beyond God’s power or reach. She said, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” Simple but true!

What are some examples of "impossible" things that God might want to make possible in our lives? Do we we believe God has a plan, a way forward with COVID that is powered by hope and faith rather than fear? Or do we think it is it only up to us to solve? Can God heal the racial hurts and incredible division in our country or is that inconceivable in our minds? Perhaps there is someone in our life who needs to be forgiven and we just can't quite bring ourselves to be the first person to extend the olive branch of forgiveness. Or maybe it's the other way around - could it be that there is someone we need to apologize to but we just can't get over the shame, embarrassment, and fear that comes with asking for absolution? Nothing is impossible for God! Is there some sin, addiction, or dark fear that has kept us away from confession for years because we felt that we could never be forgiven?  Nothing is impossible for God!! Perhaps it is some issue of the Church's moral teaching, which seems impossible to live in your own life. Can we ask for the gift of faith that God will give us the grace and strength to live according to his ways? Can we trust that it is not up to us to have the answer for every single situation or contingency. The only thing we must believe is that Nothing is impossible for God!! 

There are, of course, many other examples. Perhaps God might be calling you to step out of your comfort zone and do something more, something heroic, something that seems too hard, too extraordinary or too unrealistic. Is he calling you to follow him as a priest or religious? Is he calling you and your spouse to be open to another child? Is there someone who needs your support, financially, emotionally, or spiritually? Or do we excuse ourselves by saying that there simply isn't enough money in the account, we don’t have enough time, we are too old, unqualified or it’s just not possible because we are afraid to trust in God THAT much?

Our Advent is drawing to a close; in a few days we will celebrate the impossible that became possible when God became man and was born of the Virgin Mary. Christ still desires to work the impossible in our lives and in our world. But we have to have faith, the type of faith that moved Mary to say: " Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Great miracles await those who are willing to trust God in this way. As Christmas approaches will you soften your heart and deepen your faith? The Angel Gabriel assures us that nothing is impossible for God!!

Comfort Comes with Repentance (2nd Sunday, Year B)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

If you’ve ever listened to Handel’s musical masterpiece, the Messiah, you can’t help but be uplifted by the tenor expressing in song the Lord’s promise given to Isaiah in our first reading: “Comfort, give Comfort to my people”. This message, this assurance of God’s help and healing never gets old or becomes irrelevant. But not everyone likes being comforted. Have you ever seen a parent try to hug their tough teen when they are upset? Or an independent child who wants to do something all by themselves? Some people resist all affection because they perceive it as an attack on their independence and strength! Comfort is only welcome to those who know they are hurting and in need of help. God’s people weren’t always disposed to receive God’s mercy and healing because they thought they were just fine on their own. People who think they can save themselves aren’t quick to cry out for a savior. 

Before Isaiah was inspired by God to write those words of comfort, he first proclaimed a message of judgement. This sounds harsh to our ears but it was actually God’s effort, over and over again, to try and warn his people away from the self-destruction they kept choosing. Over generations, the Lord warned his People that they would suffer tremendously for their sinful decisions. This suffering was not what God wanted but it was the natural consequence of turning away from his will and wisdom. In their worst nightmares, the Chosen People never thought their lives could get so bad. First, the Northern Kingdom, Israel, was defeated and taken into captivity by the Assyrians. Then the Babylonians conquered the Southern Kingdom, Judah. The people were led off into slavery, bound together with hooks in their noses like cattle. The Temple and the Holy City were destroyed. They had wanted to be like the pagans with their gold, powerful armies, and worldly kings. Now they were forced to live in a pagan land and serve pagan masters. 

But in their poverty something incredible happened; they rediscovered their faith. They turned from their pagan ways. They embraced their identity as devout followers of the one true God. They had no power except their faith in the All Powerful One. But in their weakness and reliance on God for everything, they realized they had more power than they could ever need. God witnessed their conversion. He heard their prayers. He sent His prophet to preach consolation for Israel, a time of relief for his people. 

Over and over in the history of God’s people and in the life of our Church, the events that led to the Babylonian captivity are repeated. We think we have it all, that somehow our plan and our ways are better than God’s ways. We allow evil to creep into our lives. We begin to serve other things and people rather than the Lord. Through this wayward allegiance, we allow something to destroy us. In fact, destroy ourselves by relying on our own abilities instead of the Power of God. But then we find ourselves completely alone. Through the Grace of God, through the prayers of others, we come to the Wisdom that we are only alone when we forget about Him who said He would always be with us. We realize no matter how bad life might have become, no matter how far we or someone else may have fallen, there is no depth God will not descend in order to pick us up and cover us in Divine comfort. 

God loves us so much that there is nothing that we can do which excludes us from His compassion and consolation. He hates our suffering more than we do. But he cannot make us turn to Him for healing, forgiveness and comfort. We must have the humility to seek forgiveness and let Him back into our lives. God’s comfort, mercy, and renewal is available to each and every one of us but only after repentance. 

There are two main temptations against the hope proclaimed by Isaiah in our first reading. The first is despair, where we believe our sins are too much for God’s mercy. We think he forgives others but he cannot forgive me. Does anyone here feel this way? Do you know someone who does? If so, we must challenge this despair with the promise of the Lord to bring comfort and mercy. He does not put a limit on his gift of forgiveness. All are eligible. There is nothing the Lord does not want to forgive. Jesus came to bring forgiveness, to bring mercy, to bring comfort. Despair has no place among the people of God and if we are feeling it, we must ask the Lord to increase our faith in him and in his love for us.If we give him an opening into our darkness, he will not delay to rush in with his love and comfort! 

The other temptation is more subtle and more common in our time. This is the sin of presumption, where we assume, if we need God’s mercy at all, it is automatically given to us. Presumption leads us to feel entitled to God’s mercy and comfort without repentance. Many no longer even bother to ask for it. Presumption is a sin against hope because it makes us self-satisfied; we feel saved by our own goodness and efforts rather than God’s complete gift of grace and forgiveness. God cannot forgive those who do not acknowledge their sins; God cannot save those who do not know they are lost. God cannot free those who do not realize that they are enslaved by worldly concerns and fears. Presumption manifests itself in the fact that fewer and fewer Catholics feel the need or desire to seek God’s forgiveness of their sins in the sacrament of reconciliation. God wants to restore us to spiritual health but we come up with a thousand excuses as to why we don’t need his mercy and can be justified on our own terms. Sometimes its difficult to be weak and vulnerable before God. It’s hard to admit our imperfections and wrongdoing. Most of us want to be strong, wise, and in control. But God cannot comfort us when we act this way. 

 “Prepare the way of the Lord,” both the prophet of the first reading and John the Baptist in the Gospel proclaim. Prepare the way of the Lord by acknowledging your sins and weaknesses to the Lord. Tell him how much you need him and want him to rule over your life. Share with him how many ways you fall short and get suckered into serving other masters like power, pleasure, and riches. Don’t be afraid to be little and weak because then God can comfort you! And then help others realize that they are loved by God, especially in their brokenness and weakness. Show them the mercy God has shown you! Yes, sometimes we may bottom out. Sometimes we may crash. But we are never so bad that God wants nothing to do with us. There is no limit to God’s love, nor to His Mercy. Pope Francis put it this way: the only limit to God’s mercy is the limit we put on His Mercy. Make the humble prayer of the psalmist your own and never lose hope of God’s infinite care for us: “Lord, let us see your kindness, and grant us your salvation.”