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Fairly often an article is published about the negative effects of holding onto anger. It seems like an obvious fact but science shows that anger causes your heart rate to speed up almost immediately. From there, blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels skyrocket. If the anger is chronic, the stress it causes can be responsible for nearly 90% of the illnesses that afflict us and we feel its presence in stomach aches, headaches, and even heart attacks. I even saw a funny sign once that said, “road rage gives you wrinkles.” Yet, for all we know about the negative effects of anger, it seems to be everywhere around us and within us. How many times have we made the promise, “I’m not going to get mad”, “I won’t lose my temper” only to fly off the handle, despite our best intentions? Whether our anger is explosive and directed outward in an angry outburst or is stuffed deep inside of us, brewing beneath the surface like a dangerous volcano, it is bad news! Perhaps it would be helpful to look at the role of anger as part of the human person and then reflect on the remedy given by God in the scriptures.
Anger is an emotion or passion. That means, in its earliest stages, we don’t have control of when we feel it. It comes and goes depending on temperament and situation. Believe it or not, anger can serve a purpose! God put it there for a reason and, in fact, Jesus experienced anger himself. Anger can be good, holy, and purposeful when it is a reaction to serious injustice or wrongdoing. Righteous anger alerts us that something is hurting us or someone else and must not be ignored. In its proper context, anger moves us to do something about an offense against God, ourselves, or others. Once we confront the wrongdoing or threat, we have to let it go immediately. The human person is not meant to hold onto anger. If we do, it ends up eating us alive, corroding our soul, breaking down our body, and stealing our peace. It must be like a booster rocket on a space vehicle, which burns only long enough to help us escape the pull of apathy or laziness but then falls away. Anything more, like holding onto anger, nursing a grudge, or wishing evil on someone who has hurt us are both sinful and unhealthy. Righteous anger should not be confused with impatience, annoyance, losing our temper, or hatred. Those are personal flaws that need to be addressed and cannot be justified as good or Godly. Also, anger that leads to violence or revenge is never justifiable and is completely different from any indignation one might feel in a case of self-defense.
Long before science, the biblical writers knew this. The author of the book of Sirach tells us today that “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” What a great image! Isn’t it true we often embrace the very thing that drags us down? Our anger becomes an anchor dragging us down; its like bear-hugging a cactus; that’s definitely going to leave a mark!
So what is the remedy to this common, yet serious affliction of anger? I like to remember the cure with three “r’s”: reflect, receive, and re-distribute.
If we hope to be inoculated against anger, we have to reflect constantly on the fact that God is infinitely merciful. Our psalm tells us, “The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.” As we think back on our lives, we should be able to see many moments where God has shown mercy to us by sending us people to help and love us. We will also call to mind ways God has blessed us even when we didn’t deserve the good things we received. Most importantly, we remember he sent his Son to suffer and die for our sins, not because we deserved it but because he loved us so much. If our image of God is full of fear, if we aren’t convinced he is merciful to his core, then we have to bring that misperception to prayer. We have a God that is literally dying to share mercy with us and with the whole world. Reflecting on this reality helps us believe confidently that he forgives our sins, no matter what.
But it’s not enough just to think about God’s mercy; we also have to receive it! It must drive God crazy that he offers to forgive the sins of humanity, especially through the sacrament of confession, and yet so few make use of it! One of the interesting dynamics of the spiritual life is that we learn how to give something by receiving it. In other words, if I am going to be able to give forgiveness to people in my life, I have to first receive it and receive it often. There will be moments, probably every day, where we fall short of the mark, where we lose our temper and hug the anger cactus. We need to cultivate the habit of asking God for mercy and going to confession frequently so we don’t become prisoners of anger or bitterness.
Lastly, re have to re-distribute God’s mercy to others. We can’t just hold onto it for ourselves. One of the truths of forgiveness is the more we give it away, the more we receive. Just as we have freely received mercy from God, even though we didn’t deserve it, we must give it away to those who have hurt us. We cannot have the attitude of holding onto anger and grudges until the other person “earns” our forgiveness. We are forgiven by God in the same manner we forgive others. So, best to give freely so as to receive freely!
It’s no secret that anger is flowing all around us these days. With a perfect storm of pent-up frustration from COVID-19, racial tensions, a presidential election year, and a non-stop news cycle that promotes constant outrage and division, many of us are walking around with tremendous amounts of anger and tension within us. I am convinced, in many cases, we aren’t even aware how tightly we are embracing this destructive emotion until we take the time to reflect more deeply. Perhaps it would be good to end this homily asking the following questions: Is there someone with whom I am deeply angry or that I hate? Was there a situation from many years ago that had a negative impact on my life? Or maybe it is a recent offense that is gnawing at me? Do I feel entitled to hold onto a grudge or feed hatred in my heart? Or maybe I hate myself. Maybe I did something terrible many years ago and have believed I cannot be forgiven, at least not until I “pay the price.” Am I mindful of the things that lead me into anger and provoke my wrath? I think we, as modern people, are addicted to outrage which is constantly enabled by the 24 hr news and social media. For many of us, this is a near occasion of sin! There is no moral obligation to know every single current event and political story happening around the world! If our efforts to stay informed are leading to anger, despair, and a loss of peace, we need to stop embracing those things.
The readings say very clearly, "Let go. Let go of the battle stories. Stop hugging anger and hatred." Forgive those who hurt you and insult you. No exceptions. This hatred has turned our lives into a prison. It has been the chain that holds us back. We are called into the joy of the Lord. We need to offer up our anger and move onto mercy. We need to trust in his promise of forgiveness, especially in the sacrament of confession. We need to let go of the list of grudges and wrongs we have suffered. The result of giving and receiving mercy will be the freedom of the daughters and sons of the Lord: freedom from anger which destroys body and soul: freedom to Love!
