As this pandemic drags on, I’ve noticed it’s become more difficult for me to preach. It’s certainly not because the Word of God fails to apply to our times; I see now, more than ever, how relevant the Scriptures are to the challenges we face. It’s not because I am apathetic or don’t want to put in the work; sometimes it seems like the harder I try, the more the right words escape me like a bad case of writer’s block! It’s not because I am having a crisis of faith or believe God has abandoned us; I know he is near and will never leave us alone. So what is my problem? What is happening within me that has caused some of you to ask why I look preoccupied or concerned instead of peaceful and joyful? What has changed inside that has made its mark for all to see? So much so that one of my friends said to me, “you finally look old!” What great friends I have!! Perhaps many of you can relate with this experience of spiritual drudgery, dread, and dissatisfaction that never seems far away during these past months.
Something in our first reading gave me a hint about what is going on. Isaiah is preaching to the remnant of God’s people who are barely hanging on during their exile in Babylon. They used to be a mighty nation and now they are slaves in a foreign land. They used to have fine food and drink and now they would be happy with anything that could fill their bellies and drive away their hunger and thirst. They just want to go back to the way things used to be. If they could just have that, they would never complain again! Does anything of this sound vaguely familiar? A prophet preaching to a people whose whole world and way of life have been turned completely upside down in the worst possible way?
It is to this reality that Isaiah shares his heavenly message of hope and consolation. God doesn’t want to return his people to what they had before. He wants to give them something even better. He doesn’t just want them to have enough to live; he wants to shower them with abundance, provide them food and drink that prevents hunger and thirst forever. The people must have been intrigued by this offer but also wondered what in the world God was talking about. You and I, with the luxury of 2500 years, know he was speaking about the Eucharist. God was preparing his people for the incredible gift you and I enjoy! But the gift isn’t free! What does it cost? Not money! No earthly treasure can buy it; no human effort can earn it. The conditions are simple but difficult for us prideful and independent humans: “Come to me heedfully, listen, that you may have life.”
This line from Isaiah convicted me. In order to receive the food and drink that will satisfy my hungry heart and thirsty soul, I must obediently follow Jesus and listen quietly, faithfully, and let him lead me. Do you know what I have often done instead? I have gone after the food that fails to satisfy. Far too often, I have checked the news a dozen times instead reading the scriptures. I have left my phone on while in prayer and let it distract me with every little ring, ding, and notification. I have let myself worry about how we need to fix this COVID mess, the disaster of American politics, the tragedy of social injustice and violence in our communities without going to God first and asking how he would have me start.
I have tried to placate my unease with social media, woodworking, work and other projects. After all of it, I end up more hungry, more thirsty, more tired and weary than before.
These, and many more, are the things that fail to satisfy. The hidden blessing of COVID-19 is that it is exposing the things you and I used to rely on to distract us from the deep spiritual hunger we have for God. This pandemic is showing us the things we thought we could count on and control for a happy life can be wiped away in no time. If those things can’t guarantee us happiness, what can? Who can?! Only God! He is the spiritual food and drink, most perfectly received in the Eucharist, that really addresses our deepest spiritual longings.
For you and me, for our world and our church, suffering is not the real problem we have to eradicate. St. Paul reminds us forcefully in the second reading that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Not anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword! St. Paul would know! He endured all these things and more yet only grew more spiritually strong and secure in his faith. Why? Because he was being fed at the table of the Lord’s Word and Sacrament. Most importantly he was not placing his trust in the nourishment this world offers.
We would be wise to reflect on the question of the first reading “why waste your money on food that does not satisfy?” We can re-phrase it for our times with something like this, “What is the food you are eating right now that does not satisfy but instead makes you feel empty?” Is our diet full of junk food like non-stop news, toxic politics, superficial social media, shopping, movies, music, etc…? What do we keep pursuing but when we get it, still doesn’t fill the emptiness we feel? Might we consider letting God feed us first? How many hours do we spend on the internet or Tv or phone just killing time or doing trivial things? Would we instead make sure and read from the bible first before going to these things? Or could we come up to church any day of the week and spend the time we would give to a show, give it instead to God in prayer, listening heedfully? Or if we are uncomfortable going into church, why not sit in the car in the parking lot for a little while, connecting with God and showing our desire to be as close to him as physically possible? Are the things we are doing right now, to get through each day and each week, are they lifting us up, bringing us hope, filling us with joy, and making us better people and better Christians?
I know there are things I need to change in order to feel God’s joy, hope, and confidence with whatever may come. I need to go to him first. I need to let him feed me with the true bread and drink of eucharistic prayer. If I can do that before anything else, then there will not only be enough to satisfy my hunger, there will be more than enough left over to feed others as well. If this resonates with you and where you are right now in your life, please do the same for your good and the good of those around you.
