It makes me feel old, but almost 10 years ago I saw a wonderful film that’s still fresh in my mind. The movie is titled “Buck” and revolves around the life of Buck Branneman, one of the real-life inspirations for Robert Redford’s classic, “The Horse Whisperer.” Buck is a world-renowned horse trainer who concentrates on reassuring the animals and gaining their trust instead of the traditional approach of breaking their will and dominating them. This might not sound too exciting or noteworthy except for one detail. Buck’s approach with horses was born out of his terrifying situation growing up. As a child of an abusive, alcoholic father, Mr. Branneman lived in fear and trembling for much of his childhood. He and his brother were often violently beaten for imagined offenses and failings. It wasn’t until a high school coach saw the scars of his father’s beatings that he and his brother were removed from their dysfunctional home and placed in the care of nurturing foster parents. It was here that Buck began to learn how to care for horses. It was here that he experienced the healthy fusion of love and discipline which would heal his troubled past and prepare him to address the dysfunction of both humans and horses.
It is this relationship of fear, hurt, and healing that runs throughout the movie. Buck is a man devoted to training horses and their owners without fear and building a relationship of trust between man and beast. He believes it is only within this context of gentle firmness and empathy that an animal can be relieved of fear and brought to its full potential.
What was striking about the movie was the power of fear. How terror could make an animal completely unapproachable and dangerous. How the fear of the unknown could cause a horse to hurt itself and others. How it could paralyze a powerful creature and cripple its potential. Just as amazing to watch was the power of kindness and patience, which slowly melted away those fears in both humans and horses and allowed both creatures to share the best of themselves with each other.
Now I am not an emotional person nor am I necessarily an animal guy who gets all choked up when “Ole Yeller” or “Marley and Me” comes on TV. But I have to admit I was moved and my eyes sweated a little at several points in the movie as this cowboy tamed the power of fear and opened up new possibilities in animals that were previously thought to be hopeless or beyond training.
This movie also resonates with me in terms of my priestly ministry. One of the greatest joys in my life is getting to know so many of you in meaningful ways. Time and time again, I have been humbled and moved by the goodness of the people in this parish, your generosity, your desire for holiness, your openness to the truth, and your great love for your priests. But as I watched this movie, it also reminded me of the great fear that I have seen in many of you when it comes to going deeper in your relationship with God, especially in the sacrament of reconciliation. And even those who frequent the sacrament of confession, how often we relate to God in fear, afraid of what he might ask of us, afraid of how he might take away something we think is essential to our freedom or happiness.
In our first today, from the Book of Wisdom, the author marvels at the gentleness of Almighty God when he writes:
But though you are master of might, you judge with clemency, and with much lenience you govern us; for power, whenever you will, attends you. And you taught your people, by these deeds, that those who are just must be kind; and you gave your children good ground for hope that you would permit repentance for their sins.
Our responsorial psalm continues this theme with its refrain “Lord you are good and forgiving” and its praises of the merciful attributes of our saving God. Even St. Paul gets in on the action when he writes: “Brothers and sisters: “The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.”
There is no need for us to live in cringing fear of Almighty God. Both Scripture and history are full of examples of his mercy, love, and forgiveness. The greatest expression of this can be found in the fact that God sent His perfect Son to suffer and die on the cross for our sins. As if this wasn’t enough, he instituted the sacrament of confession as the way to experience his forgiveness and to relieve us of our shame and weakness. We are able to to take advantage of his gift as often as we like, we can never exhaust this fountain of Divine Mercy.
And yet so many of us are afraid to grow closer to God and go near this saving sacrament. Why do we shy away from the One who seeks to love us and heal us of our wounds? I know for some of us it has been years, even decades, since our last confession. Perhaps it was because of a bad experience, a crabby or unkind priest. Maybe we are embarrassed by our past sins, ashamed of our present struggles, or unable to remember even how to go to confession and what to say. And if we were simply dealing with another human person, I might say that these were pretty good reasons, solid excuses. But we are dealing with something even greater. In confession, we are coming face to face with the love of God, the gift of his mercy, conveyed sometimes very imperfectly, through the priest, but conveyed nonetheless whenever we hear those beautiful words: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
The fear that limited the potential of the horses in “Buck”, the fear that caused them to hurt themselves and others, which paralyzed some of the most majestic and powerful creatures on earth, well, that fear threatens to dominate our lives as well. And many of you know exactly what I am talking about as we carry around the weight and shame of our past sins. We know, deep down, the longing for freedom, for renewed trust and love with others and God, but we also know how hard it is to take that first step. So I want to encourage all of us today to embrace God’s mercy. He made us, He knows us, He loves us, and he wants to set us free! There is not a single one of us here, not one, who is beyond his healing and forgiveness.
I say all of this, not from a place of judgment, but as one who has and continues to experience the mercy of the sacrament of reconciliation. I too know what it is like to be afraid and to be set free from that fear! At the end of the movie, Buck says something powerful, in regards to his insight about building trust. He says, “If you got a taste of what I’m talking about, you couldn't get enough of it. You’d rather do that than eat. You may spend your whole life chasing it, but it’s a good thing to chase." How much more true is this about God’s mercy! “If you got a taste of what I’m talking about, you couldn't get enough of it. You’d rather receive that than anything else. You might spend your whole life chasing it, but you don’t have to. It is right in front of you, ready to be yours, as often and whenever you ask for it. Let’s not wait another day!
