The opening phrase of today's Gospel is troubling, especially if we take it at face value. Can Jesus really be telling us to hate the ones most near and dear to our heart? Can the One who professes to be the Way, the Truth, and the Life also insist that we hate our own lives?
This is one of many places in the Gospel where Jesus speaks using something called hyperbole, which is a tactic of using shocking imagery to catch the listener's or reader's attention. Jesus says we cannot be his disciples if we come to him without hating father and mother, wife and husband, children and parents, brothers and sister, and even our own lives. This is shocking and catches our attention. It probably even makes us shake our head in confusion.
So, what’s this about? The Lord is not telling us to ignore the Fourth commandment of honoring our father and mother. He is not telling us to refuse to see God in others. He is waking us up with hyperbole to make sure we don’t miss the demands and sacrifices that come with being His disciples.
There was a Dilbert comic strip that illuminated this gospel teaching in a humorous way. As many of you know, Dilbert is a comic strip about office workers with an incompetent, pointy haired boss, people of various abilities, and all sorts of other characters.
One character is a woman who is continually late for the morning meeting. One of her co-workers decides to challenge her.
The strip starts off with the woman saying: "Sorry, I'm late. Traffic was terrible."
The co-worker asks: "Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible this time of day?"
The woman says, "Exactly. That's why I'm late every day."
The co-worker continues: "Do you see any way you could fix that?"
The woman: "Well, I can't control the traffic."
Co-worker: "You could leave earlier."
Woman: "Then I wouldn't get enough sleep"
Co-worker: "You could go to bed earlier."
Woman: "Then I wouldn't be able to watch Netflix until two in the morning,
An uncomfortable pause is followed by the woman asking: "Do you want me to hate my life?"
The co-worker sighs: "I didn't until now."
Her lifestyle was keeping her from her work. It is not that there is anything wrong with Netflix (if there is, then I’m in BIG trouble!). The problem is that it became more important to her than her job. Her love for it has gotten out of proportion. So, in her case, she should hate her current way of life and anything that keeps her from doing what she needs to do. Just as we should hate anything that keeps us from doing what we need to do first and foremost: Love and serve God.
The parables in today's Gospel tell us we have to have a plan for how we are going to live as Christians. Things won’t fall into place on their own. We won’t become saints and faithful followers of Christ by default; in fact, because of original sin, on our own, we will become the exact opposite. We have to ask ourselves how we can best prepare ourselves and the world for the Lord. We have to stop and look at the many threads of our lives and consider how they are woven into the whole cloth.
What are some of those threads? We have work or school. We have families and friends. We have sports and hobbies. We have our bodies. We have to exercise, eat properly and take care of ourselves. Most important, we have those whom we love and those whom we need to seek out and love. All these are the threads that make up the fabric of our lives and each needs to be cared for in the right order and proportion. If we are not constantly examining these different parts of our lives and adjusting the proportion they claim of our hearts, we are in big trouble!
We also have to consider the parts of our lives that are tearing us away from who we need to be. This means we have to make hard choices. Maybe we need more sleep and less social media, or more family time and less time before a screen. Maybe we need fewer office projects, school commitments, sports teams or the million other activities that keep us away from those who have a right to our love and full attention.
To be a disciple of Christ means to constantly move beyond the eternally-insignificant things we throw into our lives and make time first for the things of God. When Jesus speaks about hating father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters and even our own lives, He is using hyperbole to shock us and get us to pause to examine our lives for anything or anyone that causes us to lose our focus on Him.
One final reflection: Think of all the time, energy, passion, love and hard work you put into the things and people you value most. Our athletes know the amount of sweat, discomfort, soreness and sacrifice that they have committed towards the goal of making the team. Students know the amount of time, concentration, study, repetition, and sacrifice that goes into getting good grades. Friends and spouses know how much is invested in their relationship with their beloved. How many days, weeks, and years have gone into their relationship, the sacrificing that takes place so the other person knows they are loved and valued. The long process of learning how to communicate and understand the other person and building up trust. Those of you with established careers know the pain of putting in long hours, taking the jobs no one else wanted to tackle, of being a team player and working with difficult people.
In all these cases, we are willing to sacrifice so much to accomplish a good thing that is important to us. Can any of us say that we put at least the same amount of focus, energy, passion, and effort into loving and serving God? I’m not talking about more, just equal amounts! When I thought about this question, writing this homily, I was humbled. I keep my appointments with near-perfect dependability but how often I skip prayer or cut it short? I return emails and phone calls religiously but struggle to talk to God throughout the day. I am current with news and even some celebrity gossip but its like pulling teeth to do spiritual reading. I am proud of how much I have grown as an administrator, woodworker, and human over the last several years but can I stand before God and say the same about my growth as a Christian? I confess that this gospel shows me I have much to work on or, to put it more accurately, there is much in my life I need to surrender to God.
Nothing is more important than loving and serving Him. Not our stuff, not our likes, not our position among peers, our accomplishments, or even the people in our lives. We cannot allow anything to stand in the way of being disciples of Jesus Christ. Jesus, help us to give you the best of what we have and who we are and then trust you will place everything and everyone in our lives in the right order for lasting peace, joy, and love.
