One of the great blessings of my priesthood was the opportunity to live and work with Bishop Hermann for the two years I was assigned to the Cathedral Basilica. Bishop Hermann, as many of you know, was also the pastor at Incarnate Word for something like 15 or 16 years. Part of my assignment was to help him, especially when he was running the Archdiocese for the period of time after Cardinal Burke moved to Rome and before Archbishop Carlson arrived. We spent lots of time together going to confirmations, award ceremonies, prayer breakfasts, school masses, and so many other things I didn’t know Bishops did. (It made me certain that I never want to be a bishop!) Bishop Hermann is a blessing to be around. He is a pretty energetic guy, completely genuine and down to earth. Best of all, he is endlessly joyful and optimistic. Sometimes I would just shake my head as he told stories, interrupted by constant laughter, about how he blessed a person who cursed him or insulted him or rejected him because of his beliefs as a Christian. He seemed to be completely unfazed by the anger, hatred, and mean-ness he had to absorb as a bishop and representative of the Catholic Church.
I really wanted to know his secret, how he not only kept a healthy blood pressure in the face of insults, unfair judgments, and slander but then even found joy in the midst of it all. These ugly, hurtful things had no effect on him even as they made my blood boil.
Bishop Hermann told me, and he would tell any of you, that he wasn’t always this way. He had a nasty temper; he could fly off the handle and cause people to run for the hills. A defining moment came during the term of our 42nd president. Bishop Hermann noticed whenever he saw that person on TV or heard his voice on the radio, his heart would fill with dark thoughts, insults, and not-so-Christian words. His disdain for the president (whose policies and personal life were not the model of Christian values) was starting to eat away at Bishop Hermann. His peace and joy were being stolen away.
By the grace of God, Bishop Hermann came across a talk by a minister on something called unilateral forgiveness. The concept is simple and it comes right out of the readings for this weekend. “Love your enemies”, “Pray for those who persecute you”, “turn the other cheek”, and “go the extra mile” when someone demands something from you. Most difficult of all, ask God to bless the people who speak badly of you and try to destroy you. My gut reaction whenever I hear this gospel is more like, “Are you kidding me!!”
First of all, we have to acknowledge that unilateral forgiveness is not a natural response to hatred and persecution. It is supernatural, which means we can only do it with the help of God’s grace. But God loves to spread that grace freely, Jesus says it will be poured into our lap with overwhelming generosity. All we have to do is ask. And we see lots of real people practicing this amazing grace of forgiveness and blessing: David, who shows mercy and respect to Saul, even as the King keeps trying to kill him out of envy. Jesus, who blesses his enemies and prays for them, even while they are crucifying him on the cross. The apostles and so many martyrs, pray for the very ones who kill them and are able to die gruesome deaths with peaceful joy instead of bitter agony.
There is great power and freedom in unilateral forgiveness. Imagine what it would feel like to not lose your joy and peace when people are nasty and thoughtless and do things like cut you off on the road, or gossip about you and spread rumors, or even deliberately try to hurt you and make your life difficult? What if you and me could float above the fray? What if our happiness was not affected by even the most terrible actions of other humans? That incredible peace is not only possible but actually demanded by Jesus.
In the gospel, Our Lord forcefully tells his listeners and us, to stop judging the hearts of others and to respond to every instance of hatred with love, to curses with blessings. Most powerfully for me, is the line where Jesus says, “the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.” What a simple but challenging formula to live by! God gives us the equation he uses in dealing with humanity; it is directly controlled by us! Jesus couldn’t be any more open and transparent about it! So, when I curse the person who insults me or says untrue things to others about me, I am telling God, “give me the very same for all those times that I do wrong; let me be cursed.” Or, when I am mistreated and judged and I pray that the offender be blessed and filled with every good thing, I am telling God, “give me that same blessing, even when I have done wrong and been a sinner.” Which one sounds better to you? I think the choice is pretty easy, even if doing it out is much harder.
To wrap up, let’s go back to my experience of living with Bishop Hermann. That man’s joy is real; it’s not some sort of superficial, naive, kumbaya-mentality. When he prays for those who have hurt him, he means it and he wants God to overwhelm them with blessings. I am nowhere near that level of unilateral forgiveness but I am working on it. Sometimes I catch myself asking God to give people a taste of what they’ve dumped on me. Then I notice I lose my peace and joy. That vindictive attitude doesn’t fulfill me. Even my body pays a price by becoming tense and unsettled. But I thank God for those two years at the Cathedral. Because now I notice when I go down that road of bitterness and retribution. And with God’s help, I pray for my enemies, for those who don’t like me, who don’t respect me and I am overwhelmed with a deep, abiding peace that cannot be taken away, even by the worst of what people can do. It really works!
If this is hard for you, start by forgiving your enemies just for the sake of your own happiness. God will still be happy to send the grace. Treat yourself! Stop holding grudges; they only punish you. Just like any skill, unilateral forgiveness takes practice to make perfect. Let’s start right now, at the offertory. When I am preparing the bread and wine at the altar, let’s place every person who has hurt us in any way on this altar. And then as I lift up the bread and the wine to heaven, let’s ask God to bless, in whatever way he sees fit, those same people. If we do this, as strange as it seems, we are calling down blessings upon ourselves and I guarantee you will not have to wait until heaven to experience the peace and joy God will send your way!
