Holy Families Are Not Always Perfect Families (Holy Family 2018)

To listen to this homily, click here.

There is something special about this time of the year, as we gather, both with our nuclear family but also with our faith family, to celebrate these Christmas mysteries. It is hard to describe, but people are different, in a good way, during this wonderful season. Of course there are always stories of someone going nuts and punching someone over a toy or stealing packages off a porch, but, by-and-large, people radiate a sense of kindness, generosity, and concern for others in this time where we commemorate Jesus’ birth. 

The months of November and December are special for the Schroeder family. Not only do we have the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, but my mom and dad’s birthdays as well. This means lots of time together as a family, which has become more sacred as we have gotten older. One of the main activities every time we are reunited, in addition to eating, is catching up, telling old war stories, sharing new adventures, and of course, marveling at how we turned out so wonderful despite having such demanding parents! This extended time together during the holidays, always causes me to take a step back and reflect on how grateful I am for my family. Not only for their support, friendship, and love, but also because it’s where I was formed into who I am today. There is something sacred about our families, not because of their perfection but because of how fundamental they are to our identity as individuals. If there was one thing I hope all of us could take away from this feast today, it would be that holy families are not always perfect families. Rather they are schools of love, mercy, compassion and kindness.

The Feast of the Holy Family reminds us that Jesus grew up in the normal busy-ness of family life and he was shaped as a person by both Mary and Joseph. Pope Francis wrote in a reflection that the family is “where we learn to live with others despite our differences and to belong to one another.”  That very belonging to each other and working through differences is what today’s readings are about.

In the first reading, from the book of Samuel, we hear about Hannah who conceives a son in answer to years of prayer and then when he was three years old, dedicates him to the service of the Lord in the temple. She surrenders the custody of her precious child to Eli, who will raise him and train him until he becomes one of the most righteous men in the history of Judaism. Her words could be the gold standard for any parent who wants to raise a saint, ”I prayed for this child, and the Lord granted my request. Now I, in turn, give him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the Lord.”

It all sounds perfect and completely out of touch with our own experience unless we know the backstory. Hannah had a very difficult marriage with Elkanah, who, quite frankly, was a jerk. He had another wife, who mocked Hannah for her inability to bear a child. When Hannah went to Elkanah for consolation, he was defiant and said something along the lines of, “why do you need a child when you have me? I am as good as 10 sons!” When she is blessed by God with the birth of Samuel, she knows this child is not hers but God’s and that is why she gives him away to the temple once he is old enough to be separated from her. Adding to the drama, she does not ask Elkanah for his permission or blessing but tells him this is how it will be. This is probably not our idea of what a perfect marriage or family looks like, but the Church gives us this reading to remind us that holiness is found in situations that are less than perfect.

We also see tension in our gospel, with the most perfect of families, when Jesus wanders back to Jerusalem and the temple, unbeknownst to Mary and Joseph. For three days they are separated and we can only imagine how heartsick they must have been. It’s bad enough to lose your child but when that child is the Messiah, well, that doesn’t look good on a resume?! When Mary finally finds her almost-teenager, she says to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”  It is not hard to recognize her words to him as a scolding. How is the doctrine that Jesus is without sin compatible with this story in the Gospel about his mother having to search for him for three days?

An intriguing answer to this question is offered by Dr. Eleanor Stump, a professor at St. Louis University, She says,”The answer lies in the explanation Jesus gives his mother. He says to her, “Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?”

'Jesus thought his mother understood his relation to God and his need to be in God’s temple. He was wrong on this, but it’s a kind of wrongness that shows something sweet in him. He is giving credit to his mother for more knowledge, more understanding, than she has. Therefore he is not dishonoring her when he takes off for three days without a word. On the contrary, Jesus is in fact honoring her by thinking of her as if she had His own knowledge and relationship with his Father.

What a thought?! Even the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph had to work through misunderstandings and assumptions! Even though they were never malicious or sinful, each of the members of Jesus’ family had to learn and grow in the knowledge and love of each other! How encouraging for us as we work through the ups and downs of family life day after day!'

Our faith lives and our family lives converge in the most ordinary places.  Sacred times happen around the kitchen table, putting the children to bed for the night, and a million other unremarkable moments.  Jesus is present and joyful in the family traditions and rituals we have developed, in prayers together before meals, and in the special new customs we may have created as our families have grown older and welcomed new members.

Becoming a holy family is never easy or simple. Our lives are complicated and most families have to deal with some degree of dysfunction, hurt feelings, or old wounds. But Paul’s letter to the Colossians offers us the tools we need to care for each other as he tells us to put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Paul must have learned a lot from his family as he notes other important skills, like “bearing with one another” and “forgiving one another” which seems like the best advice on those harder days. When we share a home, we not only have to forgive each other, but also need be aware that we need forgiveness as well, prompted by the example of God’s loving forgiveness for us all. 

Today let us thank God for our families, imperfect though they may be, and believe that, in them and through them, God wants to make us holy and share his love, peace, and joy!

The Christmas Jest (Christmas 2018)

The story is told about a priest who spent weeks preparing his Christmas homily. By Christmas eve he had it perfectly composed. But the priest was still nervous as he saw people beginning to arrive two hours early and - as was his custom - he took a shot of whiskey to calm his nerves. Well, this Christmas homily was a big one, so he took a second shot, and then a third. He went to his room to finish getting ready and when he came back to his office, the priest could not find his homily. He searched all the desk drawers and shelves, but it was nowhere in sight. He even went through the trash can and recycle bin. After searching for half an hour, he became frantic. It was almost time for Mass to begin. He knew he could not give the homily without the text in front of him. Finally, in desperation the priest lifted his eyes to heaven and prayed, "Lord, help me find my homily. If you do, I will never drink another drop of whiskey." When he looked down, there, right in front of him - as if by a miracle - he saw the homily. He lifted his eyes back up to heaven and said, "Never mind, Lord. I found it myself.”

Now, I promise that priest wasn’t me….. at least not this year…but I wanted to begin with a humorous story because it ties in with the theme of this Christmas homily. The English writer, G.K. Chesterton referred to Christmas as a "sacred jest." A jest is a lighthearted, playful joke. A good joke involves bringing opposites together in unexpected ways. The little story we just heard contained the contradiction between the priest's eagerness to receive something from God and his hesitation to give anything up. We laugh - or at least smile - because we recognize a similar struggle inside ourselves. 

Christmas brings together the greatest of all opposites: God surrenders his power to become a helpless infant. The One who lives in the freedom of eternity, binds himself to a specific time and place to save humanity. God, the perfect, all-powerful, all-wise, unchangeable Being - takes on corruptible human flesh. And, as we hear in our Scripture readings, He who is pure light has entered our world of darkness and gloom - to bring us hope and joy. This is greatest jest of all. Chesterton expressed it in a memorable rhyme:

And on that sacred jest // the whole of Christianity doth rest.

When I say Christmas is a jest or a joke, it requires some context. Oftentimes, when we hear that word, we think of derogatory jokes, jokes that offend or hurt others by provoking a laugh at someone’s expense. When we say something or someone is joke, we are usually referring to this sort of humor; no one wants to be the butt of that kind of joke. 

But there are also jokes that are healthy and good, jokes which make us laugh without making us feel bad about ourselves or others. These are the jokes with a punchline that surprises us, often with an unexpected, over-the-top conclusion. These are the ones that make your drink fly out of your nose, the laugh-til-it-hurts kind that come out of left field. Christmas is that kind of joke or, as Chesterton calls it, a sacred jest. The world was waiting for a savior who would be a serious, mighty, warrior-king. No one expected a helpless baby from the podunk town of Bethlehem. The ones at the receiving end of this Christmas jest are sin, evil, the devil, and anyone who is too proud to see God’s wit and wisdom. The punchline of Christmas is that what often appears wise to human minds is utter foolishness to God. What is that wonderful saying? “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

To be Christian requires a certain sense of humor. We have to be able to see the oddness in our world - and in our self-made plans. And to laugh, or at least smile, at our existence which is often full of opposites and Divine surprises. Chesterton is often credited with saying: “angels can fly because they know how to take themselves lightly.” How often we take ourselves a little too seriously and act as though the weight of the world and work of our redemption rested on our shoulders. Don’t we all, at times, try to tell God how to do his job and attempt to control him according to our very limited knowledge. Christmas is a reminder that God’s ways are not always our ways and anytime we act as though we know better than the Lord, the joke is on us.

Even though jokes aren’t strictly necessary, they enrich our existence and bring us joy. In the same way, God did not need to create the world, but he did - and he pronounced it good. God did not need to redeem humanity after Adam and Eve messed things up in the Garden but He wanted to because He is crazy about us! Likewise, in order to save us, God did not need to become a tiny baby, but He did - and the angels sang, “Glory to God in the highest”.

Christmas is the celebration of that completely unexpected, historic event when the Divine broke into human history as a helpless infant in a manger. Christmas is the story of opposites coming together in a way no one anticipated: St. Athanasius phrased it perfectly when he said, “God became human so that humans could become God.” Tonight/today we celebrate the most delightful joke of all, the sacred jest of Christmas. This holy joke does not make light of us or God’s majesty but instead turns the tables on evil and darkness and the wisdom of this world. We want to get the punch line, to revel in its joy, and allow it to move us forward in unshakeable happiness.

As we approach the manger, why don't we ask him for a holy sense of humor - the ability to take part in this sacred jest? Tonight/today we come to Bethlehem to laugh - or at least to smile with joy and delight- before the Infant God. In this newborn Babe, we see God knows best and humbly acknowledge that sometimes he unravels our plans to reveal his own. We thank God for moving towards us in the most unexpected ways and believe that hope, peace, and joy are never far away.  

Rejoicing No Matter What! (3rd Sunday, Year C)

One of the bad habits I have while reading the news online, is scrolling down and looking at the comments at the end of the article. I consider it a bad habit because I know I am not going to gain any new insights. If anything, there might be a funny joke or witty play on words but, more often than not, most comments end up being frivolous, rude, and forgettable. As some of the news stories have gotten darker, especially involving loss of life with natural disasters and mass casualty tragedies at concerts, schools, nightclubs, and places of work, there has been more and more commentary against God and prayer. For example, when someone writes, “our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims of this disaster.” More and more individuals are replying with something like: “keep your thoughts and prayers.” If God could do something or actually cared, he wouldn’t have let this horrible thing happen to these innocent people.” The essence of their message is, “prayer doesn’t do anything; God can’t or won’t help you; it’s up to us to solve this problem and make things right.”

What’s troubling to me is the increasing animosity in our culture towards the role of God and faith, especially in the face of human suffering and tragedy. There seems to be a growing feeling that offering prayers and having faith in God are not what will get things done and help people. More and more, there appears to be a false choice laid before us: either do something to help or say your little prayers and trust in God. But you can’t do both!” Of course we believe that nothing could be further from the truth and instead of making these two things an either/or, they ought to be a both/and.

This tension has been around a long time. Our first reading, from the prophet, Zephaniah, is an encouragement to the people of Israel to rejoice and be filled with hope. We might not think that’s such a big deal until we understand the background of this passage. Zephaniah was writing at a moment of great hardship for Israel. They were under attack and their world was falling apart. The people didn’t know it then, but things were about to get even worse! There were many in Israel saying that faithfulness to God and prayer were no longer working. It was time to take things into their own hands because God wouldn’t save them, they had to save themselves. In the chapters right before the passage we heard, the prophet is reminding his readers that the day of the Lord was coming and on that day, God would judge each person according to their faith in Him. Those who were faithful would be able to rejoice and all would be made right. Those who did wrong and hurt others and defied God would have to answer for what they did and would be punished. 

St. Paul continues this theme of faith and joy in our second reading as he commands the Philippians to rejoice always by letting their kindness be known to all. He tells them not to be anxious but to pray to God for everything and then they will enjoy a peace beyond understanding. We might be tempted to think that this is easy for St. Paul to say, but he had no easy life. He was writing this from prison and he had already experienced incredible hardships for the gospel, including being beaten with iron rods, shipwrecks, nearly been stoned to death, and had many times been hungry, cold, and persecuted. And yet he still felt joy and peace and commanded the Philippians to do the same!!

This hope and joy is not just some sort of naive, happy face to be put on each day. We don’t make it happen on our own. In fact, the sort of joy described by Zephaniah and Paul is a by-product of a deep faith in God and his love for us. St. Paul and Zephaniah believed, beyond all else, that God was bigger and stronger than any bad thing that could happen in this world. No worldly power could defeat him and even if it appeared that evil was winning, and both of these guys saw a lot of evil happening around them, they still had faith that God was going to make things right before it was all said and done. Maybe it wouldn’t happen in their lifetime but it would happen in God’s time and that is the only time that matters. All they had to do is remain faithful to the Lord and he would sort out the rest. 

If we want to rejoice always, we have to pray for more faith. Faith allows us to look past our sufferings and setbacks as well as the sufferings and setbacks of others, to the fact that this pain is only temporary. Faith gives us the patience and peace to know that the most important battle has already been decided: death, the devil, and evil cannot win. When we start to feel sadness, discouragement, or depression, and boy are there a lot of reasons to feel that when we look around the world today, we must remember the example of Paul and Zephaniah and beg the Lord to increase our faith! 

One last thing about the faith we need to live joyfully. It has to be lived out in our actions. Today’s Gospel outlines the steps to getting there. When people ask John the Baptist what they must do in light of his message of repentance, he gives surprising simple advice. He tells them to do the ordinary things related to their everyday lives but to do them well: Share with the person who has less, don't cheat, tell the truth, no false accusations, find satisfaction in what you have. In other words, be kind, fair, and compassionate to others. 

Many times, we are willing to do the big things for God. We like the extraordinary moments of discipleship because they are exciting and make us feel good and sometimes other people notice them. But God tends to like acting in small ways. Throughout the Scriptures he chooses the weak, the youngest, the despised, the nobodies to do His Will and reflect his glory. It wasn’t a famous queen who become the mother of Christ but a lowly virgin named Mary. And how did God enter the world to defeat Satan and redeem the world? Not as a mighty warrior king but as a little baby, helpless and utterly dependent on Mary and Joseph!

If we believe, we can rejoice always, in good times and in bad, when things are going our way and when the hits keep on coming. So rejoice always in Lord! No matter what your circumstances right now, the Day of the Lord is coming and he will makes things right for all who believe in him!

Do You Have FoMO?! (2nd Sunday of Advent, Year C)

To listen to this homily, click here.

Have you ever experienced a strong sense of anxiety because you might be missing out on a great party or similar event? Have you ever had a nagging fear that maybe your friends are doing something without you? This feeling can put you in a terrible mood, it can lead you to check your phone compulsively for messages, and many people will get on social media to see what their friends are doing to make sure they didn’t miss something incredible. This experience, this feeling, has a name. Even though I think it sounds more like a cartoon character, it is no joke. The word is FoMo (F-O-M-O) and it is an acronym for the phrase “Fear of Missing Out.” FoMo is something that most, if not all of us, have felt at some time or another. It is something that teens and young people are especially familiar with because of the ways social media pervades modern life. And while the word “FoMo” might be something relatively recent, the feeling is as old as the human race. All of us hate to miss out on something good or interesting. That’s why people rubberneck on the highway after an accident. They don’t need to see it but wouldn’t it be terrible to drive past something everyone might be talking about? That’s why people run out to scoop up great deals on things they don’t really need or can’t afford. It would be wrong to pass up such a bargain! Or, some of my friends are going to do something I don’t enjoy but I want to go anyway because I can’t stand the idea of them having fun without me. I could give more examples but you get the idea.

The reality is that people lose sleep over this stuff. FoMo keeps many people from enjoying the good things they actually have while they worry about something that may not even happen. Truthfully, most of things we fear missing out on, while they seem important at the time, really aren’t that significant. 

A good question for us to think about in this brief Advent season is this: Are we as worried about missing out on spiritual opportunities as we are about social ones? Are we paying as much attention to the invitations God is sending us to spend time with him as we are to the invites and evites from our friends and family? Are we equally anxious about missing out on the incredible deal to receive forgiveness of our sins, to experience peace and joy in a personal relationship with God, as we are about something on Black Friday or Cyber Monday?

Honestly, probably not. Most of us, myself included, often have FoMo over the wrong things and as a result, we miss out on what is truly important and worthwhile. Fear of missing out on trivial things leads us to become neurotic and needy. It makes us paranoid and suspicious and makes it hard to enjoy the blessings we have.

By comparison, when we have a holy fear of missing out on the good things God wants to give us, we become more grateful and in tune with the gifts we have received. When we are on the lookout for God and his blessings in our daily lives, amazing things happen. We can find goodness in situations where others only see hardship. We begin to see a silver lining in places of defeat, disappointment, or hurt. There is nothing negative that can’t be turned around or redeemed or blessed by God. 

Fear of missing out on the right things is the beginning of holiness. It’s what propelled the saints to make the most of their gifts, their lives and do their part to make the Church and world a little bit better. 

We see this principle at work in our readings this week. Baruch, who was the right-hand man of Jeremiah, is exhorting the people not to give up. Even though their entire world has been destroyed and they are in slavery. He doesn’t want them to miss out on the coming of God, who will defeat their enemies and restore them to a place of peace, joy, and blessing. John the Baptist is doing the same thing as he preaches his baptism of repentance. He quotes the prophet Isaiah as he encourages all who hear him to, “Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths. Baruch and John realize that the kingdom of God, just like life itself, can speed right past us if we are not vigilant and watchful for its presence. They don’t want us to miss it so we are told to prepare a road, a path, a highway, so the love and glory of God can travel as fast as possible into our heart, mind, and soul.

Consider the spiritual opportunities we have right now. Do we realize we have multiple options to experience God’s complete forgiveness in the sacrament of confession? Or that we can receive the Eucharist any day of the week at daily Mass here or at any one of the many parishes nearby? Each of us has the chance to show God’s love to the people around us with a kind word of praise or affirmation, a mindful act of kindness, or a thoughtful prayer for someone who is hurting. These, and many more, are the occasions we have to love, forgive, and grow for our benefit and the good of others.  

Advent is an opportunity stop and think about what gives us FoMo. What are we afraid of missing out on? Even if they aren’t the correct things, there is still time in this beautiful season to make things right, to prepare the way for the Lord when he arrives anew in our hearts this Christmas. May we fear missing out on the proper things, the most important things this advent season so we can grow in holiness and receive the abundant blessings God wants to share with us. 

YourSuffering Won't Last Forever (1st Sunday of Advent)

To listen to this homily, click here.

For high school, I went to a college-prep boarding school that was also a seminary. At the time, there were only three places in the US where a young man could go to start studying for the priesthood while in high school and this was the closest, located in Hannibal, Missouri. As you can imagine, there was not a huge number of guys ready to make that commitment and live away from home, with strict rules, no girlfriends, no cars, and only about 14 hours of unscheduled time each week! In fact, during my years there, there were never more than 30 students across all four years but we were still expected to field a basketball and soccer team to play against the other schools in the area. As you can imagine, we were terrible. we made a lot of other bad teams feel great about themselves. I suppose one benefit was that we practiced a lot of humility, whether we wanted to or not. 

One of the things that sticks in my memory from those futile sporting days was the conditioning drills the coach would put us through. The worst were the sprints! At the end of practice, he would line us up and have us run as fast as we could until he blew his whistle, then we would stop, recover, and begin again when he blew the whistle once more. The worst part wasn’t even the sprinting, it was not knowing how many sprints you had to do, how long each would last, and how long you would get to recover in between.

Human beings can endure tremendous hardship when they know what or who they are suffering for and when it might end. It is the uncertainty that can break a person’s resolve.

The readings this weekend are all about hanging in there and not giving up. They are God’s version of a pep-talk where he tells us to keep fighting, keep struggling because we are almost through the worst of it. 

In our first reading from the book of Jeremiah, something terrible is happening. For the first half of the prophet’s ministry, he goes about warning people to repent, to listen to God’s commands and stop putting their trust in worldly kings and power. He warns them if they don’t listen, the worst possible things will happen. Well, the people don’t like Jeremiah’s message and they don’t listen to anything he has to say and of course they reach a point of no return. They back the wrong king who gets defeated by the Babylonians who then punish Israel by destroying their cities and sending them away to Babylon as slaves. This is a full-on armageddon type of disaster and Jeremiah is right in the middle of it. The second half of Jeremiah’s ministry is passing along God’s consolation, where the Lord essentially says, “I tried to warn you and you didn’t listen so you had to be punished. But this punishment won’t last forever. Just stay faithful to me and I will make things right.”

In the Old Testament, God loves to speak through the signs and actions of his prophets. In the chapter right before today’s reading, the Lord tells Jeremiah to go buy some land. Keep in mind that Babylonian armies are closing in on Jerusalem. They are burning cities, slaughtering populations, and shipping the survivors away as slaves. This is not the time you would expect for a real estate deal, although I suppose it was probably a buyer’s market! Jeremiah does what the Lord asks, buys the property and then puts the deed into a jar and buries it. When people ask him what in the world he is doing, he tells them this is their sign, that a time will come when they return and claim this land once again and that deed will mean something. Their punishment and suffering will not last forever. In other words, hang in there! 

Something similar is happening in the gospel. However, for Jesus’ disciples, life is great right now. Even though the Scribes and Pharisees want to put him to death, he is a fan favorite, working miracles, healing the sick and drawing huge crowds wherever he goes. As his inner circle, the followers of Jesus soaked in all this praise and glory and some of them even argued amongst themselves who was the greatest. But Jesus sees what is coming, He knows his victory will only take place on the cross after indescribable agony and suffering. He knows the confusion and fear that will follow for his apostles who, like the people of Jeremiah’s time, wanted to follow an earthly model of kingship and power. Their world will be shattered as they face persecution, exile, and even martyrdom for what they believe. Jesus’ words today, at the beginning of our Advent season, are words of hope in the midst of darkness. He doesn’t pull punches. “Terrifying times are ahead. People will die of fright. Nations will be in dismay.” But you, you who believe and follow me. Stand up straight, lift up your heads because the time of redemption is near!” 

The apostles didn’t get it at the time, when everything was still going great. But once Jesus is crucified and they are persecuted, they will reflect on his words and understand that he was encouraging them not to give up. He was telling them their time of suffering and pain had a limit and would not last forever; all they had to do was be faithful, keep holding on, and things would eventually get better.

This message is just as relevant for you and me today. We see a lot of bad things happening in our world and tremendous human suffering everywhere. There seems to be corruption and selfishness at every level of power. Even in our Church, we see horrible things that have taken place and innocence lost. It seems to get closer and closer to home like the poor woman murdered at Catholic Supply two weeks ago. It can be tempting to chase after worldly power to solve these problems and make things right. Or we can think that fear is the new way to survive as we withdraw from the world and just hope everything will pass over us. But a better way is given to us in this first week of Advent from the words of Jeremiah and the wisdom of Jesus: 'Hang in there! Times will get dark, things will get rough. But they will not last forever. Stay true to me, lift up your heads and one day you will see, I will bring victory and joy where world only saw pain and defeat!’ 

The rest of this short advent season is deepening our belief in this promise and remembering the many ways God has always kept his promises, albeit in unexpected ways. May we join with the psalmist in saying, “To you, O Lord, I lift my soul.”