I will freely acknowledge I was a somewhat-unusual child growing up. There were things that bothered me; things most children probably didn’t even notice. One example was the cast iron stack in my family’s house. Nowadays, these pipes, which carry all of the wastewater out of the home, are made from PVC plastic. But until 30 years ago, they were made out of heavy cast iron. The stack in our childhood home was starting to rust all over and it drove me crazy. With my parents’ permission, I took a wire brush and scraped all the rust spots off the pipe and then applied a slick coat of black spray paint. It looked as good as new. For about a month. Then the rust spots reappeared, right through the new paint, again and again, no matter how many coats of paint I put on. I was frustrated until my dad explained that the pipe was rusting from the inside out and could never be fixed from the outside. The water had slowly compromised the inside of the pipe over the past 40 years and that damage was finally starting to show on the outside. Only replacing the pipe would fix the problem.
Two weeks ago, our nation was rocked once again by a mass shooting in Parkland Florida. This was just the latest in an increasing number of violent attacks in places that have been traditionally regarded as safe havens for learning, leisure, and worship. Before Parkland, there was Las Vegas, before that there was Sutherland Springs church in Texas, before that the Orlando nightclub, preceded by San Bernardino which came after the movie theater in Aurora Colorado and Sandy Hook. The sad list goes on and on. Now, more than ever, there is an outcry to make this stop. Punish the NRA. Get rid of semi-automatic weapons, high capacity magazines, and bump stocks. Raise the age to purchase firearms, do more rigorous background checks, do something, pass some sort of law to make it safer for everyone.
These are noble intentions and I think we all agree we want our schools, churches, and public places to be safe. The frustrations and fears that erupt after each occasion of senseless slaughter are understandable. The need for something to change is real. Sadly, the current conversation is woefully insufficient. The answers we seek, the safety we crave, the peace and respect we long for will not be a quick fix and won’t come about simply through the actions of congress or some sort of magic law. That is like me scraping and painting that old pipe in our house. That is trying to fix a problem from outside. It might make us feel better for a while, it might appear to be the answer. But the rottenness is much deeper and very few people seem to be willing to talk about it. But we must if we want to stop hearing about these horrible massacres.
The deeper problem is the moral health of our nation, most especially in the fundamental building block of human society: the family. Our families are under constant attack from many forms of anger, violence, indifference, and selfishness; many children breath this poisonous air, day after day. Over the course of years and generations, this begins to affect the whole fabric of society, whether we like it or not and becomes a sort of incubator for violent acting-out.
Consider some alarming facts and patterns. You and I live in a nation that has, in the last 40 years, sanctioned the deliberate murder of 60 million unborn babies through abortion in what is supposed to be the safest of all places, their mother’s womb. If a society allows its most defenseless members to be dispatched under the pretense of law and freedom, is it so shocking that troubled individuals now feel entitled to snatch that so-called right for themselves as they callously snuff out the lives of others with no seeming regret?
As our culture continues to push a “me-first” mentality, is it any surprise that more and more children are born into unstable families, uncommitted relationships, and single parent situations? More and more children in America are growing up in broken homes and a culture of toxic stress, disrespect, and domestic violence. Most of these children will never commit a crime. But many will end up living in poverty. Suffering addiction. Feeling emotionally neglected. Being homeless, in insurmountable debt, or chronic unemployment – or a combination of these things – trapped in lives without the opportunities others take for granted.
The connection between the breakdown of the family and the serious social issues that plague us is well-researched and well-established. But many people don’t want to talk about it or confront it because it means confronting something that is very personal to each of us: how we choose to live our lives and what our priorities are.
The elephant in the room is marriage. Would it surprise you to know that, on average, children who are raised in stable homes with both parents do better? Children from divorced parents, or whose parents never married in the first place, do worse – whether that’s in terms of lower levels of social mobility or higher levels of poverty. Of course, averages have exceptions. The sacrifices of so many single parents are heroic and selfless. Many children from broken homes do well. Some of my dearest friends and family are examples of this. But that shouldn’t blind us to the overall picture. A few decades ago, over 90 percent of children were born to married parents. Today it’s less than half. No matter what your political or religious leanings are, we should all agree that it would be better for our society if our families were healthier and whole, if each person were challenged to think about others before themselves, and begin taking personal responsibility for their actions. Strong families —— and individuals with virtue and integrity are the foundation of a strong and prosperous society.
As always, our faith gives us hope. Following Christ each day gives us the strength to challenge the parts of our culture that have become selfish, dangerous, and hostile to life and human dignity. The example of Jesus in the temple from today’s gospel, reminds us that we cannot sit by and just throw up our hands in despair. Zeal for God’s plan of salvation, zeal for the dignity of every human person, zeal for the flourishing of our human families must consume us and move us to action.
No one should ever be afraid to go to school, see a movie, worship at church, or attend a concert. That safety can never be guaranteed by simply passing more laws or taking things away from others. It only happens when human beings share mutual respect for each other and value the life and rights of their neighbors as much as they do their own. This lesson begins in the home and is strengthened by faith. Take this week to prayerfully reflect on your own family. Make it a place of virtue, generosity, service, and respect. Make it clear that each person in your home is appreciated and loved. Be accountable to others and take responsibility for your actions. This is the way of peace. This is how we stop the cycle of violence and bloodshed in our world.
