Before I begin the homily today, I first want to wish all of the Fathers present a very happy and blessed Fathers’ Day. Please know of our gratitude for your faithful witness and willing self-sacrifice, which has been so formative growing up. After communion we will offer a special blessing for all of our fathers in appreciation.
What is it that makes a man? Is it determined by the car he drives, say, a big truck with tons of torque or a fast coupe with obscene amounts of horsepower ? Is it related to having a massive collection of tools on his workbench for every job and being able to fix anything? Is it decided by the grooming products he chooses? If so, it seems guys better choose Calvin Klein, Gillete, Armani, Axe, and Old Spice! Is it bestowed on males who make a lot of money, hold important jobs, or reach a certain rank? Does one have to reach a magical height, retain a certain amount of hair, wear certain clothes, or have larger than average muscles and lower than average body fat? I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
In our culture, there are many different opinions on what makes a man. Some of these come from companies, trying to market their products by preying on fundamental male insecurities. Other views come from different cultural traditions and family customs. Still others come from religious sources, both progressive and traditional.
It seems that all these ideas boil down to three basic theories or possibilities of what defines a man. They are as follows:
- A man is someone who is brutishly strong (emotionally, physically, mentally). To fit this description, the man is defined by being able to dominate, take what he wants, and keep others in line on account of fear and brute strength. The more macho, the more manly. In this view, men don’t cry, they don’t ask for directions (ever), they should avoid apologizing even when they know they are wrong, and they should run from feelings, pedicures, and skinny jeans like their life depends on it. This view could probably be described as somewhat traditional but on steroids.
- A man is a helpless fool. He is like an overgrown infant, hardly able to tie his own shoes or contribute to his family. In fact, if it weren’t for his hyper-resourceful wife and perpetually-annoyed children, this man might not be able to survive. This view of manhood, often depicted in children’s shows and commercials, sees the man as a cosmic joke, emasculated, and burdensome. He is patiently tolerated by those who must care for him and deal with his countless mistakes and buffoonery. This is the complete opposite view from the first.
- A man is simply a grown-up adolescent. He is forever stuck in his high school or college glory days of goofing off, hanging out with buddies, and trying to have a “good time.” This man lives for the weekend when he can escape work and responsibility. He dreams of expensive toys, man-caves, sports (real or fantasy), fishing, hunting, and trying to hide from a nagging spouse, who always finds something he does wrong. This view is a strange mutation of the first two.
These three ideas might seem outlandish and exaggerated. We may wonder who would take any of them seriously! But I would encourage you to look for these three caricatures of manhood the next time you see a commercial, watch a movie or show, or read a magazine. These false definitions are all around us!
There is, of course, one other ideal of what it means to be a man. It is open to every male, regardless of income, pedigree, or any other worldly measurement. This model produces true men in every respect but is ignored or rejected by many as foolish, outdated, and impossible. This ideal is embodied in the person of Christ, who, while remaining God, came among us as a man. Because God does nothing halfway, Jesus is literally the perfect man. By imitating his example and following his teaching, those with the XY chromosome do not have to search blindly for what it means to be a true man. There is actually an objective standard!
So, what qualities do we see reflected in Christ, most powerfully, Jesus on the Cross? We see a man who is strong, so strong in fact, that he carries the world’s sins on his back. He is powerful too. He can change water into wine, heal the sick, and raise the dead. However, he never uses his strength or power for his own selfish gain, rather he puts it completely at the service of God and neighbor. All of his works point back to God and help to alleviate the suffering of those who are sick, poor, ignored, and unwanted. Jesus is also decisive; he is not wishy-washy or weak. He is not afraid to teach or lead, always doing so by example. He does not take advantage of those who are vulnerable but protects. His tendency is to give rather than take. He is generous, merciful, compassionate, just, and honest. His actions are defined by calmness, kindness, warmth, and justice. He brings out the best in those around him, he empowers them with his patient guidance.
If this sounds too good to be true, too impossible for our men, well, it is….if we try and do it by ourselves. The virtues on display in the person of Christ, are available and attainable for every man who gives himself, both the good parts and the bad ones, over to God. Like clay in the hands of a most skilled sculptor, The Lord can and will make something magnificent out of our lives. Our world, our Church, and most importantly, our families need Christian gentleman as our dads, spouses, brothers, bosses, co-workers, priests, and friends. On this father’s day, let us lift up the men in this church, the men in our families, let us lift them up to God in prayer and support them in their call to be the face of Christ for us and for the world. Nothing could be better, nothing could be more manly!
