By now, some of you may have noticed that I like to do things according to the book. I am a rule-guy, an oldest child of a chaotic family who craves order, guidelines, a return to his Germanic background. I find rules to be comforting and helpful and I try to follow them. When I was newly-ordained, I called my mom for advice. I said, “Mom, this weekend is Mother’s Day, but it is not a church feast day.” Should I preach about the readings and ignore Mother’s Day or talk about Mother’s Day and break the rules, so to speak. My mom, in her wisdom, was able to clear things up in one sentence. She said: “ Kevin, you have to say something about Mother’s Day otherwise you WILL suffer the wrath of countless women in your parish.” Having ten sisters and a mother, I knew exactly what she meant. So, today, on Mother’s day, I want to do more than simply mention my gratitude to all of you moms out there. I want to devote this homily to thanking you and challenging us all to treat you with even more love and respect.
This suggestion was just one of many things I learned from my mom, from women over the years. As I have gotten older, I better understand the sacrifices my mom made to bring 14 kids into the world. In the past few years, my mom has shared with us more about the danger, the pain, the strange cravings, the unusual maladies, the physical discomfort, and other hidden details that accompanied the months leading up to each child’s birth. With 17 nieces and nephews, I have also heard my sisters talk about their pregnancies and what they are going through and all this helps me understand the reason this day is so special. There are few things in this world as deep, as beautiful as a mother’s love! What makes this love so unique? The high level of sacrifice, the complete gift of self, the significant emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual price that is paid to bring new life into the world.
A mother’s love is special and cherished because it is costly! Imagine how different things would be if God designed motherhood to be as easy as picking up a good turkey at the grocery store! What would this day look like then? Would we feel the same way about mom? I don’t think so! When a mother loves her child, she gives the world a glimpse into the very love God has for us! Motherhood is a reflection of God’s Love for us which sacrifices everything so that we might have life, here on earth and in the world to come. God’s love holds nothing back, even sacrificing his only Son, Jesus, so that we might be saved. This is what makes Divine love perfect; it gives everything without hesitation.
On this day where we thank our moms and those women who have loved us without measure, it is a good idea to ask ourselves if we, as a society, are doing our part in returning that love. Is the love we show to women, to our moms, sisters, daughters, true and sacrificial? Is it meaningful and willing to embrace any difficulty? Or is it lazy, looking for what is easy and convenient? Far too often, I believe society is asking women to settle for that lesser love.
There are many things attacking the dignity and well-being of women in our time. These, sadly, are accepted by many as the way things are. These include pornography, domestic violence, and the objectification of the female body. It is ironic that our society calls us today to honor motherhood while at the same time promoting the very practices that attack the dignity of the women we wish to show our appreciation for.
Now there are many other evils in our society that are detrimental to women. But I want to focus on one in particular because it is quietly causing incredible damage. It is devastating to all people but it is harming women most deeply. Therefore, on this Day dedicated to moms and women, let’s honor them by considering what we can do make things better.
The evil that I want to approach is also the most difficult because it is considered a good thing by many. It is thought to be off-limits, something the Church shouldn’t talk about. It has been hailed as the liberation of women, the thing that levels the playing field against men. It was seen as the solution for many domestic problems and a new beginning for every female. It would give her control and power, she could be in charge without being subjected to men. This evil is found in the panacea known as artificial contraception.
Since its introduction in the pill more than 50 years ago, artificial contraception has been touted as the answer to so many problems that plague modern women. It was supposed to improve marriage, marital intimacy, free women from the natural rhythm of their bodies. It promises many good things, it looks so perfect, and yet there continues to be a deep spiritual sadness and the nagging emptiness of being used.
Why is it that our society has encouraged women to embrace contraception, which attacks the feminine nature or “feminine genius” as St. John Paul II called it? Why is it that so many women have accepted birth control as something that will make them happy, give them control, and make them equal with men? Yet, how often the very opposite comes true. More and more, women are seen as objects for men’s pleasure; things to be had on a whim without consideration for the woman or her body. The very thing that was supposed to empower women has led countless women to be used and hurt. The hallmarks of femininity, such as the reception of new life, a nurturing spirit, and quiet gentleness are being replaced by anger, bitterness, and domination.
If there is one thing I want every woman, single or married, young or old, to hear, it is this: you deserve better! You deserve the respect of others! You deserve the respect of men for whom you are a daughter of God, a sister in Christ, or a beloved spouse. This respect should be given freely, not based on the pleasure you provide or the ways you measure up against worldly expectations. You deserve to hear from the Church and from a priest, that artificial contraception is a moral evil, it is lie that will only bring sadness, emptiness, and pain.
As a woman you share the privilege of bringing new life into being. Allow this truth to take root in your life and don’t be afraid to respect yourself enough to demand this dignity from others. As men, we need to honor and cherish women as God created them. As a Church we need to support men and women in bringing forth new life and growing in mutual love and respect. This will strengthen marriages, fortify families, and build up society. On this Mother’s day, let us be thankful for the incredible gift of woman and motherhood, and may we honor and respect them in every situation.
