Ducks in a Row (2nd Sunday of Advent, Year C)

 To listen to this homily, click here.

Our recent cold snap with snow, wind, and ever darker days reminded me of the one time I went duck hunting with a parishioner. Even though we didn’t score any kills, I learned quite a bit about duck calls, decoys, the importance of warm, waterproof clothing, and a good dog. I was also educated about the role weather plays in your odds of success, keeping your eyes on the sky, and not being too quick on the trigger. All in all, a very enriching experience, although I am glad my meal wasn’t tied to the end result.  

Strangely enough, lying in wait for migratory birds also reminds me of a story about a group of software designers. They were using mysterious technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor. One engineer said the programming that had been ordered wasn’t ready yet because the vendor was suffering from a “severe nonlinear waterfowl issue.” Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, “What exactly is a ‘severe nonlinear waterfowl issue’?” The engineer replied, “They don’t have all their ducks in a row.” Whether you are looking at the sky from a watery blind or trying to implement a new software program, it is always good to have your ducks in a row!

On this second Sunday of Advent, John the Baptist comes to ask us if we have any “severe nonlinear waterfowl issues” in our lives? Do we have all our ducks in a row for the coming of the Messiah or are there things still left undone and relegated to the “I will get to that tomorrow” pile? Luke tells us that the coming of John the Baptist is the fulfillment of the prophecy of Isaiah: “The voice of one crying in the wilderness:  ‘Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill shall be brought low, and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough ways shall be made smooth.’” There are countless ways we can get our ducks in a row this advent season but allow me to suggest three:

#1, We need to prepare the way for the Messiah in our hearts: We do this by filling in the “valleys” of our souls which have been hollowed out by a hurried, shallow prayer life and a minimalist approach to living our Faith. We do this by straightening any crooked paths we’ve been walking, especially by examining habitual sins or unholy relationships.  If we have been involved in some dishonest practices at work or hurtful habits at home, we are called to straighten them out and make restitution. If we have been harboring grudges, nursing hatred, or failing to be reconciled with others, now is the time to clear away all the debris that blocks the grace of God. If we have been pushing God off to the side of the road, if we have been saying we don’t have time for Him, now is the time to get our priorities straight. And we all have to level the “mountains” of pride and selfishness. Whatever blocks or slows down the grace of God, now is the time to clear it out!

#2: We need to repent and seek forgiveness from God and our fellow-human beings: John’s message calls us to confront and confess our sins. We have to turn away from them in sincere repentance in order to receive God’s healing grace.  There are two main reasons why people who have recognized their sins fail to receive forgiveness for them. The first is that they refuse to repent in the sacrament of confession, but the second is that they fail to forgive. Jesus is very explicit about this Mt 6. He says, “if you forgive others their transgressions, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you.”  Is there someone I need to forgive today? Someone, whose pardon I need to ask and pray for?  We must not let what others have done destroy our lives. We can’t be forgiven unless we forgive as well. We must release our bitterness if we want God to do His healing work in our lives. Holding grudges has best been described as drinking poison and hoping our enemies will die.

# 3: We need to accommodate John the Baptizer in our lives: This means we must take an active role in our ongoing conversion. We cannot just pray for grace and hope to wake up radically changed and “fixed” by God. The Lord will indeed give us grace to grow closer to him and others this advent season but then he will also send us opportunities to put his grace to work. In other words, we will have to practice and struggle. This is often messy and uncomfortable, much like mastering a new skill or learning something we are not naturally good at! It takes work! Some practical suggestions could be: Make peace with someone you’re at odds with. Pick up the phone and talk to somebody you haven’t contacted in months or years. Offer a compliment to the person you are inclined to criticize. Speak up when you hear our Catholic Faith being attacked or misrepresented. Give, not out of your leftovers, but out of your substance. Add another 5-10 minutes to your prayer and just sit in silence with the Lord. We can all find new ways to show God that we really wish to change and make it easier for Him to come into our hearts. But it must be more than good intentions and vague resolutions.  

God is so good to each of us and he is constantly pouring grace and opportunities into our lives. He does this because he loves us without measure and the challenge of John the Baptist is one more manifestation of that divine affection. Take the time to quietly examine your relationship with God this advent to see what valleys need to be filled in, which hills need to be knocked down, and what crooked ways can be made straight. God’s peace, joy, mercy, healing, forgiveness, and salvation are waiting for those who are willing to get their ducks in a row!

A Heart Too Small and Too Full (1st Sunday of Advent, Year C)

  One of the things we started a couple years ago in the parish office is a spreadsheet we call the “Baby-tracker”! Whenever a parishioner tells us they are expecting, or one of their friends shares the good news, or we hear about it through social media, we write that family’s name down along with their anticipated due date. Why do we do this? First of all, it allows us to pray with our families, for a safe and healthy pregnancy. It also helps us to reach out to see if they need anything, especially after the baby is born, perhaps meals, clothes, or whatever else. Finally, it lets our families know that we share their joy, anticipation, and excitement as they welcome new life into the world.

This same sort of joy, anticipation, and excitement for the arrival of Jesus, the Son of God and Son of Mary, is what our Church hopes to foster in us during this brief, advent season. However, our perennial preparation for the Word Made Flesh is not the only arrival of Jesus the Church wants us to prepare for! In addition to commemorating Jesus’ coming to earth as a baby, the advent scriptures also remind us to get ready for the final coming of Jesus as a most perfect, just, and powerful judge. In this final coming, Jesus will bring to completion his work of redemption, rewarding all those who remained faithful to Him and His Church while putting an end to the reign of sin, punishing all who made evil their good. 

Advent is a preparation for both. And while it is much easier to get excited for the arrival of the Christ-child, to ignore the return of Jesus as ruler and judge is to be only be half-prepared. In fact, in today’s gospel, Jesus warns his listeners to stay watchful and awake so the day of visitation doesn’t catch us off-guard like a thief in the night!

So, the all-important question…what will we be judged on?

St. John of the Cross, great saint and mystic, says we will be judged on love alone. Jesus is not fixated on legalistic rules or gotcha moments. What will determine our eternal destiny is how completely we loved God (who deserves to be loved with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength) and how well we loved others (trying give them the same love that God first gave us).

The word “Love” in English has been highly polluted. The same word is used to describe the affection we have for people, places, and things, ranging from sports teams, hamburgers, and vacations all the way to family and friends. The love we will be judged on is not so much affective (how strongly we felt it). No, our love will be judged on how effective it was. What did it produce? Did it lead others to grow closer to God? Did it make us into better people? We will be asked, “What did your love do? Did it give glory to God? Did it feed the hungry, clothe the naked, comfort the afflicted, welcome the stranger and all the many acts of mercy?

St Paul knew how crucial this life of love was for every single Christian. That’s why he prays for the Thessalonians today that they may increase and ABOUND in love for one another and for all. We might understand St. Paul as saying, “may you overflow with love for all.”

This, of course is a wonderful desire but very difficult to live out for a lifetime. I think there are two main things that keep us from abounding in love:

1. like the grinch (and often my clothes this time of year), our hearts are often two sizes too small! Anatomically speaking, the heart is a muscle, the only organ classified as such. But spiritually speaking, our hearts also follow the same principles as physical muscle, which is: use it or lose it! If our hearts are not constantly challenged, if they do not push back against the relentless tendency to think of ourselves first and choose selfishness, they will weaken, shrivel, and contract. A heart that is too small becomes selfish, cowardly, and cold. 

So what helps our hearts to expand and grow strong? In a word, sacrifice, thinking of others before ourselves. The irony of christian charity is that we receive more love, the more freely we give it away. Our happiness increases the less we focus on it. I have seen this happen in each of my siblings as they become parents and their hearts increase beyond what they ever thought possible. The best of them is drawn out as their heart is stretched to love their children and every new parent says, in their own way, "I never knew I could love another person this much!!”

2) The second thing that keeps us from abounding in love is that often, like a hoarder’s house, our hearts are too full; there is no room for Jesus in our lives. 

In our materialistic society, the room in our hearts can be completely stuffed with things. One of the benefits of priesthood is that we get moved fairly often and we live where the Archbishop tells us. Most of the rectories are much smaller than the one we have here and it forces us to get rid of lots of things. Things we forgot we even had! I am struck by the ever increasing number of storage facilities everywhere I drive. It is a symptom of our struggle to fill our lives with more and more things which leaves less and less room for Jesus.

Another area where we fill our hearts to the very top is in the area of control. We have a plan and there is literally no room for Jesus in it. Perhaps that shows itself in our schedule. Daily prayer doesn’t happen because there are too many other activities to do first. Weekly Mass is inconsistent because other commitments take priority. More and more couples are choosing to go childless because welcoming new life into their home threatens their freedom and independence. For myself, I see this temptation appearing in the form of resenting interruptions. It’s easy to create a timeline for my day, my week, my life and when Jesus presents himself in the face of others who need my help, who ask for my attention, sometimes simply for a compassionate ear or human warmth, I don’t want to be bothered. Why can’t people make an appointment? Don’t they know how much stuff I need to do?

Finally, our hearts can be filled to the brim with unholy desires for satisfaction and fulfillment from worldly things. This never-ending quest is fed by a lack of gratitude for the things and people in our lives. In this state, the more we have, the emptier we feel. As a result, we long for the next great thing, another new experience, or a perfect relationship that will make us happy. Meanwhile all that we have becomes a burden and a blockade to welcoming Jesus, who approaches us in the most gentle, non-threatening way he can: as a newborn baby and the only cure for our restless hearts.

As we enter this holy advent season, we can focus on just one thing: are we abounding, overflowing with love? Are we prepared to welcome Christ the newborn king and also Jesus, the just judge? Where might he find our hearts too small at this moment? Where might he discover our hearts too full with our worries, obsessions, addictions, and possessions? Now is the time to confront these things face to face. Now is the time to give unto to others so God can grow our hearts more like his. Now is the time to clear out everything that crowds out love for God and his people, especially the ones he has placed right next to us in our daily lives. Now is the time to abound in love!!

Is Christ Our King Yet? (Christ the King, Year B)

  The intrigue of kings and queens, the secrets of royal life, and the cutthroat politics which take place within the walls of the palace have always captivated people. There is an enduring quality to stories of kings and queens, princes and princesses, whether they be real or fictional. King Arthur, Queen Elizabeth, Henry VIII, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, King David and King Herod are just a few. In all these stories, real or imagined, one thing stays the same: there can only be one ruler, one king, one queen. Sharing the power might be a nice idea and begin with good intentions but it never works out. Sooner or later there is a struggle for the crown and people must make a choice about whom they will serve.

While the monarchy isn't a great political model because of human weakness, it is the best model to describe how things work in the spiritual reality that governs heaven and earth. Jesus IS King of the entire universe, whether we choose him or not. Jesus will rule over all things, places and people at the end of time, whether we chose to serve him or not. Morality and the authority of Jesus are not something we decide or vote on. He is Lord of all but he lets us choose to whom we give our allegiance. 

There can be only one king at the end of time and there is a massive battle going on even now to establish the everlasting kingdom. This battle started when satan and his angels rebelled against God. It reached a new level when Adam and Eve rejected God and chose sin. Back and forth it continued until the decisive moment when God became man and died for us on the cross. From that moment on, the victory was won for God and his faithful. Jesus WILL reign, forever more, forever more, as the song says. You and I happen to live in the final stage, when things are wrapping up. Human history is moving towards Jesus’ return once and for all, where he will judge heaven and earth and give eternal glory and happiness to those who served him during their life while eternal shame and punishment will be given to those who served other lords.

As a general rule, most of us feel comfortable saying Jesus is king and lord of our lives. We wouldn’t be here in church if we didn’t agree with at least most of what he teaches and expects of us. But this feast calls us to examine our lives closely, for Christ the King must rule over every aspect of our lives, every dimension of our mind, body, and heart. We cannot serve other masters and still be his. So how can we evaluate our loyalty in a way that’s honest, open, and yet not driven by guilt, shame, or self-hatred? The key is to remember that Jesus loved us and died for us before we ever existed. He made the choice to give everything for us even if we would reject him in the future. His love is unconditional and the only reason he doesn’t want us to serve other kings is because he knows it will lead to our destruction and unhappiness. 

With that being said, is Jesus king of all aspects of my life? Is he Lord of my mind? Do I use my mental gifts, to learn more about him and his Word? Am I expanding my knowledge of the faith, no matter how young or old I am? Do I use my capacity to think in a way that helps others and glorifies God? Am I developing my intellect as a well-rounded human being and making the most of my time as a student? Or does something else rule my mind? Am I mentally lazy, just vegging out in front of a screen? Or more consumed with increasing knowledge of things that are less important or not important at all? If there are areas of my mind that are off-limits to Jesus, where he is not allowed to enter, then he is not yet my King.

What about our bodies? They are temples of the Holy Spirit and made in the image of God. At the end of time, they will be raised up and reunited with our souls, either in heaven or in hell, depending on our choices. Do we show our loyalty to Christ the King by the way we dress, the way we eat and drink, by respecting our body and the bodies of others? Do we reverence the gift of our sexuality as a treasure entrusted to us by God, as something to be protected and honored rather than exploited, redefined, or used for selfish pleasure? For our married couples, are you open to the gift of life and generous in responding to God’s invitation to be co-creators with him? Are there parts of us that are ruled by addiction, excess, self-indulgence, or lust? If there are areas of my body that are off-limits to Jesus, then he is not yet my King.

Last of all, what about our hearts, which guide our relationships and the things and people we choose to love? Is Jesus allowed into the way we love other people? Do we have concern for others, especially the poor, the sick, the unborn, the hurting, the ignored, and inconvenient? Do we keep the good things of life, like money, possessions, and careers in their proper place; never allowing them to become idols or using them as an excuse to trample the rights and dignity of others? Do we see each person as another Christ to be loved, respected, and cared for? Do each of our relationships help us and the other person grow closer to God? To put it most simply, would we be comfortable having Jesus alongside us as we interacted with our friends, family members, co-workers, and strangers? Or would he see us as impatient, unkind, manipulative, selfish, angry, or cruel? If there are any relationships or parts of my heart that are off-limits to Jesus, then he is not yet my King.

As I was reflecting and writing this homily, I realized how much I need to work on. I have a divided heart in many ways. Sometimes, I like to keep Jesus out of parts of my mind, body, and heart. It is difficult to give him free reign because I think I can do better or I just want things my way. But that is ultimately self-sabotage. Jesus is no ordinary King. He is not even simply a good or great king. He is the King of Kings, savior and shepherd, our Lord and lover who will never misuse his power and authority in any way. He is not content to be one king among many. Our time here on earth is short and now is the time to choose which king we will serve for all eternity. Let’s ask God for the grace and faith to open every part of our lives to Christ the King because he will be victorious and reign forever more! 

Wisdom of the Widows (32nd Sunday, Year B)

  One of the greatest honors of priesthood is being invited into peoples’ lives, often at the bookend moments which are either the happiest or saddest a human experiences. Every weekend, it’s really incredible to look out and know so many stories, represented in the faces seated in the pews. I smile inside when I catch a glimpse of the couple I married a few years ago who are still holding hands and crazy about each other. My heart is full when I see parents wrangling unruly toddlers who are trying to escape church because years earlier they asked me to pray for a healthy pregnancy. I also see people whom I visited in the hospital after a health scare, who received the anointing of the sick and now are back in action, full of new life and energy. And finally, I see many who have a lost a loved one and are walking through the various stages of grief. It’s hard for me to believe, but in my time at IW, I have celebrated more than 150 funerals and those stories always stick with me. Most of all, I am moved by the widows I have served as a priest. More often than not, there is a certain grace in their sorrow, an openness to God in their loss, and an honesty about the vulnerability and uncertainty which lies ahead. There has never been a good time to be a widow, but in the ancient world, it was pretty much the worst fate that could befall someone. It is only recently that social programs and safety nets were put in place for those who lost not only their beloved spouse but also their protector, provider, and advocate. For this reason, widows have a special place in God’s heart throughout the Scriptures. Over and over again, God sends prophets to call for their protection and condemns those who take advantage of their desperate situation. In Luke’s gospel, Jesus raises the son of a grieving widow and today he praises another for her generosity and trust. What might you and I learn from the example of the two widows presented in our readings?

What I first notice about both of them is that, despite their tremendous loss and hardship, they maintained a connection with God. So often, when things go wrong for us (sometime it only takes a trivial thing), we begin to doubt God’s love and goodness. Tragedy that is filtered through the lens of “why me” or “this is not fair” often moves us to pull away from God and even forsake him completely. For those who are able to hold on to faith, even in the worst moments of heartbreaking loss, there is the ability to walk with God, even in the darkness which gives no answers. The widow of Zarephath practices hospitality towards Elijah, even though she is down to her last bit of flour and oil, because her faith tells her that in welcoming the stranger, one might be ministering to God himself. The widow in the temple continues to give, even though she too is down to her final reserves, because somehow she still realizes and acknowledges all that God has done for her. Even in tragedy, even in hardship, even in poverty, these women live generously. When there is nothing left to give, they give a little more! 

Faith simplified these women. Trust brought them to a place in their poverty that carved out a capacity for God and a generosity that defies caution and conventional wisdom. Sometimes, my heart can get so cluttered that there is little capacity for God. If I actually stop and do an "inventory" of my heart, I discover all kinds of desires there, all sorts of attachments, a wide variety of hostilities and judgments, and most of all, a list of worries, tensions and fears. Even though I might turn to God in prayer to give me what I want and remove what I don't, I can't always say my heart is full of the Lord. It takes honest reflection to discover the many ways our possessions and our plans possess us. Our needs and our anxieties quietly erode our capacity for trust.

St. John Paul II captured this holy disposition of the two widows in a phrase called the law of the Gift. This spiritual principle is counterintuitive but it states that you become more fully human, more alive, and more completely the person God made you to be to the extent you give yourself away. If you want to save your life, lay down your life. It is in giving that we receive. Abundance comes from the willing gift of who I am and what I have to others and to God! 

In that place of total trust in God, the jar doesn't go empty and the jug never runs dry. Then, instead of asking God to take away my troubles or punish my enemies, I'm asking God to help me to be a source of joy, comfort, assistance to others, to help me be generous because I now see all those who are in greater need than I am. When we are hooked onto the one, true God, who is pure gift and love, we can give and give and we will not run empty.

Now, the opposite is also true. If I cling to substitutes for God, if I turn things into God that are not God, I can hoard all the wealth, power, fame, and pleasures possible and it will still not be enough. I will still feel empty and insecure. 

With these readings today, we could ask for the grace to be able to give more from the deepest reserves of who we are and what we have. We get God’s love by giving God’s love away. We can ask, who needs this kind of generosity from me. Who in my family needs what I had instinctively feel is more than I could give? Who in the world, in the church, in this parish needs my generosity, not from my leftovers but from my deepest reserves?

Can we imagine being this generous, this free? We can only get closer to that place by asking for these graces boldly, by letting God love us into freedom, by letting our Lord convince us that our real happiness will be in letting go of more and more, and falling into the hands of a loving God - who keeps faith forever, who protects and provides for widows, and who sets captives free.

Shema is for All! (31st Sunday, Year B)

At first look our readings might seem a little dry; I certainly thought so when I started wrestling with them. Then, as I read a commentary on the original text, I was blown away at what is being said to us in the Scriptures. I will try my best to give you the clifnotes.

In the first reading, it appears Moses is mainly telling the people a whole bunch of rules. "Fear the LORD, your God, and keep, throughout the days of your lives, all his statutes and commandments which I enjoin on you.” How many laws and commandments were there? Most of us would say 10 because we remember that great story where Moses comes down the mountain with the two stone tablets inscribed with the commandments. Ah, but that is not all of them! Over time, there would be 613 commandments from the law of Moses. Why so many?! Remember the story of Adam and Eve? God gave them only two commandments: “Be fruitful and subdue the earth, and eat of any tree except the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil.” We know what happens. They can’t even honor those two commandments. And pretty quickly, humanity chooses sin and runs away from God. As this happens, God has to introduce more and more commandments to keep us from hurting ourselves and others. Think of God’s commandments as guardrails to keep us safe…and we are really bad drivers! 

The speech we hear from Moses is one of the most holy and important scriptures for the Jewish people, even to this day. "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone! Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.” This prayer is called the Shema, which is the first word of the passage in Hebrew, and it gave them their identity. At the time of Moses, no one worshiped one god. You would worship a whole bunch of gods and let them fight it out to see which one was better. The Chosen People were different. They belonged to one God and him alone they served. But they kept messing up and wandering off. And so God would give them more commandments and laws to bring them back in line. 

Today Moses is reminding them of this reality once again so they can enter the Promised Land. So how do they stay faithful?

The first word for us to pay attention to is “hear” which is that Hebrew word shema. In Hebrew, this word is not just listening for a sound, it also the word to obey. Unlike English, there are not two different words.  So, if you truly hear someone, including God, and you shema them, you obey them. And of course it’s not possible to hear and obey the one true God while at the same time hearing and obeying all those other gods that Israel kept sneaking off to serve. 

This prayer was everything to the Jewish people: it would be whispered into a baby’s ear when it was born, it would be spoken in the moments when someone was dying, and it is one of the prayers worn on the forehead in little boxes by Orthodox Jews as well as the Mezuzah, displayed in every Jewish home.

But obedience isn’t all. Moses tells them to love God as well, in the same way someone would love his or her spouse. Time and time again, God will compare Israel to a spouse who keeps running off with strangers who don’t love her. Jesus constantly uses spousal images as well. How are we called to love God? Like a husband, like a wife.  

With all your heart is not just feelings or emotions. That’s not what heart means in the Hebrew language. The Hebrew word for heart is “lavav” and means a place of decision, a place where we meet God face to face, and choose who we will serve. The word for heart means to decide to serve.

Nephez is the word for soul and it means “personality” “weirdness”, “quirks”. So we are called to love God with all our strangeness and uniqueness that makes us who we are. That is the full meaning of loving him with all our soul.

Mayod is the Hebrew word for strength and it is not actually a word. It is the equivalent of 5 exclamation points. So put it all together it means: “make a decision, before God, to serve him with all my personality, and weirdness all bold type with 5 exclamations points!!!!!

Psalm refrain picks this up and uses this Mayod word again, “I love you Lord my strength”, my mayod, my exclamation point.

The Shema, this most important prayer of the Jewish people was what Jesus tells the scribe in today’s gospel when he asks which of the 613 commandments is the most important. Interestingly enough, Jesus adds one additional thing to loving God with your whole heart, soul, and strength. He adds that we must also love God with all our mind too. Why? We cannot choose to love God or serve him until we know him. And it is with our mind that we come to know who God is and how best to love him with all that we are.

As any good teacher would, Jesus ties everything together as he connects loving God and keeping the commandments with loving our neighbor as ourselves. We can say we are holy and such great people and do all these things for God but if we treat each other like dirt, then those religious gestures and practices mean very little to God. The Lord wants to see us integrated, consistent in how we practice our faith and worship. The scribe, who is seeking truth, recognizes immediately that Jesus has revealed something special and life-changing and Jesus lets him know, “you are not far from the kingdom of Heaven.” Only one thing separates this scribe from perfection; now he needs to follow Jesus. It’s not enough simply to know him, we also have to hear, to obey, to Shema, the Lord.

Reflecting on the richness hidden in the original text of today’s readings leaves us with some challenging questions:

Do I hear the Lord as he speaks to me in Scripture and the teachings of the Church? Do I hear in a biblical way, meaning do I obey him?

Do I love the Lord with a free, total and conscious decision or only when I feel like it?

Do I love him with all my weirdness and uniqueness that makes me me?

Am I willing to make my love for God, the equivalent of Mayod, five exclamation points, my everything?

Will I incorporate Jesus’s addition to use my mind to know and love God and not just rely on my emotions?

Last and perhaps most important, as I work on these things, will I follow after Jesus, wherever that following may take me, even if it leads to the cross?

More than likely we have some work to do. I know I sure do!

 

Holy Desperation (30th Sunday, Year B)

  This week, as I was trying to pull something together for the weekend preaching, I looked over previous homilies. Not surprisingly, they all centered on the star of the show in today’s Scriptures, Blind Bartimaeus. In past preaching, the message was pretty straightforward: don’t listen to the voices around you, scolding you to be quiet, telling you to leave Jesus alone, he is too busy, too important for you. Be bold, don’t give up, trust! These messages are all true and I stand by all of it. But something different has jumped out at me this time around, something I hadn’t quite lingered on before so I would like to focus on that.

These last few years have been really hard. I can only speak for myself but I think many of you can relate. It’s not really one thing in particular but a whole series of battles, frustrations, hurts, and losses. After a while, they all add up. I start to wonder, is something wrong with me? Is everyone going through this level of resistance, pushback, anger, and insecurity? Is this how life looks from here on out? No matter how much I do, no matter how hard I try, so much seems to be incomplete and insufficient! I feel like Covid was the beginning of a whole culture shift not only in our society but also in the Church. After we limped out of that whole mess, we went right into All Things New. After hobbling through that, we had a brief repose and now a highly contentious election. As a priest and preacher, I feel like more and more of my life and work is a white-knuckle ride. Some days I simply pray, “Lord, just get me through this next appointment” or “help me survive this day”. In my more reflective moments, I step back and wonder: can I keep up this pace, can I continue to listen, to exercise patience and empathy, and find joy in living a life of service for 30 more years?! I am ashamed to say, some days, I just don’t know or I continue on because I don’t know if I could do anything else.

I am not sharing this to seek affirmation or pity for myself. Although the details of your struggle are different, can’t you also relate to those seasons in life where the hits keep coming? Where you can’t seem to do anything right, when everything keeps breaking, where your best efforts aren’t quite good enough, and no matter how hard you work, you feel further and further behind? I believe you know exactly how this feels because it is part of being human, with flaws, shortcomings, and limitations. Ultimately, what gets me through these moments is the hope that a solution will present itself, that tomorrow will be better, that I can fake it until I make it, and this rough patch won’t last forever. I’d love to tell you that the thing that always drives me is complete faith and hope in God. But sometimes, it is more like: I can try harder tomorrow. I still have something left in the tank. There is one more thing I can try. My personal persistence will win.

Let’s go to Bartimaeus. Until experiencing my own prolonged weariness and desolation, I don’t think I appreciated how desperate and lonely he was. Bartimaeus, blind and begging, was nothing, he had nothing, he could do nothing. For so many around him, he had become invisible, an annoyance at best, someone others wished would just disappear. For Bartimaeus, there was no “tomorrow will be better”. For him it was, tomorrow I will still be blind, I will still be asking asking people for support who wish I would just go away. Even those who helped, many did so with contempt, after dispensing preachy advice and judgement. Bartimaeus knew this degrading, dark, miserable routine was his future, until the day he died. There was no miracle cure for blindness waiting in a doctor’s office. There was absolutely nothing he could do to save or heal himself, no matter how badly he wanted it. 

We might not think of it at first but in this forsaken, terrible situation, Bartimaeus is actually more free than most of us! He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he cannot save or heal himself. He has nothing left to lose when Jesus passes by that fateful day outside of Jericho. A person with more personal resources, someone who had a reputation to protect or worried at all about what others think would just keep their mouth shut. Not Bartimaeus!!! “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me”, he cries out! And here is the heart of what I want to share with you today/tonight. Do you think Bartimaeus said this quietly and calmly? ….. NO!!! I am confident his cry sounded more like a wounded animal than human speech. This was a sound that would give us goose bumps and make the hair on our necks stand up. How do you think it sounded for Jesus to hear someone cry out from the depths of a broken heart? It was a primal scream, complete desperation, the sound of someone who knew this was their last chance. Bartimaeus realized if Jesus wouldn’t stop and help, the rest of his life was condemned to the darkness he had been living. Tomorrow would not be better. That is why Bartimaeus didn’t listen to the voices around him, telling him to be quiet, to stop making a fool of himself, to stop bothering Jesus. The similar voices inside of Bartimaeus that said these same things had already been silenced; the opinions and judgements of others no longer had any power.

Psalm 34 says, “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted.” Jesus cannot ignore Bartimaeus or anyone who has exhausted all their options and now realizes only Jesus can help them. As I reflect on the holy, heartbreaking desperation of Bartimaeus, I realize I still put far too much stock in my abilities, my reputation, my efforts, my accomplishments, and my resources. Even in my darkest moments, I have not yet cried out to Jesus as though he is my last and only hope. I still let the voices in and around me shush me to silence instead of crying out even louder, with all my might, until my voice cracks, my lungs burn, and nothing is held back.

What about you? Are you also under the illusion that you are self-sufficient and able to save yourself? Are you embarrassed and shy, willing to be invisible as Jesus passes by because of what you might lose by screaming for Jesus to save you, to heal you, to open your eyes?!

Jesus, give us the holy desperation of Bartimaeus! Jesus, help us to see that only you can save us, only you can heal us, without you, we are utterly poor! Jesus, we want to see. Jesus, Son of David, Son of God, have mercy on us!!

When In Doubt, Choose Service! (29th Sunday, Year, B)

  There are lots of perks to being a priest! You get to meet incredible people, you never have to worry about finding a seat in church, and the majority of my daily work is meaningful and directly tied to people’s lives. One of the secondary benefits of being a priest, especially serving as pastor, is that you learn lots of interesting, random things you probably wouldn’t otherwise know. As a naturally curious person, I find this wonderful! One of the things I’ve learned a lot about is boilers and my education is usually renewed around this time of year when we turn them on for the first time. Inevitably, what happens is that a room or two will be blazing hot because the thermostat controlling the radiator in that space loses its mind. I asked the repair tech why it always seems the failure causes an overheated room rather than having no heat at all. His response was that it is by design! Whenever there is a problem, whenever something isn’t quite right, the system is designed to fail OPEN, to error on the side of sending heat. I asked why this was. He replied that it is much cheaper and easier to open a window to cool down a hot room than to clean up a flood from a frozen pipe in a room that got too cold. I never would have thought about that but this failsafe made total sense. When in doubt, send heat!

A similar sort of failsafe is proposed in today’s gospel. Jesus had become incredibly popular at this point of his ministry, working miracles, attracting huge crowds, and some are even trying to make him king. James and John can sense the authority and power Jesus has and they want some of it for themselves. James and John ask Jesus for places of honor, one at his right and one at his left. But they want it for the wrong reasons. They want this power so they can be in charge and enjoy the worldly perks of prestige and rank. Jesus patiently reminds them that his followers must use any power and authority they receive as leverage to serve others. The failsafe for Christians is this: when in doubt, choose to serve rather than to be served. True greatness is using ourselves and our gifts to help others. 

Leadership, of course, is essential. Power is necessary. Power makes decisions and gets things done. But all power eventually corrupts unless it is grounded in the teachings of Jesus Christ. And leaders include not just the high and mighty CEOs, but us: parents, principles, managers, teachers, board members, policemen, scoutmasters, pastors, doctors —- anyone who has authority or leads the lives of others. In the Christian life all such leaders, including you and me, are servants who are there “not to be served but to serve and to give their lives as a ransom for many.” That radical teaching - and it is outrageously radical if you think about it - is a deep spirituality to live by, a necessary and humble default a Christian must embrace. The more power I have, the more service I must render, the more aware of others I must be.

You and I are called to be servant-leaders of whatever power or authority has been given to us. What are some practical ways we can know if we are imitating Christ’s example? First, servant leaders pay attention to the rank-and-file people around them. No person, no matter what their education, influence, or occupation, is dismissed or looked down on. How about us? How do we treat the people who work the cash register, prepare our meal, repair our homes and vehicles, or pick up the trash? Are we kind, polite, and aware of them as individuals? Do we remember their name, learn about their lives and families, and sincerely ask how they are doing? When they answer, do we listen? Secondly, servant leaders learn to think communally, not selfishly. What goes into our decision-making? Is it only about profit, sales, career, getting ahead, or what benefits me? Are there considerations to the long-range impact on the family, the community, or the environment? Finally, servant leaders strive for that humility which enables them to ask if they're part of the problem. They’re not afraid to be accountable to others and accept constructive criticism, knowing they’re far from perfect. Are we someone people feel they can challenge and correct or are we unapproachable? I think this is the most difficult of the three to adopt and embrace. Very rarely does correction come from someone who is blameless or flawless. And sometimes 90% of what they are saying doesn’t apply. But with an open heart, we can grow from the 10% that does. We should never forget that without challenging feedback, any one of us can become a tyrant. 

Let’s return to James and John who wanted the privilege, power, and position without the cross; they want his leadership without serving others. It must've been totally embarrassing when, at the end of the day, there were two lowly thieves, one at Jesus’ right and one at His left as he prepared to enter his heavenly kingdom. Not quite what they first imagined, but it made Jesus’ point.

We might wonder: did James and John and the others eventually get the message? Did they get to drink from the same chalice Jesus drank? I think so. About 12 years after Jesus' death, James was the first apostle to suffer martyrdom. Tradition adds that Andrew was tied to a cross, Bartholomew was skinned alive, Peter was crucified upside down in Rome, the other James was thrown from the Temple roof, Thomas was run through with a lance in the East Indies, Jude was pierced with arrows, Philip was hanged; only John escaped a gruesome death. Interestingly enough, he was the only apostle present during the crucifixion.  

We probably won’t have to go so far as martyrdom, but we must recognize the gospel message clearly states that worldly power and position are on the other side of servant leadership: followers of Jesus do not sit and wait to be served. They stand in solidarity with the world's most famous foot-washer and they serve everyone regardless of social status. And they do so with clear intentions of God’s love and joy because that is where true greatness is found! Our failsafe must always be to serve! In putting others first, we achieve true greatness and everlasting power that cannot be lost!