One of the wonderful innovations of technology in the last few years is the ability to “unsend or edit” emails and text messages. There are lots of reasons why someone might want to do this, and most of us can probably think of moments when we wished we could take something back. I have a bad habit of sending emails too soon, before I include all the recipients or attachments. Of course, I usually remember immediately after pressing “send.” It’s a blessing to be able to change our response, to right a wrong, and correct an answer before it is final. And in a much more important way, the Gospel reminds us that God gives us the ability to change our answer to him so long as there is still breath in our lungs.
The father asks his two sons to go work in his vineyard. One says no, but later changes his mind and goes. The other says yes, but never follows through. And Jesus asks, “Which of the two did his father’s will?” The answer is obvious: the first. In reflecting on this Gospel, it seems there are two kinds of freedom hidden in this simple story.
The first is the freedom to say no. The father gives his sons a choice. He doesn't force them to work in his vineyard. He allows them to say no and respects their free will… even if it is misused. That is also true of our relationship with the Lord. God gives us the freedom to reject him. He does not force our love or obedience.
The freedom to say no is what makes our “yes” meaningful. If we have no ability to say no, then our yes isn't really an act of love. If someone says, “You have to love me,” that's not love. Love requires freedom. This is why St. John tells us that “perfect love drives out fear.” We don't say yes to God because we are terrified of him or simply because we feel obligated. God invites us, and we freely choose to respond. We know we could walk away, but instead we choose to stay.
There is a second freedom in this Gospel which is just as important: the freedom to honor our yes. The second son says yes, but never goes. His example points to something we all struggle with: sometimes we mean what we say, but we don't follow through. Saying yes is easy; living our yes is much harder because our feelings change. Some days I feel like praying, and some days I don't. Some days I feel generous and patient. Other days I prefer to live alone on an island.
St. John of the Cross has a wonderful saying about this. He says, “If you don't feel love, if there is no love, put love there, and then you will find love.”
In other words, don't wait until you feel loving before you choose to love. Parents understand this. There are plenty of moments when caring for your children doesn't come with warm and fuzzy feelings. You're tired, frustrated, or you've had the same conversation 87 times. And yet you do what needs to be done. You do it because you love your child and have made a commitment. The feelings and affection follow the decision.
That is an important lesson for our relationship with God. We can sometimes think that if we don't feel close to God, our faith must not be real. If prayer feels dry, maybe we aren't praying correctly. But Christian freedom means we don't have to be slaves to our feelings. We can say, “I may not feel like it, but I have chosen this, and I am free enough to do it anyway.” We can pray when we don't feel like praying. We can forgive when we don't feel like forgiving. We can serve when we don't feel like serving. Many times love begins not with a feeling, but with a decision.
God himself loves us this way. He doesn't love us only on the days when we're lovable. He doesn't remain faithful to us only when we have earned it. His love is steadfast, even when our response to him is inconsistent. And that's why the Gospel is good news. Maybe today helps us recognize that we have been saying no to God in some area of our lives. The good news is that we can change our minds. It is never too late, while we are alive, to take back our “no” and say “yes.”
Or maybe we've been more like the second son. We've said all the right things, but our lives haven't always followed our words. We come to Mass, say our prayers, teach our children the faith, perhaps even work in the Church…and yet there are areas where we continue to resist what God asks of us. The Gospel reminds us that God isn't simply looking for a verbal yes. He wants a yes that becomes a lifestyle, manifested in actions.
So perhaps the question for us today isn't simply, “Which son am I?” Because at different times, we are probably both. The better question is: What is God asking me to say yes to today? And is there something that I promised God I would do but have been finding excuses to keep me from actually doing it?
In the end, that is what Christian freedom really is for…not simply the ability to do whatever I want or whatever I feel like doing. It is the freedom to choose what is good, to give ourselves to someone we love, and then to remain faithful to that choice. Sometimes the most loving thing we can say to God is, “I said yes. So I'm going.” Or, I told you no, but now I realize that was wrong. Now I will serve! My ‘no’ can become yes! The Father is still inviting each of us into the vineyard. Each day we are alive, he gives us the freedom to answer. Let us resolve to do his will!
