Giving gifts is not an easy thing to do…at least not truly personal and meaningful gifts. It’s not just a matter of spending more money, although sometimes that helps. It’s not just about surprise or beautiful wrapping. And it’s not even primarily about what the gift is, whether an object, an experience, or words. What makes a gift truly good…what makes it memorable, is the combination of thoughtfulness, self-sacrifice, and love embodied in it. More often than not, the gift itself matters far less than the intention behind it.
Looking back on my childhood, I can admit I wasn’t very good at giving gifts, especially to my parents. Like many kids, we would ask what they wanted for their birthday or Christmas. And more often than not, the answer was something painfully simple: “Stop fighting with your siblings,” or “Just do your chores the first time I ask.”
When I heard that, my heart would sink. I was willing to give almost any other gift, but not that one. Because it wasn’t the gift I wanted to give. And maybe you’ve experienced that too: giving a gift that was more about you than the person receiving it, or receiving a gift that didn’t really feel like a blessing because it missed the mark entirely.
As my parents and our family have gotten older, this truth has become even clearer. What matters most to them now isn’t money or expensive presents. What they ask for, again and again, is time: visits, shared meals, simply being together. That kind of gift often means more than anything flashy, because it is the gift of self. And it can feel more costly than money, because only we can give it. No one else can take our place.
Which brings us to the Epiphany.
More beautiful and pleasing to God than the gold, frankincense, and myrrh of the Magi was the simple fact that they brought themselves. These were wealthy and powerful men. They could have sent servants with their gifts. Instead, they personally made a long and difficult journey…months of travel, uncertainty, and risk; so they could place their gifts before the Christ Child with their own hands and see him with their own eyes.
That is the deeper beauty of their offerings. The gold, frankincense, and myrrh mattered because they expressed something greater: love, reverence, humility, and worship. They were outward signs of an inward offering: placing Christ before themselves. Whenever we encounter the living God, the proper response is worship and adoration, not because God needs it, but because worship changes us and restores right relationship with God and one another.
So how does this apply to our lives?
The same principle still holds. God doesn’t need anything from us. If there were something he lacked, he could create it. But there IS something he desires, something only we can give. God wants our love and friendship. He created us with free will, which means love must be chosen. It cannot be forced… even by God. And when we freely choose him, it brings him such great joy!
Take some time this weekend to reflect on the blessings in your life. Try to name one good thing in your life that cannot be traced back to God. Every breath, every joy, every moment of love has its source in him. Practicing gratitude gets us in the right mindset to think about what we can give him in return
One final thought. God has shown us what gifts he loves most. Like any good parent, he wants time with his children, and he delights when his family gathers for a meal. That is why Sunday Mass matters…not as an obligation to check off, but as a gift we freely give.
Too often we ask the wrong questions: “What do I get out of Mass?” or “How late can I arrive and still have it count?”But those are the questions of consumers, not gift-givers. Good gifts are never about minimum effort. They are about presence, attention, and love.
When we come to Mass faithfully, week after week, we give God something he desires deeply: our time, our attention, our hearts. And that gift does not leave us empty. It forms us. Sunday after Sunday, worship teaches us how to become better gift-givers everywhere else in life…more patient, more generous, more willing to show up even when it’s inconvenient.
Our gathering here may look ordinary, but when it is offered thoughtfully, sacrificially, and lovingly, it becomes one of the most precious gifts we can give. Like the Wise Men, we come ourselves. We don’t send substitutes. We bring what we have, our joys, our struggles, our time, our love, and we place them before Christ.
May this Mass, and every Mass we attend, gladden the heart of God. And may our faithful presence here shape us into people who know how to give good gifts by offering not just what we have, but who we are.
